Customer Reviews

The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I'm in my 40s and getting married for the first--and only--time in a few months. My fiance was feeling a little left out of the planning process, so I bought 2 copies of this book, one for him and one for myself. It's been a great discussion tool, and we've both made lots of notes all over the pages. The book covers the details of wedding planning but with a focus on keeping the relationship and the meaning of the celebration central. No matter what other planning guides you own -- and you will need others that do go bananas over flowers and bridesmaids' dresses if that's your thing, and God knows there are plenty of them out there-- please pick up a copy, or two, of this one. It lets you convert the stress and commericalism of planning your wedding into a relationship-deepening experience.

As relationship trainers, motivational speakers, and workshop leaders, the authors of this book have credentials. Drs. Sherven & Sniechowski wrote Be Loved for Who You Really Are (St. Martin's Press, 2003), The New Intimacy (Health Communications, 1997), and Opening to Love 365 Days a Year (Health Communications, 2000). Married since 1988, they also have the personal experience of marriage longevity in the difficult-to-navigate labyrinth of relationships. Their co-authored book, The Smart Couple's Guide has personality as well as practical advice.
Divided into fifteen chapters, Drs. Sherven & Sniechowski thoroughly discuss aspects of the wedding plan. The authors offer true-life cases from hundreds of couples as examples of those who chose to plan their wedding together. These examples are used in a variety of settings: from "Popping the Question" to "To Change Names, or Not." Dispersed throughout the book are insights from the authors' own co-created wedding. The authors even research the history behind wedding customs, yet empower the wedding couples to co-create their specific style of wedding according to the themes and traditions of their own choosing.
The Smart Couple's Guide...is not a wedding planner, but a useful source of suggestions that illustrate how a couple can plan their wedding (and marriage) together. The authors state: "By living out your commitment as a couple throughout the planning process, you will experience new possibilities and new levels of awareness." Pre-marital relationship building skills is a main theme of the book; the authors cite values such as honesty and integrity as the foundation of the wedding, not the number of tiers on the cake or names on the invitations. To strengthen those skills, the authors give the reader questionnaires regarding "The Ten Key Issues of Married Life" and "Financial Truth."
Whether it is the reader's first or fourth marriage, whether the reader is age thirty or seventy, The Smart Couples Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams is a must-read prior to the "big day." After all, the wedding day is a step into the maze of marriage. This book will steer the reader by offering clarity and reality to the couple as they journey together.
review by Lynn C. Tolson

In a copycat world of imitating successful books -- the millionth weight-loss book, the umpteenth reassuring guide for anxious brides -- Drs. Sherven and Sniechowski have filled a void by treating both men and women, brides and grooms, as co-partners. It may be heresy to say that the white-attired princess on the white horse is no longer the only star of the wedding process, but it's a long-awaited heresy that meshes beautifully with today's reality -- the reality that the vast majority of men and women who marry DO share in the wedding process. This book is for those sharers, those individuals determined to be partners before their wedding, during their wedding and for the rest of their lives.

This utterly indispensable book for married-couples-to-be will do wonders for lowering the divorce rate. Always supportive, never condescending, consistently lovingly and personal from first page to last, here is a book for every couple thinking about a wedding and for every person who knows a couple with marital plans.

This book is extremely specific when it comes to planning. I assumed it would be largely focused on the couple and how to reduce stress, but it actually provided real ideas for planning as well. I read it in two days and will most likely go back and keep referencing it throughout my planning process.

I purchased this book as part of my "wedding planning book binge," and while it raises some valid points, I also felt like some of it was overbearing. The suggestions for discussions of finances and whether or not a woman should change her name was thought provoking. However, sometimes the authors' own views overwhelm a person's ability to design their own wedding to suit them. For instance, the author describes the silly tradition of feeding each other cake (occasionally forcefully) as "abusive" and makes a blanket statement that it shouldn't be done. Also, they seem to have the position that they had a relatively ideal wedding, though it isn't one-size-fits all. Not a bad purchase, but not my favorite text.

I am engaged and reading everything I can about wedding planning. Your book, The Smart Couples Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams is the best I have found--hands down! In fact, I am reading it for the second time in 6 months. I can always learn something new with each reading. I love the fact that, in this book, there is lots of focus on preparing for marriage. Judith and Jim do a clever job of weaving the wedding planning into the importance of thinking ahead to the marriage itself. It's refreshing to see after all the books that deal with wedding plans only. Very thoughtfully and lovingly written and I will go back to it often as I get ready for my own wedding.

The Smart Couple's Guide to The Wedding of Your Dreams is invaluable. I must have read 30 or 40 books while planning my wedding, and the Guide was one of only a few I relied on. It is refreshing. It is written from a more mature perspective than the other wedding guides. This is one of the only guides that does not assume parental financial authority in weddings, and it is the only one that I found that suggested FULLY personalized ceremonies (instead of pre-assembled ceremonies with personalized vows). It is well written, comprehensive and witty. A definite must for any wedding planner, bride, groom and even parents!

I've actually seen the authors live and read their other works, including "The New Intimacy" (another great book for couples). Their writing is creative, spot-on, funny, and amazingly insightful. Engaged couples are blessed to have this practical and soulfull guide as a trusty ally in starting off right. Worth every penny. Get it to the next stressed-out groom and bride you know.

A terrific guide for any couple planning their wedding. No other book gives equal weight and support to the bride and groom. A long overdue and essential guide, I recommend it highly.

As a Wedding Officiant, I can guarantee that Judith & Jim hit the "Dream Wedding" target dead center. I am pleased to recommend this book to every couple whose ceremony I perform. The perfect gift for the Bride and Groom. More than just another book about weddings! Love it! CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com