Customer Reviews

Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person

5 star:		(62)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I LOVED this book. I am so tired of books that tell me how to control my kids' behavior as though they were supposed to respond like trained dogs. THis book shows you how to raise children who will be caring adults who can take their place in a democratic society, not trained puppets who slavishly follow authority. Yet the authors are not permissive. They showed me parenting techniques that work in the short run and that unlike all the other books are also good for the long run. Buy this book -- it is crucial for every parent and for our society!

I have three children, and my shelves were filling up with parenting books. They told me "how to" but none of them told me "why." Now comes Smart Love, which tells me Why, When, What AND how to. I now know how to respond to my children today and also where they have been and where they are going developmentally. For the first time, I really understand the meaning of behavior that has puzzled me with each child, for example, why they start clinging to my leg at about a year of age and don't let go for months. Wise and warm hearted and knowledgable, Smart Love is the best book out there. No wonder Ann Landers recommends it.

I'm a working mother who chooses to work but I also care deeply about my children's emotional development. I can see how much my children miss me when I'm at work, but the books I've bought don't help me help them with their feelings. Smart Love both showed me parenting pitfalls to avoid and how to respond to my children's feelings so to safeguard their emotional development. My two year old, who was crying every morning about going to day care is now going happily. His teachers report that he has stopped having tantrums at school and is enjoying the paints and toys. I am so grateful to have this book, which doesn't whitewash the problems of combining work and parenting but shows parents how to solve them! Don't go off to work without reading it.

No question this is a super parenting book -- and one of the few truly different and original ones I have ever read (and I have a shelf of them). The authors gave me so much to think about, in fact a whole new way of seeing my kids that warmed my heart and snapped me out of feeling like a hasseled traffic cop. They put me back in touch with the everyday joy that can be part of parenting if you take their smart love persepective. See for yourself!

I am the mother of three and I can tell you from experience that this is the most helpful parenting book I have ever read! I am giving it to everyone I know who has children of any age. This is the only book that really lets you know what your children are thinking and feeling and what it is fair to expect of them at every age. Smart Love also gives you loads of concrete, practical helpful suggestions to make you a better parent. Put it on your gift list -- your family and friends will really thank you this year!

My five children range from 8 months to 13 years of age and I often feel the need for expert advice but don't want to buy a book for every child! Not only that, but I have not found the books I have read very helpful because they are either too harsh or too utopian and they are so narrowly applicable. Smart Love offers a coherent understanding of what parenting is all about and what growing up is all about. Smart Love is smart because it offers a game plan for parenting your child from birth through adolescence. The principles and guidelines make sense and carry forward. At the same time the book makes clear how my children's minds are changing and growing and what is reasonable to expect at every age. I have relied on this book for dilemmas I have had with each of my children and each time the advice has been terrific and the problem I was having was completely resolved. If you have children of any age, this is the book for you!

This book has really helped me stop and get into my child's mind and be concerned about his long term happiness not whether he is embarrassing me at the moment or making me late. Although time out seems to be universally accepted as a discipline tool I felt like it was abandoning my toddler when he was already distressed. This book validated that feeling and many others. The basic idea of the book (which is repeated often) is that children see their parents as perfect during the first few years and so if your discipine methods involve some form of punishment to make them unhappy - yell, time out, spank etc. they will think that is the right way to feel and will seek unhappiness later in life. This doesn't mean that you cannot correct behaviours and they demonstrate how to do so in a more loving, cooperative manner. This book has helped me be more patient and understanding when I keep in mind my child's point of view and my goals for his long term happiness and self esteem. I have read many parenting books and this one is my favorite!! I think the world would be a happier and more peaceful place if we all took Smart Love to heart.

If you want to open a Dad's eyes to a whole new world of parenting, give him Smart Love. I am the father of four, and am amazed at how much more enjoyment I am getting from my children after I read Smart Love. For the first time, I do not feel I have to worry every moment about whether my kids are respectful and behaving because I understand their stages much better and realize that I was expecting them to be too adult too soon. Now that I have relaxed, they are happier and more relaxed too, and they are actually better behaved than when I was on their case all the time. This is the way parenting ought to be!

My problem as a parent has always been knowing what it is reasonable to expect of my children. This wonderful book lays out what is normal for children from babyhood to adolescence. I learned that I have been expecting waaaay too much of my kids and that they will outgrow many of the behaviors I have been fighting with them to change. Suddenly our house is peaceful and pleasant and I feel so much more confident about what I am doing. This book contains vital information not available in any other parenting book -- see for yourself!

Mental health professionals from all disciplines have long needed a book they can recommend to parents that provides parents with an effective, scientifically-tested approach to raising happy children and also helping children who are unhappy. This book is invaluable for parents and those who help parents because it empowers parents, helping them with the complications of parenting, and also avoids the problem so common in mental health care -- causing parents to feel guilt or self-blame if their children are unhappy. I have used the ideas in this book in my clinical practice with parents and children and have found that they yield unparalleled results in increasing parents' competence and happiness with caregiving, and also in aiding parents to help their unhappy children discover and strengthen their natural potential for lasting inner happiness. This book is the best investment you can possibly make -- a true masterpiece!