78 of 85 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Why Marriage Matters, August 7, 2005
This review is from: Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love in a Hook-Up World (Hardcover)
Dr. Morse speaks for a growing chorus of women my age who were duped by the false promises of feminism. We were sold the completely unsustainable notion that contraceptive sex....that is, recreational sex, is the ultimate sign of power and control over our lives. In fact, the opposite is true. Recreational sex has left a trail of tears, abortions, STDs, broken homes and children without in tact families. Perhaps, worst of all, recreational sex has left us with hardened hearts, incapable of hearing the good news about a truly humane version of sexuality......a quite revolutionary and seldom seen phenomenon today......monogamous, married sex!
Dr. Morse has sharpened our cultural lens by revealing the truth about recreational sex. First, she explains that today's notion of sexual freedom has required an inhumane definition of freedom. Today's false notion of freedom, according to Morse, is being COMPLETELY unencumbered by relationships. To sustain such a tortured understanding of freedom, women have bought into the "Sex in the City" version of freedom, or as Dr. Morse coins it, "consumer sex." Trading boyfriends, girlfriends, marriages, children from multiple fathers, fathers acting as merely "sperm donors," all the while pretending that this is normal, healthy behavior, has left us in a permanent state of adolescence and chaos.
The truth is that every human being is created for relationships because every human being is created for love. But love is not a sentimental momentary feeling of gratification, nor is it a domestic arrangement agreed to by consenting adults and it is most certainly not found in the promises of career success, financial security and autonomy. The most curious and beautiful irony of the human experience is that love is most deeply felt when it is given away. We find the gift of our very lives as we give our very lives away through our most fundamental and permanent family relationships: spouse, children, parents, brothers and sisters. Lest you think that I am suggesting that only the married can be happy, I offer you the example of Mother Theresa....whose happiness and fulfillment were realized in the love and compassion she so generously gave to others. The ambitions of every human heart, it turns out, are truly realized when we are capable of self-giving love: our sexuality is only fulfilled when given in permanent, committed and exclusive love.
These realities alone will leave the reader "weak in the knees" with much to contemplate about the meaning of their own lives, but Dr. Morse continues with an even more astounding proposition. She proposes that our very freedom as a society depends on this self-giving love. Her background as an Economist (Professor of Economics for Yale and George Mason Universities and a Senior Research Fellow for the Hoover Institute at Stanford University) serves her thesis well. She is uniquely qualified in her analysis as a committed libertarian and advocate for the free society, combined with her experience as a mother, a foster mother and an adoptive mother and especially after many years as a career academic researcher and former devotee of recreational sex! (Oh, come on, we can all brag about that!)
Her life changing discoveries came as she learned about the irreplaceable role of the mother, father and immediate family that develops and the role that these relationships play in forming the human conscience. After adopting a two year old Romanian orphan who had been completely raised in an institution, Dr. Morse and her husband embarked on an amazing journey into child development as they learned how to parent a child with severe attachment disorder, the condition that often accompanies such children raised in chaotic, institutional settings. Dr. Morse's background as a libertarian immediately tuned into the socio-economic implications of a whole generation of children raised by day care centers, broken families and successive foster homes.
Turns out, that no society can truly be free if its citizens do not operate from a healthy, self possessed conscience and, further, it turns out that science is discovering that a human being's sense of worth and self possession is uniquely created by the care and nurturing of the relationships he or she is born into. The ability to attach to other human beings and to feel compassion for other human beings is developed in infancy and early childhood. The biological processes of brain development are dependent on early attachment to a loving family. Multiple caregivers and institutions can not create the necessary bonding that infants and children need for later brain development in language, relationships and learning. And a free society can not remain free when it's citizens are not nurtured and cared for by their families. In short, the family cannot be "out-sourced" as a free market commodity!
Read this book, but be ready to challenge the assumptions that you may have absorbed by our very self indulgent, self-loathing and sexually confused society-it will be the best present you can give yourself to ensure healthier and happier relationships....remember, it's what you were created for!
Angie Vogt, M.A.
Co-Host "Sound Insight"
Sacred Heart Radio AM1050
Seattle-Tacoma
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
53 of 59 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Finally an "Authentic" Self-Help Book!, September 1, 2005
This review is from: Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love in a Hook-Up World (Hardcover)
As with all self-help books, Dr. Morse offers a promise to help us "Find Life-Long Love in a Hook-up World." But, unlike most self-help books with "sex" in the title, Dr.Morse offers no suggestions on how to choose the perfect lover, or how to improve our lovemaking techniques. Instead of reassuring us that we too can find the perfect mate, or have the perfect marriage, she reminds us that none of us are perfect in an imperfect world. And, those who seek such perfection in a mate are doomed. While she offers some practical suggestions on how to deal with feelings and communication, and she begins the book with the promise that Smart Sex "is about how and why to stay married," the real focus of Smart Sex is much deeper. Early in her book, Dr. Morse advises us that "the self help books aren't going to be enough because they deal with the superficial symptoms of much deeper problems." Instead of techniques, Morse focuses on the nature and meaning of sex and marriage. Instead of easy answers, Morse explodes some of modern society's most cherished and destructive myths about the "joys of recreational sex."Of course, this has not stopped amazon.com from suggesting on these very pages that customers interested in this title would be interested in a link that promises to help readers "Hook up with more women through doubleyourdating.com." Dr. Morse would probably be amused by this because it really proves the point she has made throughout her wonderful book--that the idea of sexual freedom has reduced sex to a commodity-and has left people more empty than before.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
SMART TOPIC FOR A MESSED UP WORLD, July 24, 2005
This review is from: Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love in a Hook-Up World (Hardcover)
Jennifer does an excellent job of highlighting a topic that needs to be discussed. With our media portraying casual sex as the norm and the nuclear family as being a relic of the past, it should not be surprising that our divorce rate is very high and too few children are being raised by both parents. Her message needs to be heard by this generation of young people. In this country, we desperately need to change the way we view relationships, families and raising children. Jennifer has provided a vaulable service that will hopefully lead to positive change in this critical area.
Jeff Crouere
Host, Ringside Politics
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
