Customer Reviews

The Smart Step-Family: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family

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If you want to feel empowered, inspired, comforted and renewed about your steplife, read this book. In his straightforward and calming manner, author Ron Deal brings hope and healing into a stepparent's life in this easy-to-follow volume based on Christian principles. For the stepparent-to-be, the new stepparent or the veteran, this book is a lighthouse in a stormy world, reassuring us that we can find our way.

Right from the introduction, the overwhelmed reader breathes a sigh of relief and enjoys the reminder that there are, indeed, healthy stepfamilies out there, and having one is a real possibility. Deal gives us a deeply comforting and proactive approach to our steplives, zeroing in on the practical steps we can take right now. We're all willing to work hard for our families, but if we don't work on the right things, it won't matter. Work smarter, Deal says. That involves two things very much within our control: understanding stepfamily life and making intentional decisions about living that life.

Deal points out some "key stepping-stones" that we'll need every day. These attitudes and perspectives will enable us to overcome obstacles and take advantage of the opportunities around us. They include Spiritual Integrity, Listening and Understanding, Perseverance, Commitment, Patience, Flexibility and Humor. It sounds basic, but Deal shows us how to master these skills so that we can have a more healthy and peaceful life all around.

With strikingly appropriate Biblical parallels, Deal likens the steplife we all want to the Promised Land the Israelites found after years of wandering. May of us stepparents wander for years, too, often wanting to give up. Deal's reminder that God won't abandon us either is just the beginning of the comfort and inspiration this book offers.

Deal lays out the seven steps in the journey to the "Stepfamily Promised Land." Each one is clearly explained, and their presentation contributes to the book's message of encouragement and possibilities. Deal includes studies of a stepparent's expectations, how important the marriage is in the success of the family, parenting with former spouses and much more. You'll see yourself time and again in his words, and more importantly, you'll see how you can make positive contributions to your family, starting today.

The author includes stories of stepfamilies in trouble and stories of those who have made it to the Promised Land. Understanding that the journey is tough for others, too, gives the reader a sense of belonging, along with the impetus to step through the tough times because something good awaits.

Each chapter of the book includes questions and discussion topics to help couples understand each other's perspective and to guide them in making responsible and healthy decisions. Now that's working smarter.

The Smart Step-Family: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family provides a much-needed Christian perspective to the process of building a healthy step-family. Ron has done some serious research and has called upon his therapist background to provide step-parents with some very practical suggestions to make the complex relationships work.

Too often, churches are unable to provide counseling and guidance for step-families and, in fact, they sometimes consider them as second-class. Ron helps to give a Biblical framework for acceptance.

I recommend the book highly and I recommend that churches consider hosting one of Ron's seminars. Having attended one, I can say they are extremely helpful.

I'll keep it short and to the point. My wife and I could have benefited tremendously from this book if we would have known about it sooner. Only after a year and a half of remarriage did we find ourselves in need of a tool to help and encourage us. We were amazed at how clearly the book identified the exact issues we were facing in our stepfamily. We are currently going through it a second time and are getting so many helpful tips from it. It is a reassurance to us that the issues we are going through are very typical for a stepfamily and at the same time we have a plan and a new attitude to apply to all of the unique situations we continually find ourselves in. This book is a must read for any stepfamily. Preferrably before you remarry.

The BottomLine is that this is the best book for step families that speaks from the Christian perspective. Integrating families is the biggest challenge of any family type and this book gently inspires and motivates as it answers numerous questions. Personally, as a member of an integrated family, I LOVE this book and it's message. As a professional Marriage and Family Therapist working with dozens of clients, this book is the best resource for the ever changing, challenging blended family. I recommend it for ALL of my step parent clients and for every one in all of the support groups I do that involve integrating families. GREAT for newly divorced individuals - supportive but also tells you straightforward what you'll be getting yourself into if you remarry with kids in the home!

This book is an excellent source for those with children who are considering remarriage. I had "The Brady Bunch" mentality and this sure blew it out of the water. Scripturally founded and extremely well written, it has given my fiance and me a realistic perspective on what to really expect. It also makes you think much more about what your children have gone through, something we as adults don't often take into account. I am passionate about this book. It is a must read!!!!

Three months before my remarriage into a step-family, a friend suggested I read this. I grew up in a step family and figured I could manage just fine. It's a good thing I read the book. My whole perspective and expectations of being a step father have completely changed. Quite honestly, I have had to toss out all my inaccurate expectations and start over. The marriage is coming soon and I now know what to and not to expect. What a tragedy it would have been hurt my future wife and kids with my ignorance. The author is straight forward and deadly accurate. It is from a Christian perspective, and that's exactly what I was looking for.

This book has been an incredible blessing in my blended family's life. My marriage would not have survived w/out the help of this book. Read this book if you are in or thinking about entering a blended family situation.

This book helps step-families, in such a realistic way and helps biological and step-parents to improve their families by following some very practical steps. Every step-parent should read this book.

While this book contains a lot of helpful information that most all stepfamilies can use, it is written from a totally Christian perspective and speaks of God and Jesus on most all of the pages. Most of the ads I've seen for this book, in addition to the book's dustjacket itself, do not tell potential buyers about the Christian slant. If you're not a Christian, don't buy this book as you'll most likely be turned off by statements such as "We should continually seek to live as Christ lived and take on his attitude of sacrifice. The qualities of Jesus form stepping-stones..." If you are a Christian, then you will certainly like this book.

I wish I would have purchased this book after I divorced. This book is an excellent christian resource not just in moving forward in a blended family but dealing with the wounds and hurts of divorce. It really helped me deal with personal pain with my divorce, along with guilt and anger. Moving forward with this book in to my new blended family has been wonderful. Ron Deal really hits the nail on the head with this book. If you are considering marrying into a blended family this is a must read. If you are already slap into a blended family, no matter how many years in, this is still an extremely helpful book. No matter the resource a couple has to be united in their committment to making the new family work for everyone. Just like divorce, a blended family doesn't have to be devastating for children if parents would act like adults and validate feelings. It's not always good and/or easy, but the rewards are great in the end. The statistics of failure are even greater in remarriage, so we should tap all available resources to make it work. I most definitely recommend this book and also check out his website for monthly newsletters for stepfamilies. It really helps.