Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family [Paperback]

Ron L. Deal (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2006

Ron Deal explodes the myth of the "blended" family as he provides practical, realistic solutions to the issues that stepfamilies face. He helps remarried and soon-to-be married couples

Recognize the unique personality and place of each family member
Solve the everyday puzzles of stepparenting and stepchildren relationships
Learn communication skills to deal with ex-spouses
Honor families of origin while developing new traditions
Invest the time to grow their stepfamily slowly rather than look for instant results

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"The best book available for stepfamilies that I’ve seen." —Dennis Rainey, Executive Director, FamilyLife.

About the Author

Ron L. Deal is Founder and President of As For Me And My House Ministries, LLC and Successful Stepfamilies, an organization that empowers stepfamilies for healthy living and equips churches to minister to the unique needs of stepfamilies. He is author of the book "The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family" and creator/presenter of the "Building A Successful Stepfamily" seminar. Currently Ron is serving as Stepfamily Educational Consultant to Focus on the Family.

Ron is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, and a member of the Stepfamily Association of America's Advisory Council and Institute Faculty. Ron and his wife Nan are also members of the National Advisory Board for The Association of Marriage and Family Ministries.

Ron's national radio appearances to address the needs of stepfamilies include "Focus on the Family" (and numerous FOTF broadcasts), "FamilyLife Today," "HomeWord" with Dr. Jim Burns, "America's Family Coaches" with Dr. Gary & Barbara Rosberg, "Live the Life" with AACC president Dr. Tim Clinton, "Josh McDowell radio," and many others. National TV appearances include "Reality Talks" with Dr. Kevin Leman, "A New Harvest," and "At Home Live," and "100 Huntley Street" in Canada. He has written feature family and ministry articles addressing a variety of family matters for a number of publications and online magazines.

On a regular basis Ron trains family ministry professionals at the Association of Marriage & Family Ministries conferences and has spoken at the National Stepfamily Conference, the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference, the national Smart Marriages, Happy Families conference, and the Utah and Arkansas Governors' conferences on the family. He and his wife, Nan, and their sons live in Arkansas.

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Bethany House Publishers; Reprinted edition (January 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 076420159X
• ISBN-13: 978-0764201592
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,335 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #2 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families

More About the Author

Ron L. Deal, M.MFT., is the founder of Smart Stepfamilies.com and an expert in remarriage and stepfamily relationships and therapy. He is author of the Amazon.com bestselling book The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom (coauthored with Laura Petherbridge), The Smart Stepdad, and the groundbreaking book The Remarriage Checkup: Tools to Help Your Marriage Last a Lifetime (coauthored with David H. Olson). Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who frequently appears in the national media. He is a popular conference speaker and his video series The Smart Stepfamily DVD is used in communities, churches, and homes throughout the world. He is a member of the Stepfamily Expert Council for the National Stepfamily Resource Center. Ron and his wife, Nan, and their sons live in Texas. Visit www.SmartStepfamilies.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Encouraging and Practical Book, February 1, 2007

By 

Mary Odom - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family (Paperback)

Ron Deal gives very practical advice on how to make step situations work in the face of divided loyalties, marital problems, parenting differences, toxic ex-spouses, etc. With the divorce rate at 74% for second marriages with children, there's obviously unique dynamics in a step family that couples must face along with all the other normal challenges of life and marriage. My family was helped by the explanations on how to gradually move the step parent into authority at various levels, and how to develop realistic expectations for the amount of time it will take for family members to accept each other and ultimately bond as a family.
For people who are considering a second marriage, please don't get discouraged by his "warnings" and occasional negativity. I wish that someone had told me the struggles that I might face before I remarried, and that someone had been straight with me about how hard it really is to blend two families. Thank God that we read the book before we threw in the towel. His recommendations really work, and our family has a lot less tension and pressure since reading The Smart Step Family.

20 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good Christian Based Help for Step-Families, May 14, 2009

By 

Sighing Flosser (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family (Paperback)

I recently previewed a series of books as a potential texts to use with step families in crisis. The least informative of these books was "Happily Remarried" by David and Lisa Frisbie. Although the book was inherently readable and certainly got a few good points across--it was completely inadequate to deal with the complexities many step families face.

If your step family is dealing with serious issues I recommend "Smart Step Family" by Ron Deal or "Step Coupling" by Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green. You will find either of these books to be far more comprehensive and useful, although each one has its own strengths. The "Smart Step Family" is a book written from a strong Christian perspective and as such provides significant spiritual and biblical background for people of faith. "Step Coupling" approaches the step family more from a secular counseling context and therefore does not delve much into the moral or ethical aspects of the various issues facing step families. Indeed, when discussing a foundational issue like honesty or dishonesty, the "Step Coupling" book explicitly states that neither value is right or wrong. This was almost a deal-breaker for me. I suspect that even most non-religious people would struggle with the idea that all behavior is value neutral. Nevertheless, the book largely arrives at the same conclusions as its Christian counterpart--albeit from a different perspective.

All in all, I think that any step family going through internal or external struggles would be well served to read both books. Both bring unique and significant insights into the challenges that step families face. The "Step Coupling" book is somewhat more earthy and easy to read, being filled with concrete examples from actual step families. The "Smart Step Family" book feels a little more detached, but still does a very good job of communicating the key issues that step families need to address, while acknowledging the spiritual needs of those involved and how to address them. In this sense, it is perhaps the deeper of the two. Either book will do a good job in helping the step family better understand itself and move toward a more fulfilling future together.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wise Advice, Practical Help, April 9, 2007

By 

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W. (Solana Beach, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family (Paperback)

Ron Deal is one of North America's leading experts on stepfamily life. Together with Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie, he is one of only two authors I know of who address blended families from a faith-based perspective. And there are a LOT of faith-based stepfamilies in North America!

This book is revised and updated from a previous edition, which was also good. Very practical help, very clear writing. Most of the challenges you'll face as a stepfamily are addressed here, with wise and down-to-earth advice.

I strongly recommend this for all stepfamilies, especially those who are persons of faith.

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend: Happily Remarried: *Making Decisions Together *Blending Families Successfully* Building a Love That Will Last