Customer Reviews

Smiling at Shadows: A Mother's Journey Raising an Autistic Child

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Thank you so much for this book. Junee is inspiring and warm, her love for her son and respect for his rights is uplifting for any parents dealing with the ups and downs of raising a child with autism. I am a single mother of two autistic children and while reading this book I was touched beyond words, I hope one day to inspire other parents as Junee has for me and many more parents around the world. Is there any way of emailing her or atleast a way for me to say thank you to her and let her know how much she has touched my family?

When Dane Waites was born in 1974, tolerance towards autism was just starting to move out of the shadows and into the light. His behavior was autistic from infancy; he smiled at trees and at the shadows they made on his walls. Largely nonverbal, he reached some milestones at a later rate, e.g. mastering toileting at age 7.

The boy also celebrated his first Christmas at age 7. The Waites, wanting him to enjoy Christmas as his peers did, taught him about Santa. Junee Waites even said that once introduced, she feared Santa would be with them forever. By the time Dane reached his teens, he accepted the explanation that Santa only comes to younger children. Dane's poignant comment, "I'm too old for Santa, right" makes one feel a tad sad for him. One cannot help but wonder if Dane still believed. I think another approach would be to tell him, "Dane, Santa is fun pretend and a game many people play with their children as a Christmas tradition" or whatever verbiage got through to him. The remote possibility that Santa might remain an enduring belief far past that of his peers was unfortunate and in which case, it seems the honest approach would be better. Fortunately for all, Dane learned to open gifts without fear of the unknown and participate in holiday activities.

Dane was enrolled in a mainstream kindergarten and it was there he met his lifetime friend, Jenny. She accepted Dane unconditionally; she said that she knew he could talk and when she asked him her name, he said, "Jenny." She was his defender and protector; a photograph of the pair at Dane's 5th birthday party shows Jenny at his side, ready to go to bat for him at any time. I just loved that part.

Jaeger, the German short-haired pointer was another faithful protector Dane enjoyed. The beautiful dog (1983-1992) was an important part of Dane's life and rarely left his side. Her untimely death might make you cry, but you will certainly be cheered by the strides Dane made.

Dane's immediate community accepted him as well. There was a large Italian community in his town and he learned to make many Italian dishes; Junee took conversational Italian and out of this, many friendships were made. Dane was quickly and readily absorbed and accepted by his friendly neighbors; from these friendships came lasting bonds and an abiding respect for Italian food, language and culture.

Dane's world expanded tremendously; the Waites took Dane on trips and moved twice during their son's boyhood. Dane was happiest when outside and enjoying nature. Luckily a farm family with 3 children had him work with them on their farm and Dane thrived in that environment. He also got to travel to the Fiji Islands and appreciated Fijian culture. I like the way he took an open interest in other people.

Junee Waites is wonderfully candid about life with Dane and working within his challenges. She is a person I truly admire and her unflagging faith in her son along with the kind nuns and priest who also taught him and helped him understand and appreciate his faith truly warms the heart. I loved the part when Dane received his First Communion at age 10 and the priest who wrote a lovely account of this in a book. Dane's spiritual development is nicely chronicled as well; an especially moving account of this was when Dane told a man in a wheelchair he would pray for him. Dane also insisted on bringing apples to feed homeless people in a neighborhood park.

The Waites' odessy with autism came full circle when they encountered Jenny, Dane's boyhood friend in a restuarant. By then the manager of the place, Jenny told them how she understood about Dane and knew how to reach him as only a compassionate peer could. That was my favorite part along with Dane's First Communion.

Dane's travel and spiritual development no doubt helped him become a rather well rounded young man. He also demonstrated physical prowess in early adulthood when he took up running; marathon biking and weight lifting. Although still autistic, Dane continues to remain an active, thriving member of his society and has held down jobs since the age of 14.

Junee Waites provides readers with rich descriptions of the parts of Australia where she and her family lived; readers are treated to the places that they visited as travelers. To make a good thing even better, a list of resources as well as descriptions of resources available in Australia are provided. This is truly an outstanding book. It makes me think of the hymn, "On Eagle's Wings" and the song "You Are the Light of the World," as Dane emerged from shadows into the light of conversing and providing explanations of his experience with autism.

I read this book from cover to cover and then I read it all over again. I am a mother of a child with special needs (including autistic traits)and know of many others with young ASD children. This is a book I could recommend to them, for the insight it offers into both autism and a parent's journey. I learned so much, began to see life through the eyes of the ASD child and to understand why he acted as he did, and related it to much of what my friends' children did, or my own. The mother's love shone throughout the book yet she was very honest about how she felt and how hard that journey was at times. Always though, it was a book of hope and of love and remained positive throughout.

Like the previous reviewer, I too would like to write to the author to say how enormously helpful this book is. It should become an ASD classic, to inform and inspire parents, professionals, the general public - and those with ASD themselves.

This story of a young family struggles with Autistic son. Its truly a great story, i cried, laughed and smiled.

i loved the book! it was a great book. i liked how they brought dane in tol his world. it was soo cool to see him from baby hood to adult hood. and they accepted his behavoirs. thanks june for a good book.