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Smite Me, Oh Dark One [Kindle Edition]

Steve Thomas
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Acerbus hates his job. While he is content to watch and study the mortal races, the other gods constantly look for reasons to destroy their newly-created world. When they finally find an excuse, they command Acerbus to become the Smiter, destroyer of all creation.

Armed with nothing but spite and goblins, Acerbus decides that there is only one way to ensure his own failure and save the world: by becoming an Evil Overlord.

“Smite Me, Oh Dark One” is a comedic fantasy short story.

Cover by John Comegno

Product Details

  • File Size: 256 KB
  • Print Length: 26 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005K21VDI
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #32,376 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Snide humor October 2, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was somewhere between a short story and a novella - longer than the standard short story, but not a novella. I found it to be quite well-written and displaying a decided knack on the author's part for parody and snide or snarky humor. This is one of those books where you really shouldn't be drinking anything while you read for fear of causing damage to your Kindle!

The gods come together to create a universe, filled with creatures of their making. The only problem is that all the gods are incredibly shallow and self-centered, and their creations are made in their images. The Dark God seems to have his head screwed on better than the rest, and tries to pursuade them of the foolishness of their endeavor (and fails, of course). So he sets out to prove his point through his creation, the goblins. Then the newly-created universe is turned loose to grow and develop. When some of the creatures reach out to their gods directly, which the gods consider to be an 'assault upon heaven', the Dark God is chosen to destroy all creation - and he refuses. What ensues is supposed to be a 'learning situation' for creation - but do they learn, or are the creatures too made too much in the likeness of their creators?

Highly recommended if you like this type of humor.

Note on Kindle formatting: Very good. I only noticed one or two minor formatting errors, none of which impacted reading.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Evil God or Misunderstood? October 10, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
In fantasy stories, have you ever wondered why a god would be evil? What's in it for them? Was the god set up to be the evil one by the others and what if he refused to be backed into that role? And why would you choose to create life in your own image and expect it to worship you? If it's in your own image, wouldn't it be just like you? Where's the goal, what's the learning curve? Why do it in the first place? And if a dark god was part of creation, how could it be killed? Why create something that could destroy you? This author looks at some of these assumptions and then sat down to write this thought-provoking short story. It takes about 15-20 minutes to read but is worth the time.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very fun read October 19, 2011
By Nyxie
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was a very fun read. I loved almost every bit of this tale about how the vain God of Light and the reasonable God of Dark created a world almost based on their own likeness. And how the God of Dark tried to make his people learn lessons due to the fact that they would learn from mistakes that cost them their lives, and how the God of Light made his people immortal which just made them lazy. I loved how scared the God of Light was of dying himself so they (the other gods and himself, not including the God of Darkness)wanted to smite the people they created if they got to close to the Heavens in which they resided.

The banter in this was just perfect for me, and I found myself giggling over things I probably would have never giggled over, like the extinction of an entire race because they tried to fly into space. And I love the God of Dark for going to live on the planet, sulking like a little kid because he refused to smite everyone that got to close to the gods. I also liked how he tried to teach the God of Light a lesson, but in doing so...well, you'll just have to read the story. It's a great find for the free price tag, and only took me a few hours or so to read. So if you're looking for something to read that is light, sometimes funny with almost a dark sense of humor, and can be done in a few hours, I would recommend this little novella.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great story November 1, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I got this for free while looking for cheap books for my Kindle. I read this story pretty much straight through and found it to be quite entertaining and interesting. I laughed at several points throughout and would recommend it to anyone that is interested in an amusing diversion for a few hours.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A fun, quick read February 26, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
An interesting premise - what if the god of darkness was the only god who wasn't a complete moron? It is written in a fun, easy to read manner that both amuses and raises interesting notions.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome February 11, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A look at the humorous side of being an all powerful not so evil god. Good guys are so full of themselves at times, it seems the same applies to the omnipotent.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars More Fun than I Expected February 24, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book kept sending me into fits of giggles. "These jerks weren't going to kill my goblins. I was. Wait, no I wasn't." I completely lost it at "And that would make me the God of Telling Lux to Shove It. I liked the sound of that."

The "voice" of this book was a lot of fun. It fit my sense of humor quite well (I also like Douglas Adams and Monty Python), and I enjoyed reading this. It's always nice to finish a book with a smile on your face.

The frustration of the narrator with his fellow gods was palpable at times, but always amusing. The contrast between the created races (or rather the gods' "plans" and ideas regarding them) was interesting, and Acerbus' (mighty be the Smiter) solution to the problem managed to be innovative while incorporating some of the oldest tropes in story-telling history.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars interesting concept January 17, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I found this story to be well crafted. The unique dry humorous is not what I might consider "laugh out loud funny." Still, I found it engaging and appreciate the new twist. It is worth a recommendation.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great craftsmanship.
Not really to my taste, but very well written and if you think the setup is pretty cool, you will absolutely love it! Read more
Published 3 months ago by A. Hicks
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick interesting read
Read in one sitting. I like the turn on his point of view. Would read other books by this author.
Published 12 months ago by Jennifer Benson
3.0 out of 5 stars Cute comedic fantasy
This story will probably be best appreciated for fans of fantasy who like a bit of humor. Nothing struck me as laugh-out-loud funny, but there was a balance between cheesiness and... Read more
Published 14 months ago by morehumanthanhuman
3.0 out of 5 stars bad ending
Written well. Didn't like the ending or the premise of a god committing suicide, regardless of the reason. They want at least 20 words for this review - why? Read more
Published 14 months ago by gary bennett
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this!
I swear, this story captures the complete essence of how I feel most days. Acerbus is saddled with Lux and the eleven other stupid Gods who start and experiment without... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Diane Malkowski
5.0 out of 5 stars READ THIS
This is a fabulous short story. The sarcastic god of the goblins will have you rolling your eyes at the rest of the pantheon the entire time.
Published 15 months ago by Rachel D.
5.0 out of 5 stars It's a great book.
I thought it was a great book that was fun to read and I hope the second one will be just as fun!
Published 20 months ago by Andrew
4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny, but too short
This story has to be read along with "Klondaeg the Monster Hunter" to really get it, but it is very funny by itself. Read more
Published on November 9, 2012 by mensagrrrl
5.0 out of 5 stars LOTR from Sauron's point of view
You've got little to lose on checking this out, it's short, cheap, and wickedly funny. Turns fantasy convention on it's head by giving us the story from the perspective of a... Read more
Published on August 27, 2012 by Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars its a little kids story
Its almost a little kids story but not one i'd let my kids read. The ideas are more for adults than children. Read more
Published on June 3, 2012 by laiam
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