Customer Reviews

Snitch'd [VHS]

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

A young Latina with a bright future is murdered at school for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. A Latino undercover cop pretends to be a high school student investigating the crime. The ending is meant to be a surprise.

I hope that synapsis didn't make you want to see this movie, because it stinks! The actors are bad; they have terrible timing. The cop looks older than the students and is more than obvious in his investigating. The gang warfare displayed here is boring. Several characters are shot or stabbed, yet this movie shows little blood. In fact, I haven't seen such fake dying scenes since watching "Doctor Who" reruns decades ago. Further, the protagonist is a martial arts expert. Every time he kicks or hits someone, a sound effect goes off. They might as well have shown "BAM!" and "POW!" Batman-style, as cheesy as this was. And yes, the fight scenes were poorly choreographed too. Jackie Chan need not worry.

I love seing actors of color getting roles. I think East LA is probably rich with story materials. I even loved seeing the buff, tattooed guy on the disc cover (who is no where to be seen in the film). But this movie was god-awful. You have been warned.

First, I'd like to correct one of the other reviewers, who said that SNITCH'D is about a "Latino cop" who goes undercover as a high school student.

Actually, the cop (played by writer/director James Cahill) looks Asian but is supposed to be white. He's certainly not supposed to be Latino. We know this because one of the students calls him a Spanish name, and Cahill's character has to ask a fellow student what he was called. "White boy," she replies.

Also, I don't think the movie is set in East L.A. The credits say it was shot in Santa Ana, a heavily Latino city in the middle of Orange County, which is just south of Los Angeles County.

Yes, the movie is inept and unrealistic. Many of the actors playing these high school students look well into their twenties. The guns look like toys. Sound like it too. When they're dropped or tossed aside, you can hear the hollow plastic clatter on the floor.

Yet this movie is entertaining, in a weirdly "what were they thinking," endearing sort of way. Star-writer-director Cahill smirks his way through much of the film, like he's trying to play a suave James Bond type. You look at him and think, this inept, non-charismatic Asian-playing-a-white-guy actually imagines he's the next Rambo/tough guy/action hero. Especially funny is his pursed lips and staring eyes when he sneaks around the house with his gun in "action hero" fashion. Cahill is morbidly funny!

And yes, his "martial arts" is as inept as the film's toy guns. He grabs a guy's head and repeatedly "slams" it against a desk in what's supposed to be a quick "jack-hammer" fashion ... only it's slow, and the victim's head clearly isn't making contact with the table. The victim seems to just go along with having his head banged against the desk, because director Cahill told him to. Also funny is when Cahill uses martial arts to defeat some eight gun-totting ganstas, partly with the aid of ping-pong paddles.

One "actress," when she's acting "sad" and telling Cahill about her recently deceased friend, seems to be actually smiling.

This film is probably being seen only because its female lead, Eva Longoria, has become famous on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, although she isn't much better in this film than the rest of the cast. Some, but not much. Then again, it must have been hard for the twentysomething Longoria to play a high school student swept off her feet by Cahill, or mouth his script's cliche-ridden relationship dialogue.

Their "flirting" in the library is another very funny moment! They're supposed to be teenagers, yet their relationship dialogue sounds written for adults, who in turn got their lines from bad romantic comedies.

I said this film is endearing. I have a soft spot for amateurs who buy a camcorder and think they can make a Hollywood style feature. Although I think this was shot on super-8 or 16mm film. That's because you can hear a camera whirring in some of the shots. And there's a soft, shot-on-film-then-blown-up look.

So although this film is inept enough to merit only one star, I'm giving it another one for unintentional humor, Longoria eye candy, and the effort of getting it finished.

A COP GOES UNDERCOVER AT A LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL TO INVESTIGATE A MURDER AND TO BRING DOWN A VICIOUS GANG OF DRUG DEALERS. VERY CHEAP AND VERY SENSELESS. FOR A GANGSTA MOVIE, THIS SEEMS TO HAVE QUITE A BIT OF FIGHTS. JAMES CAHILL MUST THINK HE'S BRUCE LEE THE WAY HE BE FIGHTING HIS WAY THROUGH ALL THE GANGS. THIS DEFINITELY IS ONE GANGSTA MOVIE I'M ASHAMED TO SAY I'VE SEEN. FILLED WITH HILLARIOUSLY BAD ACTING AND VERY POINTLESS ACTION SCENES. THIS MOVIE SHOULD'VE NEVER EVER BEEN MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

The Room is arguably the worst film ever made. And Snitch'd may be a close second-- that's no small feat. Snitch'd is so self-serious, and has so many outlandish incongruities that it takes a moment to wake up to the absurdity of it all. The director's commentary indicates that he was aware of the obvious production problems, but couldn't remedy them. As a result, the action appears comedic and nonsensical, and characters appear feckless.

--The box cover features a brilliantly tattooed and menacing gangmember who never appears in the film. (Instead, the cover should feature the real male lead: a lip-gloss wearing Asian martial arts twink in white sneakers.)
--This South LA town has 17 murders a day but not a single cop car.
--High school murders happen every day here, but there's no outrage, or police response, except by the Asian twink. (And he doesn't carry a walky-talkie, because no one is on the other end to answer him, apparently.)
--In LA, gunshot sounds are delayed at least two seconds, and sometimes indefinitely.
--In this world, punching always sounds like the same frying pan hitting the same sheet of cellophane.
--In Snitch'd, sometimes people can speak withouth moving their mouths at all.
--When a gangmember gets a double hit with two ping pong paddles on either side of the face, it usually means death.
--In this world, flesh wounds don't bleed. (The actors brought these shirts themselves, we can't stain them.)
--Hispanic gangs look alike, and are only distinguishable via chiron titles.
--In this world, gangmembers smoke pot feverishly for hours, sometimes even days on end, to the exclusion of any other activity, without ill effect or notice by any authority of any kind.
--Undercover cops posing as students break five classmates' arms the first day, but then continue unnoticed at the school for days.

Watch for these shots:
--An all male Hispanic gang party featuring an INDOOR barbecue with smoke filling the room.
--A bartender who rubs the counter with a rag, and is shown in the same spot, hours later, doing the same thing.
--Watch for the all-male hot tub scene featuring an actor with an authentic tattoo in close-up for no reason.
--Watch for a hand-made posterboard taped to the outside of a bulding identifying the location--"Library".

Even the amazing Eva Langoria can't save this over-ambitious, amateurish embarrassment. Snitch'd is the best worst movie of the new millenium.

I hope for James Cahill's sake the guy on the cover never watches the movie. He doesn't look like the guy you would want to take the piss out of.

Like the old saying never read a book by it's cover cause you will be burned, this is especially true in this case.

I don't need to break into detail because it's not worth the keystrokes, I for one will be demanding my 5 bucks back.

This movie is terrible. The main character seems really gay, and since he is playing a straight guy he has no talent whatsoever. The martial arts in this movie are sloppy, weak, and totally unrealistic. They use toy guns. Probably the cheapest, most poorly made movie I've ever seen. They put more effort into the cover than anything else. If you're interested in cheap stupid movies, this one is for you.

The main character came across as gay to me too. This movie is in no way realistic. The other reviewer is right about everything. It's a really cheap movie made by amateurs using plastic toy guns, the actors jerk the guns to make them look like they have a kick. The "martial arts" in the movie are weak and sloppy, there's no way that crap would actually work in real life. I don't even know why I bothered to watch the whole thing, I guess I just found the stupidity amusing. The cover makes it look like it would be a cool movie, unfortunately that's the only thing they put much effort into. I rented it from Block Buster too, they need to burn it. This movie looks like some kind of a high school project or something, like they had to make a movie to pass drama class.

Alright people, I understand that we need to make movies about the life in the barrios and the ghettos. But I was completely disgusted and annoyed by this ridiculous movie about Mexican and Chicano gangs. It was retarded!!! I got it aat Blockbuster thinking it was going to be a really good movie and I want my money back! The guy known as Jimmy Roberts got in my nerves so much that the only reason I continued to watch the movie was that I was hoping that one of these gangsters would kill the stupid son of a b*tch. C'mmon, he goes undercover in this high school and acts like he can punk any of these gangsters like it ain't a thing. He asks for information on renowned gang members and he is told everything. 1. Even if he could beat [them] with his karate, they wouldn't bother with him a whole lot... the way he was acting in the movie, they would of found his body cut in pieces in a bag somewhere where his mom could find it or something. 2. These people (non-gang members) would not be giving information on gang members. They fear these gang members because they know that if the snitch, the gangsters will find out and kill them or something. Everyone in the barrio, even those not involved in a gang, look down upon the police and upon those who are snitches. This is a stupid, stupid movie made by ignorant whites and sellout Mexicans and Chicanos. I live in the barrio, and I know for one that this is not the way all of this would happen. This is definately another movie which erronously portrays the Mexican and Chicano experience in America. Oh God, and then some romance going on between that [gay] Jimmy and the Mexican chick, that is all Bull. The way that fool talks, it is so annoying. The stupid gangsters that actually thought that he was a gang member too... God, that was stupid, if they never knew about him and he wears [gay] clothing and hugs his books to his chest like a [gay person]. ..., please, please do not get this movie. Holding it down, straight from the REAL BARRIO, you know how it is. ANy of you people wanna learn about the barrio, come to my barrio. Peace...

I found this movie to quite disturbing, not
only for its extreme violence but for the
manner in which it exploits the Mexican American
culture in California. This movie not only
gives the world a skewed view of the culture
but also can be a bad influence to the youth
of the culture who are trying to find something
to identify with.

He he. This movie rocks! When the guns go off, well... they don't. They didnt use blanks, they just move the weapon then dub something in. Will be a cult classic. Tongue firmly in cheek.