Customer Reviews

Snowboard Academy [VHS]

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

If you're a Corey Haim fan you might enjoy this movie, if you're not, don't bother. This movie has terrible jokes and even more terrible acting. Corey Haim offers little justification for why the movie is so bad. I myself am I big Corey Haim fan, thus the reason I bought this movie. I highly recommmend that you rent this movie before even considering buying it. I didn't do this and now the movie just sits on the shelf never to be watched again.

Before seeing this movie, I thought "Chairman of the Board" starring Carrot Top was the finest motion picture this country had ever produced. That was before I found "Snowboard Academy" in a dumpster and decided to give it a view. First of all, who in the world would throw away a movie with Corey Haim, Jim Varney and Brigetite Nelson. This is the equivalent of putting Hasselhoff, Clay Aiken and Rockwell on the same album. Productivity in our world would stop because no one could stop listening to it.
This movie has everything you would ever want in a film. Hot snow boarding action, slapstick comedy, a dog, and a story that Mark Twain wishes he could write. I was on the edge of my seat one minute, hiding my eyes the next. This movie took me everywhere like my dad did when I was 19. You see kids, I had a lot of trouble learning to drive. Everytime I tried to turn I just kept going in a 360 until I finally passed out. I couldn't figure out when to stop turning the wheel. I eventually got that figured out with a special helmet, but back to the movie. Jim Varney is scrumtrulescent in this film. Let's just say Jim Carrey is the poor man's Jim Varney. Carrey can screw around with his face, but Varney does it with Pinache. And Corey Haim, are you kidding me. How people bought into Tom Cruise in this country and not Corey Haim is why many people want to move to Chile.
This movie is the top of the top of the shelf.

I am a snowboarder and I love snowboarding movies. I also like funny movies too, which is why I love this movie. At first I thought it would be very boring, but I was wrong. After I first saw it I rented it about 15 times (no joke) and I decided to buy it. It is a great movie, and all my snowboarding pals love it, but I do suggest renting it before you buy it.

The late Corey Haim gets top billing in this alleged comedy on the slopes but he's not even the star of his own movie. That would be the late Jim Varney who's most famous for playing 'Ernest' in tons of crappy movies. Rounding out the cast is Brigitte Nielsen whose career has been dead for a while now. It was her and Haim that drew me to this film. Never again will I allow myself to be lured by 80s icons. If you actually watch the whole thing, and you're like me, you'll ask yourself one question: "Why do I torture myself like this?" Hopefully we'll find the answer soon enough so we don't have to endure catastrophes like this again.

Chris, a.k.a. "The Wizard" (Haim) is the rebellious son of a resort owner (Joe Flaherty) whose other son, the uptight resort manager, he's constantly clashing with. Desperate to save his once successful resort, Flaherty gets talked into a "business plan" by the Wizard that would allow snowboarders to ride the slopes for the first time ever. Wizard is convinced this will draw larger crowds to the resort as well as boost equipment sales. His brother loathes the idea. After an unsuccessful sabotage mission he challenges Wizard to a race between his skiers and the Wizard's snowboarders. If the snowboarders win they can stay. Sounds thrilling don't it? If you can handle more excitement there's Varney in full on slapstick mode which calls for him to be injured every way possible. This includes being electrocuted, set on fire, getting frozen in the ice, run over by a snowplow and all kinds of other painful stuff. Last but not least there's Nielsen as the boys' gold digging step-mom. Hoping to get her hands on Flaherty's nonexistent fortune she, along with male staffers she's seduced, launches her own sabotage mission. Oh no! Two sabotage missions at the same time - will the resort survive? Who cares. Haim is a background character at best leaving the spotlight all to Varney. Believe me his schtick gets tiring real quick. It's no picnic listening to him for 80 some odd minutes. Nielsen on the other hand is kinda fun as a seductress. I've always found her sexy, so needless to say I enjoyed her gratuitous cleavage shots even though they're totally inappropriate for a PG rated film. Oh well, in my opinion Nielsen and her chest are the only things worth seeing in this movie.

I bought this video to take on a snowboarding trip with some friends. I fully expected it to be bad, but I thought it would be the kind of bad movie where you can still have a good time making fun of how bad it is, like on "Mystery Science Theatre 3000."

I was wrong.

The thing about all those MST3K movies is, they take themselves seriously, so mocking them is worthwhile. This movie doesn't take itself seriously -- it actually has the gall to think it's funny. But it is not. Now, when I say this movie is not funny, I don't mean it appeals only to certain sensibilities and tastes; I mean it is just empirically NOT FUNNY. The dialogue is stilted, the characters are idiots reading their lines, the snowboarding is lame, and the jokes, such as they are, misfire. Example: Varney, applying for a job with ski patrol, is told he will have to "wear two hats," working as both a PR man and also a safety consultant. He replies that he has lots of hats, and demonstrates by putting a sombrero on his head. Ha, ha. Maybe someone like Jim Carrey could breathe life into jokes this moronic, but Varney can't.

After the hat joke (which came only about 15 minutes into the movie) I had had enough, and rewound the tape. My VCR ate it. Normally, that would have angered me, but in this case, I think the VCR was just trying to help.

This is one for my collection.
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Shopping from home never gets any better than this folks.
Thanks Amazon

This DVD was a huge disappointment. I have loved Ernest's clean humor so was shocked by this one. There was so much swearing and ludeness that I turned it off and threw it away!

I didn't see the DVD version of this even though I have it on DVD but I'll rate the movie any way. Yes, I did buy this on DVD solely because Jim Varney is in it and I'm a huge fan. Even though this movie falls flat most of the time, Varney is the only one I wanted to see. Bless him, he always gave 110% to a role regardless of how crappy the script might be. (So far, the only crappy script was in this movie.) His character, 'Rudy James' does pull some Ernest-esque type stunts but without the Ernest charm I love so much. However, when Rudy slipped and started sliding in the snow, screaming like Ernest, and ended up crashing head first into a tree, I accidentally blurted out "Poor Ernest" before I could stop myself. I don't like pigeon-holing a character and I never did until then. I've come to realize that movies with very little heart, no strong moral foundation, foul language and sexual content don't do well for Varney. He was a stunning and brilliant actor but deep down I don't think he was ever meant to be in these types of movies. I think because in real life it was because Varney was a really sweet, down-to-earth, unpretentious man. Varney is hilarious in this movie and he has a great singing voice when he was entertaining customers at the bar. I found myself just going back to that scene and listening over and over again. I was ticked, however, when they cut away to show a scene between the bartender and the son of the owner of the resort(Flaherty). I was quite content on listening to Jim sing. True Varney fans(like myself) might want this one, but if you're not a fan, leave it. Even being a fan of Varney's, I couldn't give this movie high marks.

Snowboard Academy was a fun, silly movie staring Jim Varney. As with all Jim Varney movies it was alot of fun to watch!

This movie is so funny,the first time I saw it was laughing my head off!Jim Varny is a exellent commiedest,and any of these fine actors in here should have been given an award.