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So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope 2nd ed. Edition

5 out of 5 stars 14 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0620430302
ISBN-10: 0620430303
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 308 pages
  • Publisher: Porcupine Press trading under DGR Writing & Resear; 2nd ed. edition (January 27, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0620430303
  • ISBN-13: 978-0620430302
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,168,122 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Top Customer Reviews

This is an amazing, poignant book that will make you laugh and cry as you go with Tertia on her sometimes heartbreaking journey through infertility. The book, adapted from her very popular and wonderful blog, "So Close," is not just for people who have suffered infertility, stillbirth, miscarriage, or the death of an infant. It's for every parent who has had or is thinking of having a baby. It's so important for people who have never grappled with infertility to know what others are going through, and for those of us who have been there know we are not alone. The best thing about it? Tertia's story ends triumphantly.
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This is a beautifully written, hilarious and heartbreaking memoir. Sure, it's about infertility and would be a great choice if you or someone you love is grappling with that. You'll definitely be cheered, inspired, and you'll learn a lot. But I haven't had fertility problems and neither has anyone I am close to. I was nevertheless delighted to discover the acerbically funny Tertia and to go through her long, agonizing journey to motherhood with her. You'd think a memoir like this would be all warm and fuzzy mixed with earnest longing and sadness. You know, important, good for you, but ultimately kind of deadly. Not with Tertia as narrator, all prickly bad attitude with Chardonnay in hand and wisecrack at the ready. Somehow she manages to be snarky and sincere at the same time--how perfect is that? "So Close" is just a terrific book, funny and tragic, full of hope and, ultimately, joy. You'll wish, like I do and like her thousands of blog fans do, that she didn't live so far away (South Africa) so she could be your BFF.
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If you are going through fertility treatments (or have a loved one doing so) and you plan to read one infertility memoir this should be the one! Here are just a few of the reasons:
- Well-written and professionally edited (many other fertility memoirs are neither of these)
- Dreadfully honest but with surprising humor
- Plenty of pointers and treatment explanations for friends and family of anyone suffering infertility - practically a Miss Manners column of fertility etiquette
- The author and her husband endured nearly every treatment and tragedy during their journey. Therefore this book can acquaint you with just about any scenario you may experience on your own journey to build a family.
- The author and her husband did ultimately build their family and so you will not lose your will to carry on trying when you read this one!

I have read plenty of other infertility memoirs from the woman's perspective including: "Waiting for Daisy" by Peggy Orenstein (a great book), "The Empty Picture Frame" by Jenna Nadeau (good but poorly edited and positively humorless), "Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova (probably not a realistic example for most women with real fertility issues), "A Few Good Eggs" by Julie Vargo and Maureen Regan (funny but less a story than a how-to). "So Close" was hands-down my favorite.
(If you're looking for something from the male perspective I recommend the brilliant "The Brotherhood of Joseph" by Brooks Hansen - SO SO SO much better than "Maybe Baby" by Matthew Miller.)
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...and I immediately recognized a friend who not only had "been there done that" before me, but who survived to tell the tale with wit, compassion, and an amazingly generous spirit. Many women undergoing the trauma of infertility (and the emotional roller-coaster of repeated IVF treatments) suffer in secrecy, feeling a sense of shame and loneliness in their pursuit of a dream that seems so easy for others, and yet, so inexplicably unattainable. This isolation makes the experience even more depressing and debilitating. Thank God for Tertia, and others like her, who are willing to bare their souls to a public audience, and let the pain, as well as the hope of the infertility journey, illumine the way for others. In the process of sharing her deeply affecting personal story, Tertia also reveals her indomitable courage, her wry sense of humor, and her unflinching honesty (which refuses to be sugar-coated with platitudes and magical thinking). I felt less alone the minute I began reading her story, and bought her book as soon as it became available. I highly recommend "So Close" for anyone who wants to experience an honest, refreshing memoir which rings with hope, even in the midst of circumstances that could lead to despair. Her story is not just for infertiles, but I can vouch that those who have shared that particular sorrow (whether for one cycle or ten) will find in Tertia a funny, empathetic, and insightful friend.
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Simply put, this is a great read even for those without fertility issues and a must read for those that do.
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I've read this book about three times in the last three years. Tertia's wit never loses its appeal. But what shines through most of all is her amazing courage in the face of unimaginable adversity. She shares her pain, her frustration and her desperation so skillfully that anyone, not only infertiles, can relate completely. I highly recommend "So Close".
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Moving, heart wrenching, hilarious, shamelessly hounest.

A must read for to all affected by infertility, directly or indirectly. Had me spellbound, laughing and crying and sometimes not quite knowing whether I should be laughing or crying or both. What is that emotion that sits between laughter and crying anyway? Read the book and find out.

So Close traces and follows the intricate labyrinth of emotions associated with infertility and puts words in those wordless spaces where most of us are too shocked, embarrassed or dumbstruck to utter anything coherently meaningful.

Definitely the most fun book (on a less that fun subject) out there.
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