So Hard to Say [Paperback]

Alex Sanchez (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 25, 2006

When Frederick shows up at school, Xio is thrilled. The new boy is shy, cute, and definitely good boyfriend material. Before long, she pulls him into her lively circle of friends.

Frederick knows he should be flattered by Xio's attention. After all, she's popular, pretty, and a lot of fun. So why can't he stop thinking about Victor, the captain of the soccer team, instead?

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 6-9–Thirteen-year-old Latina chocoholic-chatterbox Xio can't keep her eyes off blond-haired, steel-eyed Frederick, the intriguing transfer student just in from Wisconsin. At first, the soft-spoken newcomer, unsure of his new Southern California junior high and maybe his own sexuality, doesn't know what to make of her pursuits. Slowly and surely, Xio charms her way into his life and soon absorbs him into her group of fabulous girlfriends whom she dubs the "Sexies." Content with this new niche, and his position on a pick-up soccer team, Frederick gradually becomes aware of Xio's real agenda: to make him her first boyfriend. All the while he finds he can't keep his eyes off Victor, his soccer buddy. Frederick's sexual confusion escalates, as do his dodging techniques when it comes to Xio's advances. However, when she gets him in a closet with her and at last gives him a smooch, things boil up to crises. Adventurous, multifaceted, funny, and unpredictably insightful, Sanchez's novel drops melodramatic pretense and gels well-rounded characterizations with the universal excitement of first love. The action is described through chapters that alternate between Frederick and Xio's points of view, and both voices ring true. The author deftly presents portraits of a boy teetering on the brink of reinvention who must grapple against his own fears that he might be gay and the girl–a high-spirited character whom readers definitely won't forget–who wants him.–Hillias J. Martin, New York Public Library
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

Gr. 5-8. Most young adolescents routinely agonize over questions like "Who am I?" and "What am I?" Sometimes, as Sanchez dramatizes in this story of emotional exploration, the answers are difficult to discover. Newly arrived in California, eighth-grader Frederick meets and becomes friends with a girl named Xio. When Xio develops a major crush on Frederick, their relationship takes an awkward turn with Frederick finding it hard to reciprocate Xio's feelings because he's attracted to a boy. Is he gay? Can a boy and a girl be "just" friends? By alternating between Xio's and Frederick's first-person point of view, Sanchez does a good job of exploring both the evolution of their tangled emotions and the nature of friendship. Ultimately, Xio emerges as the more interesting character, since Frederick is burdened by a bundle of stereotypes: he's asthmatic, dotes on interior decoration, is a neat freak, etc. Nevertheless, Sanchez understands the inner lives of kids and, in writing one of the few middle-grade novels on this aspect of sexual identity, he does a service for questioning youth. Michael Cart
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers (April 25, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416911898
• ISBN-13: 978-1416911890
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #172,728 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #84 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Children's Books > People & Places > Multicultural Stories > Hispanic & Latino

More About the Author

I'm an immigrant, born in Mexico City. My family moved to the U.S. when I was five. I always loved writing, but had a hard time finishing projects.

It wasn't until I reached out for the help of some friends that I was able to complete my first novel, RAINBOW BOYS. Life lesson: seek out people who believe in you and will help build your confidence.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An eighth-grader's odyssey of self-discovery, October 8, 2004

By 

RaabH "Rob" (USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: So Hard to Say (Hardcover)

This novel fills an important niche in young-adult literature, telling the story of one boy's coming out experience through his own eyes and from the perspective of one of his close friends at school. Frederick is just starting the eighth grade as a new student at a California middle school. During his first week he meets Xio, a girl of Mexican descent who is immediately attracted to his "kick-butt blue eyes and sandy blond hair spiked in front." Xio and her girlfriends welcome Frederick into their circle, with Xio clearly thinking of him as boyfriend material. But what does Frederick himself want? At first even he is not sure.

Alex Sanchez writes "So Hard To Say" using the alternating viewpoints of his two main characters, Xio and Frederick. Their individual voices are distinct and go a long way toward establishing them as vivid, identifiable people. Xio is outgoing, sometimes brash. Frederick is circumspect, more shy around boys than he is with girls. He also becomes confused as he realizes that Xio is gradually turning up the heat, trying to nudge him into becoming a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone who causes a different kind of confusion for Frederick is Victor, the charismatic boyfriend of one of the girls in Xio's circle. Frederick doesn't quite know what to make of the easygoing attention he gets from Victor, who like many of the boys at Frederick's new school is not afraid to be physically affectionate with another guy. Victor regularly throws his arm around Frederick, nudges into him when they're walking together, puts him into playful headlocks, and at one point even picks him up to throw him onto a bed. As time passes, Frederick finds himself thinking more and more about Victor. He is fascinated by how the other boy's muscular build contrasts with his own, slighter one, and he frames a photograph of the two of them togther and places it at his bedside. He even allows Victor to call him by a nickname ("Rico"), something that nobody else is allowed to do. At first Frederick rationalizes his interest in Victor by noting that other boys at the school also defer to him. It is not until later that Frederick comes to realize that his own feelings go to different depths than theirs.

A peripheral character for most of the story is Iggy, another boy at Frederick's school who is rumored to be gay. Frederick overhears how others talk about Iggy and watches as they treat him like an outcast, so his own initial reaction is one of keeping a wary distance. All the same, he is fascinated by Iggy's dimpled smile and feels mysteriously drawn to him. What keeps him from acting on those feelings is mainly the fear of being thought of as gay himself.

Of course, with pressure from Xio to be her boyfriend and his feelings for Victor only becoming stronger, something in Frederick has to give. During the last part of the book he finally gets a chance to be honest with Xio and to come to terms with Iggy. The book ends on a hopeful note.

In the story teen readers will recognize many familiar artifacts from their own world -- computers, MTV, Playstation 2, instant messaging, email -- although, curiously, cell phones don't enter into the mix. Teens will also recognize many of the issues they themselves deal with in their everyday lives -- unrequited attraction, divorce, the challenge of how to balance the desire to be popular with your sense of what's right and wrong.

At times the character of Frederick tilts perilously close to that of the stereotypical weak, effeminate gay kid (he has "milky white skin", a "pouty mouth", suffers from asthema, and dabbles in interior design) but at the same time he is not afraid of sports and does quite well playing the goalie position in his first soccer game with Victor. I also like how the author takes the reader on a vivid tour of Mexican-American culture, making it a key part of the characters' lives. I think it is great that Wisconsin native Frederick is the odd man out, yet eagerly embraces the new experiences that his California friends offer as they welcome him into their lives.

Sexual content is limited to a scene of necking at the movies, some kissing between various boys and girls, and a kiss between two boys. Parents or teachers may want to discuss the book with very young readers as they make their way through, but I think most teens will be able to handle the material.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Funny, Revealing and Tender, November 30, 2004

By 

Raymond Rogers (Orlando, Florida USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: So Hard to Say (Hardcover)

I just can't say enough good things about Alex Sanchez. I have had the opportunity to meet the author on a few occasions as he swings through Orlando and I must say that getting to know his books is truly getting to know him.

Although his previous books have been about gay youth, this story moves back to junior high, reminding me of all the wonderfully painful moments and realizations made during that time. Fredrick and Xio are two brilliantly written characters who could walk right out of the book they seem so real. There is some very subtle humor written into the plot as Fredrick realizes he is gay and his friend Xio becomes more and more frustrated until the realization hits her as well. A story many of us know all too well. Although the book is written for a much younger audience, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the story, remembering my perspective as a 13 year old. I suspect there will be a follow up to this book as there are just too many possibilities for the transition of this cast as they move into high school.

I don't think I got as involved with this book as I did Rainbow Boys and Rainbow High, but again, it wasn't written with me in mind. I am looking forward to the follow up in the Rainbow series sometime next year.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Life as we know it........, January 31, 2006

By 

annmmar "ASMB" (Bronx, NY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: So Hard to Say (Hardcover)

Frederick has just moved to California from Wisconsin. His first day of school he meets Xio. They immediately become fast friends and she introduces him to her friends called "the sexies". As they become closer it is obvious that Xio wants to be more than friends. Frederick likes her but for some reason he is not feeling the same attraction. So starts this book where one of the main characters (Frederick) battles back and forth wondering why I am not attracted to this young lady but yet when he sees one of his classmates Victor he daydreams about him. It is a coming of age book where each individuals have to face grown up facts. Frederick that this feeling he has makes him a strong candidate of being homosexual, and Xio who has to come to terms with her father leaving the family and her father too possibly being gay. Great read.