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So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us

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Review by Jill Williamson

I love Beth Moore. I've never met her, but I've done several of her Bible studies and had the privilege of attending one of her conferences. The woman inspires me. Why? Because she's real. She's suffered through life, just like the rest of us, and she refuses to let that define her. Praise Jesus for that! That, and her passion for studying the Word of God, draws me, and thousands of other women, to her like sheep to a shepherd. She is a disciple of Jesus. She teaches His truth in a wonderful, personal, life-changing way.

So when I saw this book, I knew I needed it. I've always had low self-esteem. And I am plagued by insecurity. The smallest little comment will send me into a spiral of woe. One example, I have the nasty habit of interpreting faces. I can read minds, too, you know. If someone looks at me funny, I know I did something to make them upset with me, and I can't stand it until I know everything is okay again. I've also trained myself to interpret email tones. I entertain my husband every time I read an email to him. He says I read every word with a negative, attacking tone, as if the author has a personal agenda against me--or someone.

One of my husband's most telling phrases is: It must be exhausting being you.

Well, ouch.

But he's right. It is exhausting being so insecure. I don't mean to do this to myself. And I'm tired of it. And a bit ticked off, as Beth was in the beginning of her book. Having read the book, I will say that I now have confidence that I can beat this thing. Insecurity distracts our minds from living the life God intends for us. It keeps us weak instead of strong. It keeps us distant instead of loving. It keeps us judging instead of reaching out and building lasting friendships.

Once again, Beth Moore has inspired me. I'm saying, "So long, Insecurity! You don't own this girl!" Whoo hoo! Now that's something to get excited about. If you've ever felt insecure, sit down and talk it out with Beth. And that's exactly what this book was. A nice, long, heart to heart with Beth Moore about a topic that plagues us. I highly recommend it.

I've received so much benefit from Beth Moore's Bible studies, particularly her studies of Esther and David.

But, I didn't find this book to be helpful. In my opinion, there isn't enough content here to justify a book.

The first half of the book discusses seven factors that contribute to women struggling with insecurity: instability in the home, significant loss, rejection, life change events such as a move, contemporary culture, and pride/perfectionism.

I was frustrated by the fact that these chapters consisted largely of anecdotes from Beth's friends and readers of her blog. Beth referred to having done "research" for these chapters, but that research wasn't evident in her writing. Missing from these chapters was any sort of in-depth analysis of the seven issues.

The second half of the book stresses the importance of finding our security in God. This is so true and is certainly worth stating again and again! But missing from the chapters was the rich interweaving of Scripture and practical application material that I've come to expect from Beth's teaching. Again, anecdotes came at the expense of depth and exposition.

However, there was one chapter in the book that really spoke to me - Chapter 8, A Beautiful Prize Called Dignity. This chapter contains a study of Proverbs 31:25, a verse that Beth beautifully revisits at the end of the book. This chapter represents Beth Moore at her best and is why I so value her teaching.

Finally, Beth briefly touches on the importance of discernment with respect to the contemporary culture. This material was intriguing, but was an aside so could not be presented in detail. I would love to see Beth pick up this topic in future teaching.

Bottom line: for me, the book didn't live up to the high standard Beth has set in her earlier teaching.

Today Beth Moore's newest book titled "So Long Insecurity: You've been a bad friend to us" is released in stores. I had the privilege of previewing the book. Beth says in the opening of this book that this is as close to an autobiography as she's ever written. Her humble and open heart is spilled out on every page as she openly shares her own insecurities.


Beth defines insecurity plain and simply: "not secure". Then she goes further in each chapter digging down into the depths of insecurity from self-doubt to perfectionism to preoccupation with self - she reveals many types of insecurities we all deal with.

She reminds us that all we have to do is be born on planet earth to be insecure. A host of troubles are common to humankind. We should be careful who we covet or who we judge as "having it all". Nobody has everything! We think - well if I had that house or that body or that pretty face or that fabulous man or that degree I'd be secure too. But what we are saying is money, beauty, a great man, or prestige will make us secure. That is all false!

At one point she says "women use men like mirrors" to see if they are okay. In our media saturated culture, the bar for beauty has been raised to a standard that our grandma's did not have to deal with!

So what do we do with all these insecurities? Psalm 29:11 says "The Lord gives his people strength; the Lord grants his people security." There is nothing secure in this world - we must cling to Jesus for our strength and security. This book is a great reminder of God's truth on security.

Walk with the King!
Courtney
[...]

Although I am a huge fan of Beth Moore's work, I was hoping for more with this book. It was very conversational with a similar message in each chapter. I kept waiting for a solution from scripture reinforced with a list of steps to take toward finding our security in Christ. I was probably simply looking for something that this book was not aimed for. I wanted a new book for my bible study group and had done a "Significance" book in the past that was very heavy, yet very effective, so was looking for a lighter version of that. That being said, I would have loved to see more of a focus on scripture and the answers we can find by finding our significance in Christ with reinforcement from the word. I adore Beth's bible studies and am a Protestant leading small groups in a Catholic environment, I have seen many lives transformed through Beth's teaching. A side note would have been another cover option. Comments from the group were "it's hard to read about security when the author appears flawless". For this type of subject, because Beth is so beautiful, I would have chosen a graphic or something generic/neutral for the cover. Everyone in the group took off the book sleeve...

I attended Beth's simulcast, "So Long, Insecurity!" this past Saturday along with 300,000 women across hundreds of locations in the United States. Her presentation did not cover all the points of the book but was meant to augment it. To the extent that it is useful to you, here is a summary from my notes.

Beth encouraged us to say "So Long, Insecurity" and to choose to be SECURE based on the God's character and love... her talk was based on Ephesians 4:17-5:2 (which you may want to read before reading the rest of the comments if you'd like to see the scriptural basis for her observations)... she noted there are...

Six characteristics of a SECURE woman...

S ~ Saved from Herself ~ Insecurity represents "self curved in on itself" a form of pride that is the foundation of all sin because when we are insecure we are looking at everybody and everything based upon how it relates to us. Security on the other hand comes when we are filled with God's Spirit and our thoughts are going up and out of ourselves. Beth encouraged us to move away from selfish and self-absorbed thinking.

E ~ Entitled to Truth ~ Perfectionism is insecurity in art form said Beth as she noted that apart from God we live in futile thinking that darkens our understanding, separates us from God, hardens our hearts, makes us insensitive, and then we give ourselves over to sensuality, indulgence and greed. We must turn to Christ, to His truth, to be free from insecurity.

C ~ Clothed with Intention ~ As the Proverbs 31 woman is clothed with strength and dignity, we too are clothed with intention ... as we have been taught, Beth exhorted us to keep on doing it. She noted we need to make up our mind to purposefully put off the old self and its way and instead walk in our new self ... it takes will, strength, and the Lord's power to say, "Whoa, that was the old me" and to stop and walk in newness. Beth says our mind needs to choose to think securely, then we need to act securely, and FINALLY our emotions will follow. She noted that we can either be corrupted by our old mind or renewed by our new mind.

U ~ Upended by Grace ~ Beth told us that insecurity drives our bitterness toward others (unforgiveness and taking offense). We are new creatures in God who have received God's grace and forgiveness and can now lead lives of kindness and compassion as we offer grace and forgiveness to others. Hebrews 10:22 says, "Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart (come as we are) in full assurance of faith (faith alone, not works), having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience (purity comes from confession and repentance) and having our bodies washed with pure water." Beth shared with us that if we will recognize the grace which God washes us clean, we too can then freely give that grace to others. She noted that choosing the old self of unforgiveness is like eating a tapeworm that will eat all of the nutrition that we glean from the word of God.

R ~ Rebounded by Love ~ We are God's dearly loved children, and Beth asked how different would our lives would be if we took every step believing this deeply. She said that when we have hurts in our hearts that we don't allow God's love to heal, then our hearts become hardened. Beth told us that fully assimilating God's dear love for us is what will allow us to truly love others, to truly give, to truly live without needing to have them love us back (or to give us any other thing like value, worth, or affirmation) ... God's plan is that God's love is sufficient for all of our needs.

E ~ Exceptional in Life ~ God created us to be women, to have significance, and to receive His love. Beth noted that as we embrace these truths of His plan, then we can truly live exceptional lives, where we are the exception (living securely in God's love) not the expectation (set by culture to beat us down for not measuring up).

May you have a blessed day ~ Bon Appetit!

I love all of Beth Moore's bible studies, and I've done many of them. They are so well-organized and biblical. I have read a few of Beth's books and always read only half-way through....never have finished one yet. This book has truth in its pages, but lacks scriptural encouragement I find studying. At least she is candid and allows women opportunity to realize they're not alone in the realm of insecurity. We can all relate to something here. But, again, I put the book down about midway and didn't finish it. Not enough to hold my interest or to chew on, spiritually-speaking.

I have been a huge fan of Beth Moore over the years. Her Bible Studies have always helped to push my walk with the Lord right along. I have never been disappointed by any of Beth Moore's books or studies.

So Long, Insecurity was no different. I will be vulnerable and say that I am a woman who suffers from insecurity. It is because of my stupid insecurity that I have not pursued all kinds of dreams. It was the fear of failure or inadequacy that cripled me. For this reason, I was beyond thrilled when I saw that Beth Moore wrote an entire book on the subject. We women have got to get control of ourselves and live the lives that God intended for us. Lives that are full of confidence, security, and love for the One who created us.

Beth starts the book by pointing what a terrible epidemic insecurity is for most women, and men too! I spent most of that part saying, "Yep, yep, and yep!" She then points out seven factors that contribute to women's insecurity, such as contemporary culture or past abuse. The books ends with how to walk away from insecurity, leave it in the dark, and walk into the arms of Jesus.

So Long, Insecurity is written in Beth Moore's typical familiar style. You almost feel like you are talking to a good friend over a good cup of coffee. She provides tons of anecdotes that make all the insecurity talk make sense. My one complaint about this book is that she does not use as much scripture as I have grown accustomed to expecting from her. When I open a Beth Moore book I expect to dive into scripture, be guided through, and to be changed on the other side. I gleaned a lot from this book but I missed Beth's typical use of scripture.

I would recommend this book as a way to introduce the problem of insecurity and as a springboard to a deeper study of scripture.

Highly Recommended!

Note: I received this book from Tyndale House Publishers as a review copy and I have presented my honest opinion.

Beloved women's speaker and author Beth Moore's latest book, So Long, Insecurity (Tyndale), is her most personal book to date. Moore, who has helped countless ladies break free, get out of pits, and dive deep into Scripture with studies on Jesus, Paul, David, and Esther, is now combating a stronghold in the lives of many women--insecurity.

Moore describes So Long, Insecurity as "one woman's quest for a real, lasting, soul-changing security" in God, instead of finding that security in self or others. The first part of the book identifies insecurity by its roots stemming from instability in the home, a significant loss, rejection, dramatic change, personal limitations, personal disposition, our culture, and pride. Moore further explains these "roots of insecurity" and like always uses a ton of Scripture to build her case.

While the book magnifies a woman's vulnerabilities, particularly involving image, Moore urges women to "press through the discomfort" so that the reader no longer has to "live in denial and bondage." Being a woman who battles a ton of insecurity, I didn't just read So Long, Insecurity objectively; I took Moore's advice to heart. I saw myself in so many of her illustrations; I knew my heart was ready for a revolution.

Fortunately, Moore doesn't just identify and define all areas of insecurity and give us a look at a man's insecurities, she also offers practical advice saturated in Scripture that allows women to begin their journeys toward freedom. I cannot more highly recommend this book for every woman out there who hates her reflection in the mirror, who is exhausted from the illusion of perfectionism, who thinks she is unworthy of love, who was born on planet Earth.

So Long, Insecurity has tremendously impacted my life, the way I think about myself, and the way I know that God relates to me. Because of the life-changing content and prayer exercises, the book can take a while to read. But, remember, insecurity took years to take hold, so it won't just magically disappear overnight. Reading this book changed my life and had emboldened me to live a life secure in the love of God. If you are a captive in the prison of insecurity, then So Long, Insecurity is your key to freedom.

[FTC Disclosure:: Thank you to my fine friends at Tyndale House Publishers for hooking me up with a review copy of this marvelous book!]

I am reading this book along with blogging on the Living Proof Ministries (Beth's site) and have found the book very insightful. I never have considered myself insecure, but have found by reading this book that my insecurities are covered by my control issues. I would suggest this book to anyone.

This book is a must read for every woman in the world. It's so awesome it's like taking a trip but not having to leave your house. You'll learn so much about yourself and feel so incredibly lifted. Quoting from the book, you'll be "clothed in strength and dignity." Thank you, Beth Moore for this wonderful eye opening book.