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So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead Paperback – October 1, 2010


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or œzed,  lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh ( œIf you experience an extreme freeze... your extremities should continue to function until they fall off ), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living ( œThe only thing more lethal than you is you on fire! ). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"An excellent choice for the zombie completist."  —Kirkus Reviews



“This book is a total blast and a must-have for zombie fans! Grade A.” —Mania.com


“The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.” —Publishers Weekly


"Everything a new flesh eater needs to know about surviving in a world where you only want one thing: brains."  --Geek-span.com


"Brilliantly tongue-in-cheek. . . . A must for all fans of spoof manuals and zombies alike." —NY Journal of Books.com


"Explains everything a newly undead soul needs to hunt, fight and feed on the living." —Aolnews.com



"A parody with brains. . .  [the book] is just too funny to pass up." —NeoTokyoProject.com


"Austin's tongue-in-cheek humor perfectly compliments the subject matter." —ZombiePhiles.com 
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Chicago Review Press (October 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1569763429
  • ISBN-13: 978-1569763421
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #229,431 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John Austin worked as a senior toy designer in the Boy's Research and Development Department at Hasbro Toys. His principle area of expertise was the creative process of new product development. During his initial five years, he worked on popular brands like; Transformers, Star Wars, Iron Man, Spiderman, Jurassic Park, Tonka and Gi Joe. Skilled in 3D computer modeling, illustration and creative thinking, he brings many of these talents to the creation of his book projects, as well as ever-increasing market awareness for each individual product he works on.

For more information, fun free content and downloads, visit johnaustinbooks.com

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 62 people found the following review helpful By T. T. Kiker on October 20, 2010
Format: Paperback
Another reviewer gave this book only a few stars based on the belief a Zombie could not read it and would never benefit from its wealth of useful information.

While this was once true, Zombies have evolved over time, and the old-school belief zombies still can't read is a myth. Zombies are somewhat intelligent, sensitive creatures (although, they might not seem sensitive by our preconceived human standards of sensitivity). While the loss of muscle tissue and some brain cells limit their communication abilities, they do think and are quite capable of following simple instructions, when they choose to (the activity MUST appear to benefit the Zombie in the long run, or you will receive little cooperation from them).
Even just a few years ago, it was believed that Zombie's still moved slowly and couldn't run, but we've all learned from some recent movies this is no longer the case. They simply have come to realize Humans (or Non-Zoms) tire easily when frightened and, in their fear of Zombies, make mistakes causing them to be more prone to capture, so there is simply no need to expel the energy needed to move quickly.

I'd highly recommend this book to any Zombie having issues coping with their current, un-dead condition. If there is a Zombie in your life with adjustment concerns, why not pick up a copy for him today?
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Robert D. Queen on October 24, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is sick by incredibly funny. I have no idea how many beers it took to come up with the idea for this book, but the writer did a great job! He covers every topic any zombie needs to know. It includes diagrams on the Zombie Food Pyramid - Human Hunting Techniques - What types of Animals to eat and which ones to avoid - Maslow's Law for Zombies - Decaying Flesh Preservation - The History of Zombies - Spreading of the Z Virus. Most importantly this book contains that Zombie Code which must be followed and is punishable by decapitation.

You need to read this book. Once I started reading I couldn't stop!
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37 of 46 people found the following review helpful By Dave Price on May 20, 2011
Format: Paperback
I had to take off a star for using the z-word. These kinds of ethnic slurs have no place in civilized discourse.

That said, this is a useful and timely reference for the underprivileged Undead-Americans that face so much racism, prejudice and discrimination in today's overwhelmingly living-supremacist society.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By ZombieFan on October 19, 2010
Format: Paperback
I thought this was a great new book considering all the zombie material out there as it has some of the most information available for how to make the most of Zombieism. We are putting on a live performance on Zombies and will use this as a sure tool to depict the most Zombie realism. The only thing missing is a picture only flash card tear away that I can wear around my neck to re-reference after we all become Zombies.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Stuart on April 3, 2011
Format: Paperback
From The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak to The Zombie Combat Manual there are a lot of guides to the undead depending on your point of view of how to deal with the zombie apocalypse. However you may also have noticed a recent trend in zombie novels that are being released - intelligent zombies. So with that being said John Austin has written a new type of guidebook for when the zombie apocalypse occurs. A guidebook for zombies.

Yes if you've recently woken up dead there is a good chance you'll end up with a copy of this handbook shortly after. Apparently they've been being printed in one form or another for YEARS! (Originally in blood on the flesh of their victims, kind of like the Necronomicon!) From how to hunt and how to keep your rotting corpse from quickly decomposing it's the ultimate hands on guide on how to live after you return from the dead craving nothing more than that wonderfully squishy gray matter. Yes that's right - brains.

Now the thing is adapting to a new body after reanimating can be a bit difficult. Your old fading memories and instincts will want to make you believe you can run, climb ladders, and all sorts of things! Fortunately practicality (or a copy of this guide) will quickly show you that all of these things are long in the past and you have to rely on your new and improved senses and strength to track down and kill dinner.
Read more ›
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Michelle @ In Libris Veritas on November 10, 2011
Format: Paperback
I found this to be a nice little original zombie 'handbook'. There are a lot out there for the humans in-case of the whole zombie apocalypse but there are few in the way of providing help for the zombies. I found it to be occasionally witty and for the most part pretty interesting. It's a super quick read and has a lot of pictures but of the 'serious' nature and few that kind of goofy.
Despite it's clearly goofy nature there a re few tidbits that humans can harvest for future use if need be...and let's hope that there is never the need.
Anyway it's a quick entertaining read for the zombie 'lover'.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Media Man VINE VOICE on March 21, 2012
Format: Paperback
[This review is based on an Advanced Reading Copy - 147 pages]

Published in 2010 and written by John Austin, "So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead" is a humor guide book for the recently reanimated. This handbook provides you with everything you need to know in order to track, hunt, eat and survive as a brain eating zombie (or "zed" as the author aptly names them). In addition your zombie brethren have compiled an extensive list of "breather" (living humans) behaviors that will ensure that you get your next tasty meal. Here are my thoughts on the clever but brief "So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead;"

Pros

+ Plenty of excellent and gory illustrations on how to combat and catch your human prey.

+ An abundance of witty tongue-in-cheek humor.

+ Clever ending.

+ Quick read.

Cons

- Cover price is a bit high for what you're getting.

- Too short.

"So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead" was a quick but amusing little read. It put a spin your average zombie survival book by switching the perspective to that of the zombie instead of the human. Approximately half of the book is filled with some really great and often gory illustrations of YOU (the zombie) in action. Needless to say I received quite a few "concerned" stares on my bus rides home from work while reading this book. Even though the book was a bit short and somewhat repetitive, the humor was quite amusing. If you're a huge zombie fan this book is worth a look, otherwise you could probably give it a skip.
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