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54 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Zombies CAN read!
Another reviewer gave this book only a few stars based on the belief a Zombie could not read it and would never benefit from its wealth of useful information.

While this was once true, Zombies have evolved over time, and the old-school belief zombies still can't read is a myth. Zombies are somewhat intelligent, sensitive creatures (although, they might not...
Published on October 20, 2010 by ihavewebfeet

versus
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Got bit? Well here's how to survive in that crazy new world!
From The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak to The Zombie Combat Manual there are a lot of guides to the undead depending on your point of view of how to deal with the zombie apocalypse. However you may also have noticed a recent trend in zombie novels that are being released - intelligent zombies. So with that being said John Austin has...
Published on April 3, 2011 by Stuart


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54 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Zombies CAN read!, October 20, 2010
By 
ihavewebfeet (Stone Mountain, GA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
Another reviewer gave this book only a few stars based on the belief a Zombie could not read it and would never benefit from its wealth of useful information.

While this was once true, Zombies have evolved over time, and the old-school belief zombies still can't read is a myth. Zombies are somewhat intelligent, sensitive creatures (although, they might not seem sensitive by our preconceived human standards of sensitivity). While the loss of muscle tissue and some brain cells limit their communication abilities, they do think and are quite capable of following simple instructions, when they choose to (the activity MUST appear to benefit the Zombie in the long run, or you will receive little cooperation from them).
Even just a few years ago, it was believed that Zombie's still moved slowly and couldn't run, but we've all learned from some recent movies this is no longer the case. They simply have come to realize Humans (or Non-Zoms) tire easily when frightened and, in their fear of Zombies, make mistakes causing them to be more prone to capture, so there is simply no need to expel the energy needed to move quickly.

I'd highly recommend this book to any Zombie having issues coping with their current, un-dead condition. If there is a Zombie in your life with adjustment concerns, why not pick up a copy for him today?
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Read - Funny - Must Have For The New Zombie, October 24, 2010
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This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
This book is sick by incredibly funny. I have no idea how many beers it took to come up with the idea for this book, but the writer did a great job! He covers every topic any zombie needs to know. It includes diagrams on the Zombie Food Pyramid - Human Hunting Techniques - What types of Animals to eat and which ones to avoid - Maslow's Law for Zombies - Decaying Flesh Preservation - The History of Zombies - Spreading of the Z Virus. Most importantly this book contains that Zombie Code which must be followed and is punishable by decapitation.

You need to read this book. Once I started reading I couldn't stop!
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36 of 45 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, if insensitive, May 20, 2011
By 
Dave Price "Avid Reader" (Franklin, WI United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
I had to take off a star for using the z-word. These kinds of ethnic slurs have no place in civilized discourse.

That said, this is a useful and timely reference for the underprivileged Undead-Americans that face so much racism, prejudice and discrimination in today's overwhelmingly living-supremacist society.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ultimate comprehensive Zombie guide, October 19, 2010
This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
I thought this was a great new book considering all the zombie material out there as it has some of the most information available for how to make the most of Zombieism. We are putting on a live performance on Zombies and will use this as a sure tool to depict the most Zombie realism. The only thing missing is a picture only flash card tear away that I can wear around my neck to re-reference after we all become Zombies.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Got bit? Well here's how to survive in that crazy new world!, April 3, 2011
By 
Stuart (Westmont, IL United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
From The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak to The Zombie Combat Manual there are a lot of guides to the undead depending on your point of view of how to deal with the zombie apocalypse. However you may also have noticed a recent trend in zombie novels that are being released - intelligent zombies. So with that being said John Austin has written a new type of guidebook for when the zombie apocalypse occurs. A guidebook for zombies.

Yes if you've recently woken up dead there is a good chance you'll end up with a copy of this handbook shortly after. Apparently they've been being printed in one form or another for YEARS! (Originally in blood on the flesh of their victims, kind of like the Necronomicon!) From how to hunt and how to keep your rotting corpse from quickly decomposing it's the ultimate hands on guide on how to live after you return from the dead craving nothing more than that wonderfully squishy gray matter. Yes that's right - brains.

Now the thing is adapting to a new body after reanimating can be a bit difficult. Your old fading memories and instincts will want to make you believe you can run, climb ladders, and all sorts of things! Fortunately practicality (or a copy of this guide) will quickly show you that all of these things are long in the past and you have to rely on your new and improved senses and strength to track down and kill dinner.

It seems that those pesky living humans just don't want to sit down and let you eat them and with their quicker mobility it takes a bit of extra effort to track them down, even when you have a horde of fellow brain eaters following you! In fact while it shows you how a horde can be useful to have at your back you do have to remember having that horde will leave less food for you to chew on so figuring out how to hunt alone is a very important train to pick up. On the other hand while you don't want to have any of your food wasted and taken by others you do want to keep the zombie horde growing strong and this shows the best examples of some of the living you may only want to wound, and why. Spreading the zombie virus can be an offensive weapon as well if you can injure someone and have them run back to their friends for help. It's only a matter of time while you shamble after them before they become one of your friends and cause enough of a distraction for you to follow them into their secure location for a nice snack.

While this is truly more comedy then horror there is a nice little horror styled `twist' at the end that all fans of the genre should fully appreciate! I know I got a kick out of it.

[Originally posted at BuyZombie.com]
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great compilation !!!, February 7, 2012
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This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
Great quality in printing, packing and service. Perfect to learn about all Zombies things. You never imagine all the important information. Every body wants to read it to understand the Zombies behavior... Congratulations !!!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars An entertaing and witty for the survival of your zombie self, November 10, 2011
This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
I found this to be a nice little original zombie 'handbook'. There are a lot out there for the humans in-case of the whole zombie apocalypse but there are few in the way of providing help for the zombies. I found it to be occasionally witty and for the most part pretty interesting. It's a super quick read and has a lot of pictures but of the 'serious' nature and few that kind of goofy.
Despite it's clearly goofy nature there a re few tidbits that humans can harvest for future use if need be...and let's hope that there is never the need.
Anyway it's a quick entertaining read for the zombie 'lover'.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars The best zombie humor book I've read so far, December 5, 2010
By 
Michele Lee (Louisville, KY) - See all my reviews
This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
Reviewed for Monster Librarian
So Now You're a Zombie is a book in vein of The Zen of Zombie and Z.E.O by Scott Kenemore, but rather than mix the undead and self help books it crams loads of in-jokes into a beginner's guide to zombies. While it's not necessarily a fiction book (there's no real story), it's not quite nonfiction either and often too grim to be pure humor.
What this book is, is a reflection of our current obsession with zombies and all the forms the zed stories have taken. Another must-have for the collections of zombie enthusiasts its also a good addition to public collection that cater to lots of zombie fans.
Contains: Violence, gory illustrations, bad puns
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars easy to read, amazing to enjoy!, January 11, 2013
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This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
This book was written with not only humor in mind, but the fact that some people really do believe in the "zombie apocalypse."

For those of you who remember the movie "Beetlejuice," there is a prop in it called "The Handbook for the Recently Deceased." If the writers of "So Now You're a Zombie" could have written the handbook, the Maitland's might have not had such a hard time adjusting to being ghosts.

Pros:
Funny illustrations and guides
Tongue-in-cheek humor with references to both modern and classic zombie lore
Surprising ending for the truly paranoid amongst us

Cons:
A bit too short (but sometimes brevity is the better form of humor)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Zombie, January 2, 2013
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This review is from: So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Paperback)
Funniest thing I've ever read! I sent mine to a friend in Brazil and he almost died laughing too, great gift.
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So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead
So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead by John Austin (Paperback - October 1, 2010)
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