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The Sociopath Next Door [Paperback]

Martha Stout
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (604 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 14, 2006
Who is the devil you know?

Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?

In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

[Dr.] Stout says that as many as 4% of the population are conscienceless sociopaths who have no empathy or affectionate feelings for humans or animals. As Stout (The Myth of Sanity) explains, a sociopath is defined as someone who displays at least three of seven distinguishing characteristics, such as deceitfulness, impulsivity and a lack of remorse. Such people often have a superficial charm, which they exercise ruthlessly in order to get what they want. Stout argues that the development of sociopathy is due half to genetics and half to nongenetic influences that have not been clearly identified. The author offers three examples of such people, including Skip, the handsome, brilliant, superrich boy who enjoyed stabbing bullfrogs near his family's summer home, and Doreen, who lied about her credentials to get work at a psychiatric institute, manipulated her colleagues and, most cruelly, a patient. Dramatic as these tales are, they are composites, and while Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting, this book occasionally appeals to readers' paranoia, as the book's title and its guidelines for dealing with sociopaths indicate.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"An outstanding audio production...it's nearly impossible to get away from it once you start listening." ---AudioFile
--This text refers to the MP3 CD edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Three Rivers Press (March 14, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0767915828
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767915823
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (604 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,892 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Martha Stout, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice, served on the faculty in psychology in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School for twenty-five years. She is also the author of "The Myth of Sanity" and "The Paranoia Switch." She lives on Cape Ann in Massachusetts.

Customer Reviews

This book will literally make you think about everyone you know in a different way! Fresca  |  152 reviewers made a similar statement
Very easy read book and very informative. Love to Learn  |  139 reviewers made a similar statement
"The Sociopath Next Door" by Dr. Martha Stout is a survival book for the rest of us! Brian Scott-Preston  |  90 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
808 of 831 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I've written many five-star reviews, but never have I been so motivated to try to convince everyone to read the book. Here's why: one in twenty-five Americans is a sociopath, a figure psychologist Martha Stout obtained from three journal articles and a U.S. government source. Assuming this premise of The Sociopath Next Door is correct, or even if the figure is say one in 50, odds are you know at least one sociopath. He or she could be an abusive partner, the person in the next cubicle at work, your landlord, or the person your teenager is dating. Even if you can't think of sociopath you know, you have high odds of encountering one. Given the havoc even one sociopath can wreak in one's life, this book provides a sort of insurance that you'll be able to identify him or her and deal with that person so they don't harm you emotionally, financially, or in any other way. This is a well-written and well-researched book that I think will benefit the 96% of you who are not sociopaths.

To gain the benefits of "sociopath insurance" there are three portions of the book I believe are crucial for you to read: (1) the discussion of what is a sociopath along with her stories illustrating the different types of sociopaths, (BTW, those stories would make fine literary short stories with Stout's descriptive language and suspense building.) (2) Stout's "Thirteen Rules For Dealing With Sociopaths in Everyday Life", and (3) the discussion of how good people with consciences end up allowing sociopathic leaders to rise to power and do horrific acts. If you read just these sections and skip all the philosophical discussions about sociopaths, you will still gain a lot from this book.

One of the first topics covered is what a sociopath is.
... Read more ›
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199 of 206 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The evil among us... April 23, 2007
Format:Paperback
This text is a lucid study of those individuals who seem to be born without a moral conscience, and as Stout elegantly points out throughout this narrative, one in twenty-five Americans are considered sociopath, causing havoc, heartache, destroyed careers, and the death of many people either directly or indirectly.

The single argument in this highly accessible thesis, the one that is down-right astonishing, (though not so after reading the reasons why) is that most of us "instinctively" know when there is a sociopath in our midst, but more often refuse to intellectually or rationally call them for what they are...why? The reason is that we would prefer to believe that the human being is fundamentally good, and pure evil is something rare or something beyond our day to day reality. On the contrary, there are people who move through their lives without a hint of guilt for their acts of harm.

The sociopath's motivation is ultimately selfish and life for them is one big game, a contest about winning at any cost. This is a frightening notion, but after reading this book, you will more than likely recognize someone in your past or currently in your life that has all the characteristics of a sociopath, and come to understand how and why your life is not the way it should be going and the reason for your general unhappiness.

Martha Stout's "composite" case histories are enlightening as she presents us with varied `types' of sociopaths from the homicidal & verbally abusive to the dead beat and covert destroyer of many lives.

One of the more interesting sociopath profiles is the case of "Dr." Doreen Littlefield, a psychologist working at a reputable hospital. Doreen isn't beautiful but has a good body and uses it to her advantage.
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533 of 564 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Lyrical, engaging, astonishing and useful book. February 9, 2005
Format:Hardcover
Stout writes with striking lyric sensitivity and grace about those who have no ability to feel love, remorse, guilt, or joy. Oddly these are some of the most engaging people we will ever meet. Sociopaths, Stout tells us, are as ordinary as a virus. An intimate association with a sociopath carries its own warranty of being a party to a train wreck. Sociopaths can feign every kind of emotion; yet they know but feral pleasures. Sociopaths find rewards in the hunt. Their joys are in conquest and winning. They understand love, but can't feel it. Hence, sociopaths are condemned like the Flying Dutchman of legend to cruise the shoals of real emotion as distant observers, never finding the safe harbor of family, lasting friendship, or love. Stout's work is especially useful for victims. Those who have experienced a sociopath-- a neighbor who seems to thrive on a campaign of sabotaging our relationships and those of our children, a family member who never feels remorse, a boss who takes odd pleasure in demeaning workers and takes credit for our best ideas, a lover who can never be wholly pleased, but works instead to bedevil-- will recognize Stout's finely etched portraits. From this riveting book we can now know the distressing ordinariness of our experience. There is always comfort in finding a name for what is rightfully seen as an unsettling; or, as it is in some sociopathic iterations ---[eg, the Ted Bundys of the world]-- a terrifying encounter. For the rest of us, this book is a graceful, haunting, and carefully crafted admonition that evil is all too common; and it is carried within those charming, bright, accomplished, seductive, and dangerous people we all know, or will.... Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book - good service
I was familiar with the book from a borrowed copy and needed my own copy quickly. The Amazon service and book condition were as stated, prompt and efficient . Read more
Published 3 days ago by Dawn Danby
5.0 out of 5 stars Sooooooo enlightening
This book will give you insight to how a sociopath works , they are more common then you think , very , very good book!
Published 4 days ago by Cheryl Welch-Goff
5.0 out of 5 stars I bought for a friend
I just loved this book, it hit the nail on the head for so many people that are hard to understand. I bought it for a friend after
reading it.
Published 4 days ago by Joyce H. Levine
2.0 out of 5 stars Grain of Salt
I agree that there are some pretty scary people in this world. I agree that there are mean people in this world. I agree that there are toxic people in this world. Read more
Published 5 days ago by D. Roberson
5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book.
This book has helped me to understand a man at my workplace who has been harassing me for more than 10 years. Read more
Published 6 days ago by Autumn
4.0 out of 5 stars Informative
Martha Stout does a great job of presenting sociopathic tendencies in an easy to read and digestible way. Read more
Published 7 days ago by Tran Si
4.0 out of 5 stars Explains a lot
This work clearly lays out how a sociopath goes through life and the toll he takes on the people in his life.
Published 10 days ago by Frances C. Yancey
2.0 out of 5 stars Look elsewhere
This book was quite badly written and needed a strong editor. Don't waste your time. Find another book with more substance.
Published 13 days ago by Happy Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars A real eye-opener!
Excellent book. Quick reading with very interesting facts. Really gets you thinking! Helps you identify sociopaths and gives you tips on how to stay away from them, or how to deal... Read more
Published 13 days ago by Sh0kR0k
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening read
This book explained relationships I couldn't understand. An excellent "eye opener" for those of us who always look for the best in people. Read more
Published 15 days ago by Crow Johnson Evans
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