Customer Reviews

The Soft Addiction Solution

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Judith Wright's book is a must for anyone who's been looking for a way to add more "good stuff" (like time, money, and love) to their life while getting rid of the bad habits (like overeating, procrastinating, too much TV) that get in the way of them. I've personally discovered how much time I've wasted playing computer games and sitting in front of the TV. Not to mention the unconscious eating I've done. I've lost 35 pounds without trying just by paying attention to what goes in my mouth rather than mindlessly munching.
And it's not about deprivation - it's about adding things that are more nourishing than computer solitaire or too much food. So I feel more satisfied rather than less and filled up rather than overstuffed.
As a physician, I see the effects of our Soft Addictions all day, every day. I can't recommend this book highly enough.

The concepts in this book are good, but if you are buying it, you are probably aware of the major concepts to a large extent. This book preaches to the converted and doesn't have all that much new to say to them. In condensed form, it would probably make an excellent magazine article, but the author's own goals of marketing and self-promotion unfortunately sabotage much of the merit of this book.

The good:
- The main idea: soft addictions, i.e. mindless routines and unproductive behaviors, consume a lot of time in most people's lives and rob us of time for doing things that would make us happier.
- The explanation: people resort to soft addictions when they can't deal with emotions such as anxiety, hurt, etc., or as an attempt to satisfy a a yearning they can't identify. This is probably the greatest strength of the book, as most people who realize they have soft addictions tend to blame themselves for being so "stupid" without understanding what drives them to the behavior.
- The (broad) solution: identify the deeper hunger that drives each addiction and try to find a way to satisfy it by a meaningful and fulfilling activity.

The bad:
- If you buy a book called "The Soft Addiction Solution", you probably have a good idea what soft addictions are and that you have them. The book, however, spends several chapters trying to get you to "discover" that you have soft addictions and how much time (and/or money) they are costing you.
- Despite its name, the book offers few concrete solutions. In fact, a more apt title would be "The Soft Addiction Problem". Once you understand the concept that soft addictions arise from a vague deeper yearning for something meaningful, you are pretty much on your own to discover what that yearning is in your particular case, and how to satisfy it better. The author does give some examples, but many of them are rather vague and corny (for example, possible yearnings could be "to be seen", "to matter", "to love and be loved"). Ultimately, you will be asked to reflect and journal (if you like that sort of thing) to figure out what your particular "spiritual hungers" are, and what activities will help you to fulfill those.

The ugly:
- The writing style is half rambling and half self-promotion. The author has, for marketing purposes no doubt, coined a few phrases such as "soft addiction", "the One Decision", and "living a life of MORE" (yes, in caps), which she relentlessly inserts into the text in a way that is far from subtle. The book is already written in a redundant and verbose style, and the constant repetition of MORE, One Decision, the softly addicted life, etc. etc. multiple times on every page, makes reading pretty unpleasant. The author continuously mentions her successful self-help business and her workshops at the eponymous Wright institute. We understand that marketing is part of staying afloat in the self-help publishing world, and if it were done a bit more skillfully, it might have passed, but unfortunately it's about as in-your-face as can be.

Final note:
In a sense, this book is really two books back-to-back: the expository-style "The Soft Addiction Solution", and the reflection exercise book "The Soft Addiction Solution Workbook" in the back. They are largely redundant, and the second one especially seems to be taken straight from one of her workshops, where the participants might still need to be led down the path of discovering that soft addictions exist, are in their lives, and are bad. However, if you enjoy sort of guided journaling activities, you might like this part more than the first section.

Judith Wright has such a forgiving and refreshing approach to bad habits. The way she talks about "soft addictions" makes me feel so much self acceptance and understanding for myself and why I do the things I do. Instead of hating and indicting myself, I feel compassion and insight. I realize I am looking for something more meaningful and nourishing and that I can decide to do something different and have a completely different experience. Judith's "math of more" is a brilliant way to think about making incremental positive changes that add up over time. Instead of trying to quit something cold turkey, Wright recommends identifying what I am really emotionally hungry for and finding a better way to really satisfy that hunger. The other night, I was on a business trip and was starting to surf the channels on the TV, killing time and staying up too late. I caught myself and realized that I was searching kind of aimlessly for something that would interest me, excite me or somehow make me feel connected with something. I realized that I was longing for personal contact, so I turned off the TV, called my wife, talked to her for a few minutes and went to bed. I felt a little happier and slept better and longer. This seemed like a really small thing, but made me feel much better the next day. Wright combines her compassionate approach to life with a logical and very effective set of methods for making lasting positive change. This is the real deal - not just good ideas, but very practical, useful stuff, grounded in real life experience.

I've read other books about stopping my soft addictions, but this is the first one that had me add something to replace them. It's making all the difference! I never thought I was indulging my soft addictions because I was missing something deeper in my life. I find myself asking my husband to take time to connect with me when I feel the urge to go shopping. I've been able to consistently get to work on time, when I've been a chronically tardy person. A little bit at a time, I am eliminating the clutter in my house. This book is very effective in helping me make more out of my life and my relationships!

Judith offers a valuable framework for identifying self-defeating behaviors. She guides the reader to discover the underlying emotions and thought patterns behind undesirable habits. The comprehensive checklist of addictions that undermine me - was useful and I could identify more systemically how various behaviors interrelate. Knowing my system of soft addictions, the book provides a useful system and guide to plan ways to replace my bad patterns, by fulfilling the deeper hungers with more nourishing and satisfying actions. Using the "math of more," I'm able to spend my time and energy more wisely, bit by bit, to become more satisfied. I've added more dance, social activities, satisfying work projects, and it's helping me to limit my indulgences in food or laziness. I've found the book and training with Judith to be of immeasurable value.

I think the basic concepts in this book are important and can help many people. That is, the idea that we all waste time and life's energy on meaningless activities, and that there is a better, more enjoyable, and more meaningful way to live. BUT, that said, this book is much, much longer than it needs to be. All of the important ideas could be gotten across in about 50 pages or even fewer. I found myself more and more bored, and did not even finish the book. And I am a person who generally always finishes a book once started. This book, I could not even slog through as it was just repeating the same thoughts over and over and over. It was also irritating that the author repeats the same cutsie little sayings over and over. Anyway I would recommend learning about this author's ideas, but I would not recommend reading this book.

By reading this book, my entire life became more productive and efficient. I was able to figure out what habits lead me nowhere, and how to substitute them with activities that lead me to my goals. I have much more time to play, and more money in the bank. My life is so much more enjoyable.

Judith Wright's book helped me realize how much of my life and money I have wasted on my soft addictions. She showed me how to replace my soft addictions with the things I have always wanted to have in my life (more connection, more adventure, more creativity, more meaning). This book has helped me to begin to create the kind of life I've always wanted. I highly recommend this book.

I was really excited about this book until I started reading it. The concept of the book was great but the authors way of writing made it unreadable.
The book is littered with the word MORE in all caps and how to get MORE out of life throughout the book. In fact, in the first 10 pages the word MORE in all caps is printed 17 times. This is fairly irritating and gimmicky and continues throughout the book. The author also has "More-sels" on the page margins which are quotes, sometimes from herself. The author also does not tire of listing and repeating her own accomplishments which gets annoying. Surely there are other ways to get the ideas of the book across.
One of her audiences seems to be people in sales and how she helped them increase their sales. The book is supposedly about how to get more meaning in your life which seems counter to getting better at convincing people to buy things they don't need.
I really wanted to like this book but I couldn't. I think the concepts are great but would be better written in a different style and perhaps by a different author.

I highly recommend this book and the lessons taught by Judith Wright to anyone genuinely interested in living a great life. I'm an overeater, overspender, over worrier, etc. One of the things that she did in this book that was very helpful was have me literally add up the costs of all of these bad habits, thousands of dollars a year. It was very sobering and eye opening. And I am finding as I add little things--more workouts, more talks with friends, nothing huge, but step by step things, I am less drawn to the bad habits. Her book is readable, humorous, compasssionate, fun, engaging. I am not sure what is up with the bad reviews.