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Solace: Rituals of Loss and Desire
 
 
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Solace: Rituals of Loss and Desire [Paperback]

Mary Sojourner (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

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Book Description

July 27, 2007
NPR commentator Mary Sojourner, "a pithy yet sensuous, spiritual yet ferocious writer" (Booklist), delivers a powerful memoir about the joys of rejecting the pace, addictions, and false values of society...and learning to live without compromise.

Twenty years ago, Mary Sojourner was a mental health consultant and counselor in Rochester, New York, a divorced mother of three, longing for her real work, her real home. She found it in Flagstaff, Arizona, in a remote two-room cabin that had no running water and only a wood stove for heat, but offered Sojourner everything she needed in terms of light, beauty, joy, and the perfect setting for writing and reconnecting.

Solace is a book about obsession and release, and the lifelong search for balance in a world revolving around appetite and acceleration. Written in short, beautifully crafted pieces, the book carries the reader through Sojourner's life, from a restrained Catholic childhood to the excesses of her generation, through motherhood and divorce to her quiet, solitary existence in the Southwest, where she has learned the importance of living at the right pace.

Sojourner's voice is as compelling on the page as it is on the radio -- lively, funny, moving, combining the outspoken out-of-stepness of Anne Lamott with the environmental activism and poetic prose of Terry Tempest Williams. In chapters with titles such as "God Is Coming and She Is Pissed" and "How to Leave: Leave," her vivid personality, passion, and sense of humor come through. This is a book for women everywhere -- those who recognize their own truths in Mary's life and younger readers who will find inspiration in her hard-won wisdom.


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

NPR contributor Sojourner writes about her life from a "scrap-and-wallboard" cabin with no running water near Flagstaff, Ariz. She shepherds readers from her difficult girlhood with a mentally ill mother through the birth of her children and her discovery of feminism to a mature adulthood pocked with unhealthy relationships to men, alcohol, her computer and slot machines. Along the way, Sojourner, originally from Pennsylvania, finds a love for the American Southwest, moves there, then chafes at all the other newcomers who she believes are ruining the landscape and the environment. The result is a book that addresses the author's addictions, environmental activism and progression of messy relationships. Alas, Sojourner does not fully develop any of these threads. Moreover, rather than illustrating her life with stories, Sojourner reports, without meaty narrative backup (e.g., she glosses over the collapse of her first marriage: "I had sleepwalked and jangled my way through the earlier marriage to the college poet and, in an act more merciful then [sic] I understood, left him and our baby. I had fled to a new man, and when he left, run straight into the second marriage"). The book vacillates between periods of despair and epiphanies that soon evaporate (e.g., as Sojourner is trying to quit spending so much time on the Internet and return to writing, she notes, "Words spilled from the pool of witness and recollection. And as they emptied out, I felt full. For a while"). Still, Sojourner's passion, prickly vulnerability and deep humanity are engaging when taken in small, essay-sized bites.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Sixtysomething southwestern writer Sojourner, a commentator on National Public Radio's Morning Edition and an environmental activist, explores the conundrums of women's lives in a set of autobiographical essays. Solace forms a mosaic memoir. Inspired by the high desert, Sojourner's prose is at once spare and evocative as she remembers how her childhood was seared by her mother's depression and redeemed, in part, by her discovery of the "shelter" books provide. A self-described "good bad girl," Sojourner taps into the source of her zeal for hard work and right action and her passion for the wrong men. Married, divorced, and the mother of four early on, she remembers the misery of women's lives prior to the women's movement. Possessed of a fiercely addictive personality, she recounts with humor and wisdom her struggles to steer clear of alcohol, gambling, and even the Internet, ultimately transcending the personal to illuminate the woes of our entire consumer culture. Donna Seaman
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Scribner (July 27, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 074322969X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743229692
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.5 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,574,491 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I began writing professionally in 1985 after what seemed a century of being a divorced mom (with all its richness and 5 am - midnight days and nights). I drove West from a Great Lakes city, from wet gray and green to the huge skies and sacred mountains of Flagstaff, Arizona. I went as a promise to myself to write and fight for the earth. My writing - two novels, one short story collection, one essay collection, two memoirs, dozens of NPR commentaries and hundreds of magazine and newspaper columns - serves that vow.

Flagstaff, like so many Western mountain towns, became a playground for the rich and entitled. Too many of us could no longer afford to live there. I moved to a ragged little town in the Mojave Desert in 2008 after a series of losses that had taken me down to bone. The Mojave burned away what was left. If you have lived through any form of annihilation - deaths, addictions, wasting illness, depression, losing beloveds, feeling the threads that connect you with a place being destroyed - you know. I went north to Bend, Oregon in 2009. I missed the desert every other breath; I found my way into the basin-range sagebrush and basalt about 15 miles east of town. That huge space kept me alive - not just physically.

Loss and change are the fuel for my writing. Gratitude moves my pen. A cluster of seven Ponderosa near my old cabin near Flagstaff called me home in 2010. The cabin is gone. I live in a little first-floor apartment. My windows look out on another Ponderosa grove. I've seduced a gang of ravens and two Abert squirrels with corn chips and peanuts. This morning, the light outside my window is an alchemist's meld of the gray skies of my Eastern birthplace and the fierce blue of the Southwestern sky. There is a pinyon juniper desert to the north, east and south of my home. I count myself blessed to have been returned from a three year exile. The only forms of gratitude that are real are to write and to fight for the earth - to stop snow-making desecration on the sacred mountains here. (To learn more, go to truesnow.org.)

My blog is at marysojourner.com
My 2010 Psychology Today blog, She Bets Her Life is at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/she-bets-her-life
My Matador blog, Dispatches from the Land of No Return is at: http://matadornetwork.com/community/marysojo/
You can keep up-dated on my readings, signings and conference appearances on my web pages at magictails.com
You can hear the NPR commentaries from 2000 on at NPR.org, Morning Edition, Mary Sojourner in the archives.

 

Customer Reviews

4 Reviews
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4 star:    (0)
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Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (4 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars intense and heart felt, February 12, 2005
By 
juniper (Houston, Texas USA) - See all my reviews
I have read everything of Mary Sojourner's work that I can lay my hands on. Her work is intense, gritty, and deeply moving. This book is no exception. Keep it up, Mary.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Light shades, July 13, 2008
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Solace: Rituals of Loss and Desire (Paperback)
Keep in mind, this review is not being generated by a erudite, literary scholar ... having barely passed college english. Thus, this is the simple opinion of a complex personality.

I encountered Mary Sojourner on a Yoga web site where her chapter on "Occupying Less" was presented. So enticed by her ability to articulate her thoughts on simplicity and nature that I ordered the book, clueless as to its future impact on my life.

Initially, I was struck by her spiritual movement from dull, flat grays to brilliant, primary neons which interplayed with the shadows and lights. The grey world of childhood nuturing is juxtaposed against her eight year old ability to disconnect from the pain by focusing on Christmas lights... and hence forth, always seeking those luminous, transcendental moments of escape from the gray, monotonous ache.

Sojourner's ability to express the concept of disconnection as both a survival skill and as a destructive force resonate with those seeking that fine thread of balance upon which many of us try to walk. Her absorption into a new homeland, the desert, and her desire to rally the cry for protection is inspiring. Yet, through her struggles as an environmental activist, she cogently identifies her own personal obstacles and emotional pitfalls.

If for no other reason than cronehood, I believe this book should be a must read for all women who are seeking their path.

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5.0 out of 5 stars soulful, gutsy and daring, March 14, 2005
By 
I bought this book while hiking out in the SW. I found within its covers a beautifully written map of a life lived full on. What amazing healing it provided. I yearn for those who can express and feel even one third of what Mary Sojourner has shared. If you want exquisite writing, uncut stories of raw life and insights into the human soul--read this. You will be changed.
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