Most Helpful Customer Reviews
116 of 120 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Wonderful Help for People Who are Overweight., September 2, 1999
By A Customer
I've been reading this book, and find it very helpful. The idea that there are six causes to weight problems...only two of which have to do with food and exercise, is very interesting. The author believes that it has to do with not being taught how to effectively take care of ourselves when we are children...mostly because our parents probably didn't have the skills needed, either. Which is why you see obesity run in familys...not because it's genetic, per se, but because we are passing our weak skills on to our children. And so they cope with problems the same way we do, or our parents do, etc. The Six Causes are: 1. Weak Nurturing 2. Ineffective Limits 3. Body Shame 4. Poor Vitality 5. Unbalanced Eating 6. Stalled Living The idea is to work toward learning and using effective ways of taking care of ourselves and our emotional and physical needs. The author believes that learning to become strong in these areas will eliminate our need to overeat, or eat the wrong foods. That rather than having to fight to lose the weight, our bodies will naturally and slowly get down to the perfect weight for us, according to genetics, bone structure, etc. The author has tested this with a lot of people, and found that it really does work. I believe that it would, because if you think about it, for most of us who are struggling with a weight problem, food is more than just food to us. It's comfort and love and acceptance...because even if no one else seems to care about us, at least the yummy food is always there. It gives us something to do when we're bored, calms us down when we are stressed, etc. We use it for much more than just fuel for our bodies, or even just as something enjoyable. After all, there are other things we enjoy, but we don't have to have them in vast amounts. The book goes through ways of learning the skills you need to have strong nurturing, effective limits, body pride, good health, balanced eating, and a mastery of living. I haven't started with the skills yet, but I believe it could really help me. I really believe the author is on the right track, because when we just diet and exercise, and not take care of the root problem that's causing us to overeat in the first place, then we are only treating the symptom, not the problem. We all no that if the main problem remains, we can slip back into the symptoms at any time. But, if the problem is removed, then the symptoms will go as well. The other thing is that the author doesn't just deal with obese people...some people are just a few pounds overweight, but still unhappy with their body, etc...and she's worked with them, also. The interesting thing is that the people who've worked through the skills say that their entire life is better...not just because they've lost weight, but because they are dealing with life more effectively. I think it is very interesting, and could be helpful to anyone struggling with a weight problem.
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45 of 46 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A deep relief to find something that works, October 17, 2001
This book received a positive review in a popular fitness magazine so I decided to check it out. It provides an approach that has allowed me to lose weight in a very personalized manner. It may not be for everyone since it is based on taking quiet time to getting to the heart of why you feel somehow compelled to eat when you aren't really hungry. This introspection takes many forms including writing, talking and thinking about your own deepest/toughest challenges in life. I have lost 40 to 50 pounds several times in my life and am usually, in my head, on some sort restrictive diet that I seldom follow-through on. When I began this work I immediately lost 8 pounds and then stayed steady as I built up my ability to face things as they come. I have now started losing again in a way that is almost effortless because I am eating much more often simply because I am hungry or for the pleasure of something incredibly tasty but not because I am trying not to think about things that have made me uncomfortable/anxious during the day or in the past. Before I bought this book I read the reviews here that said it was an expensive process but there is no organized support for this program in my area so my costs have not been that high.So far, I have spent around $200 for 6 months of materials ( journals, tapes, web site access) and one session of telephone coaching. It is worth it. I easily used to spend this much over a 6 month period on extra food.
The language used in the book can be a little off-putting ( e.g. the cures, tender morsels, hamburger sandwich) and the ideas are sometimes fairly complex, but if you are motivated and committed my own experience is that it really achieves results and helps provide a sense of balance in many aspects of daily life.
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47 of 49 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I'm finding Mellin's book helpful despite some disagreement, August 13, 1999
By A Customer
Mellin's system is the *only* one that has achieved a 77% longterm (more than 2 years after her 12 week program ended) success rate, at a study done at UC of San Francisco's School of Medicine, where she is currently an associate clinical professor of family and community medicine. As a fat self-esteem coach, it pleases me immoderately to read a book that is founded upon achieving permanent slim as a result of increasing one's awareness in crucial areas, and being responsible for acting upon that new awareness productively. Within Mellin's schema, unresolved lifestyle issues set up stresses that are experienced as "hunger" for the obese, thus overriding the perception of one's own bodily hunger. That is why her book is about performing the fairly subtle, often invisible, actions that satisfy a wide variety of needs, from sensing one's emotions of the moment, to knowing how far to pursue any one desire generally, to asserting oneself at work or with the doctor, eating a "balanced" food intake and exercising. Journals and "feeling" letters help deal with the repression of feeling associated with any compulsion. The first thing that sets Mellin's book apart from the tens of thousands of competing books and articles on this subject is a sense of comprehensiveness. In her beginning pages of "acknowledgments," Mellin has reached out to medical doctors, psychologists, the American Cancer Society, and the US Department of Health. She has made a serious effort to embrace all the leading opinions of folks who are alive and working in a field related to permanent weight-loss-and that effort *shows*!! There is a unique clarity and creativity to her thinking that seems based upon the fact that she made a good-faith effort to consider every important variable when making up her system to achieve permanent weight-loss. One example: Instead of coming up with a low-fat, moderate carbohydrate diet as God's gift to the obese, Mellin sees the necessity of shifting gears from eating "healthy" to eating for pleasure solely! The person who gets to determine when to shift gears is the *reader*, though Mellin is there in the background, supplying principles and examples that help clear the path ahead. In her unique way, she gets to combine the idea of low-fat eating (one moment) with the idea of eating hedonistically for pleasure alone (the next moment). I should mention that, as a self-esteem coach, I do not agree with a number of her ideas in this arena, tending to side more with Dr. Robert Atkins' ketone theory when I would regulate my appestat and with the Leonard and Lillian Pearson's pleasure-and-emotion-enhancing approach to eating when it comes time to eat pleasurably. Disagreements aside, Mellin's approach is both creative and grounded in the realities of day-to-day eating that beset dieters constantly. As a personal note, I have been obese from the age of 8. I began Mellin's program about 1 month ago. During that time, I created my own diet that matched my personal eating history, and promptly lost 10 pounds. I consider myself most definitely to be a *student* of her work, however, since I currently weigh 300 pounds-and believe I should weight about 150-160 pounds. Since each 10 pounds lost tends to be achieved via self-transformation, I have A LOT of learning left to do in this area. However, I am deeply impressed with it, sufficiently to want to use it as a foundation for my coaching skills in the future. Steph Silberstein has, with my coaching, begun Mellin's book a few weeks ago and, without *any* planned diet of any sort, taken off 5 of the 35 pounds she would lose. I hope that all interested folks give Mellin's wonderful book a serious try. While I suspect that many will need support, perhaps active coaching, while applying that book (and some, with serious mental or physical health problems would, undoubtedly serve themselves best by seeking out medical doctors, psychotherapists, or dieticians as additional guides), I think that anyone who is overweight should gather up one's courage in hand and tackle *super*seriously the tremendous challenge implicitly offerred by Mellin, the challenge to be more aware of one's feelings and needs in a number of vital areas and be responsible step-by-step for incorporating that increased awareness into one's behavior.
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