Customer Reviews

Solutions for Adults with Asperger's Syndrome: Maximizing the Benefits, Minimizing the Drawbacks to Achieve Success

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This was the most offensive, patronizing, uninformative work of non-fiction that I have ever read. The author recounts scenario after scenario in which the person with AS acts in a selfish, rude, hateful, illogical, or irresponsible way towards their NT partner or parent. The offending aspie is usually a male spouse, and the wife is a long-suffering model of perfection who just can't take it anymore. Any examples of female aspies are portrayed as bratty out-of-control teenagers or self-centered, uncaring wives. But the author seems to have a proclivity towards man-bashing, and seems to relish the act of demonizing and/or patronizing the aspie husbands in page after page of complaining about aspie behavior (thinly veiled as "explaining" the behavior to NT readers.)

I forced myself to continue reading, thinking that at any point she would eventually get to the "solutions" that the title claimed to provide. The best "solution" I could glean from her ramblings was to see a therapist or marriage counselor for help.

I finally gave up reading this horrible excuse of a book, when I reached the chapter on marriage and divorce. The author has a special section for divorce and child custody. She states that under no circumstances should the AS spouse be allowed to have custody of the children. The AS spouse is not only unable to properly care for the children, but is actually a DANGER to them because of poor common sense. She gives the example that an AS spouse would not know that it would be inappropriate to leave a sleeping baby alone in the house. Then the author states that she is pushing for laws in the US, Canada, Australia, and the UK to make it impossible for anyone with an AS diagnosis to be granted custody of their children in the case of a divorce.

To me, this borders on libel. Every person is different, and every divorce is unique. I, for one, have gone to extreme lengths to create a better life for my child: moving out of town so that he would be able to go to a better school; finding him the best doctors to treat his ADHD and AS. Fighting for the right accommodations; providing him with the right balance of social time, school time, and private time so that he does not become agitated; keeping a calm and safe environment. My NT husband would not have done any of those things. He would have forced him to continue going to a school that treated him like a criminal/freak. He would have tried to "discipline" or shame the ADHD and AS out of him. He would not be able to provide the consistency or safe environment that is needed. He would not be able to understand or show compassion for the unusual behavior and meltdowns. If a COURT had decided to take my child away and place him in the care of my ex-husband based on some arbitrary blanket-statement that AS parents are unfit, my son would not only be in an unhealthy environment, he would probably be emotionally scarred for life.

I am disgusted at the tone and the opinions that Lovett has put forth in this book. Not only does it FAIL to provide "solutions," it completely misrepresents the true nature of Aspergers, and undermines the character and intelligence of everyone who is affected by this "disorder."

This book may be useful for someone who is a friend or family member of a person on the low-functioning end of AS. For Aspies themselves, however, it comes across as condescending and pitying; it refers to people with AS as 'childlike,' and is mostly written with that perspective. The author seems to have a lot of experience with how AS looks from the outside, but not a real understanding of how AS feels or how AS functions beyond the psychological/neurological theories of people without AS.

There are a handful of social tips for people with AS scattered throughout the book. Some of them may be useful, but for anyone who has learned to cope on their own as an adult, and is looking for help beyond what they have achieved by themselves, there is unlikely to be anything new.

This book deserves special kudos for addressing issues directly involving adults with Asperger's Syndrome (AS), e.g. marriage and employment. For people who have AS or are directly involved with someone who does, make this book your best friend. I like the way the author says that AS "does not become fatal" nor is it miraculously cured by the time a person turns 18. AS is not limited to children; children with AS become adults with the condition. Lovett's darts hit the description, definition and issues in re AS right in the bull's eye and punctures neurotypical (NT) myths about AS. This book deserves a place of honor.

The chapters are logically laid out and clearly identified with the subject matter being covered. Helpful vignettes involving people with AS are included along with discussions about the vignettes and the issues involved.

One of the greatest services this book does is to state that AS, which is the spectrum partner of autism is not a mental illness, but a neurobiological condition. AS is NOT caused by poor parenting and neglect; there is no medication for it and stupid myths such as these have long been disproved as being the crocks of bull that they always were.

Examples of interaction; discussion of accomodations being made for people on the autism/Asperger's (a/A) spectrum on jobs and parents with AS are included. This is a book no adult with AS should be without. It is also an excellent teaching tool for the neurotypical (NT) population as well. This book has something for everybody and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Being newly diagnosed with Asperger's, this book was a great guide to helping me understand the disorder. It did not, however, have much in the way of "solutions" as the title suggests. The focus was more on personality traits and challenges an Aspie might have, and very little time was spent discussing what to do about it.

It is a great starting point for newly-diagnosed Aspies and their family members.

This is an excellent review of Asperger's and other autistic spectrum diseases. There being so little available for adults, it is particularly useful for relatives and friends who need to understand their Asperger's friends/relatives. Not all Asperger's sufferers will be able to use the author's advice. Only the highest functioning, most self-aware individuals will be able to adopt the coping mechanisms the author suggests. The writing is quite repetitive, but perhaps this was intentional. Good education for those who know nothing about the spectrum of autistic diseases.

The way Juanita Lovett expresses Asperger Syndrome in her book gives a wrong impression about Aspergers. It leaves one with the feeling like society would be better off to find a cure for Aspergers, along with making it seem like neurotypically structured people are superior.

Although there are truths to be found in this book, too many statements are written as if she really knows what she is saying. For example, she states that the skill of empathy is compromised in AS (page 183) and is an area of functioning that can be difficult to help someone with AS understand. It's true AS people do have trouble to recognize and understand others' state of mind and feelings when they are different from their own. BUT...she is either too arrogant or lacks the intelligence (or both?) to realize and know that what she says works both ways. Neurotypical people always have trouble to recognize and understand an AS person's state of mind and feelings. Ms. Lovett has to rely on second-hand information to write her book.

The ideal person to write about Asperger Syndrome in adults is an adult with Asperger Syndrome. The reason you will not find such a book written by an AS person is because it will only be truly understood by another AS person. An NT like Ms. Lovett gets her book published because most of the people who are seeking to buy a book to learn about AS are NTs and NTs feel most comfortable reading material that doesn't challenge their way of thinking and/or their egos.

If this review sounds condescending towards the author, then thought needs to be given to how the author sounds when she says such things (page 91) as "People with AS have difficulty getting the gist of the situation." Maybe so in instances she gives. However, NTs also have difficulty getting the gist of the situation in certain instances that AS people have no trouble with (such as rapidly noticing a long-range pattern that a typical person could never grasp).

A better book to read on the topic of Aspergers is by Tony Attwood called The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.

P.S.- Would anyone know why Amazon.com would place the wrong date a review is authored on?

I have AS. My wife bought me this book for Christmas. While it has some good information, I find the examples and interpretations rather insulting. The author, while a Ph.D., is a woman, and one of her interpretations of AS's difficult at communication and NT's exemplary performances is actually a classic expression of the Male/Female communication issues, where women think men should be able to miraculously figure out what a woman is really saying. I have found over the years that there are a lot of PhD's who are good at aborbing and regurgitating information and in writing, but as far as actual synthesis ability they are as lacking as everyone else. The worst interpretation is the "Theory of Mind" thing. The only people with a "Theory of Mind" have above average intelligences, whether AS or NT. Normal NT's are just as inept at being kind, considerate, understanding, compassionate and empathetic as any AS may be thought to be. They are only good at relationships with the people they already know and in the areas they have lived most. A more accurate (sorry, this is an AS thing) would be the locus of the behavioral modeling. AS have to process the details in their foreground conscious minds, NT's do it in sub-conscious specialized co-processing centers. So, NT's don't know how they know, but an effective AS has a very well developed "Theory of Mind" that they can implement to model the behavior and know what to do.

But, the presented facts (from other peoples' work and theories) are useful: hyper-arousal (that's me and my insomnia (sleep study result)); differing processing centers, details vs. summarized infomation processing in the "foreground" brain centers, etc., but this stuff is available through other means. So I don't know if I would recommend this book or not.

This book is probably best for those who are new to Asperger's, including neurotypicals. Those with more experience may do better to seek a textbook on the subject. That being said, this is an excellent resource for understanding how relationships between NTs and those with AS both function and malfunction, and ways to cope with those difficulties. This book is not a tool for diagnosis or treatment because it is not a medical text. It is, however, a useful resource for healthier relationships between families, couples, and coworkers.

Made myself read the whole thing, looking for useful advice. Glad that's over with. Repetitive and longer than it needs to be, and mostly a waste of time.

After reading reviews of various books on Aspergers Adults, I can see that this book, which initially attracted me, is for "neurotypicals" (everyone else) and not for people with AS.

Asperger's From the Inside Out: A Supportive and Practical Guide for Anyone with Asperger's Syndrome, which is the book I ordered, is written by a person who was diagnosed Aspergers as an adult. He also works actively with the GRASP group, which provides much helpful information to those of us with Aspergers.

From what I read here, this particular book asks as if Aspies need improving to belong to the human race. References remind me of how I was looked down upon when I had moved to another country, because I didn't yet speak the "code." As one reviewer here points out, maybe our "code" is as good as the NT code. But we have difficulty figuring out NT, while NTs have equal difficulty understanding us! It's interesting that so many highly intelligent and productive people have Aspergers. Are they trying to keep us down and out of the competition? That's what it has often felt like to me! I consider myself very holistic, not childish!