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Cliche Scottish Historical Romance (C Grade)
on April 14, 2009
The year is 1814 and the place is the Scottish Highlands. The setting is so very important since this is a Scottish historical romance and must take place in the Scottish Highlands. Pamela Darby and her half-sister Sophie are desolate and poorer than church mice. Their mother was a theater actress and raised both Pamela and Sophie at the Crown Theatre off of Drury Lane in London. Six months ago a fire reduced the theater to rubble and their mother was killed. Sophie is quite the beauty but can't act for anything in the world. Pamela is not so much a beauty because as in most of these historicals, a character like Pamela has the brains and not so much the looks. Because Sophie is a horrible actress, she and Pamela were thrown out onto the street to make their way into the world.
But Pamela is tenacious and has a plan. The Duke of Warrick, who is one of the most powerful and wealthiest nobleman in all of England wishes to find his son that has been missing for thirty years. If Pamela can find some dim-witted Scotsman to act the part of the long lost son she will receive the reward and end up buying some cottage on the coast and plant and garden or something of the sort. She is also on the quest to find her mother's killer because she knows the fire was set by someone who wanted her mother dead.
As Pamela and Sophie are riding along in a carriage they can barley afford, they are attacked by a highway man who is Connor Kincaid the robber prince of the night, terror of the highways and scourge of the Highlands. Connor is all these things because he tells Pamela so after they come to an agreement after he attacks her carriage. Pamela stands up to this scourge and decides he would be perfect as Warrick's long lost son. At first Connor thinks Pamela is crazy because she is British and as a Scotsman he can't trust the British because they are enemies. Also he thinks her plan has so many holes that the duke would never fall for it. But Pamela has a letter the duchess of Warrick penned the night she left the duke because he was unfaithful to her. She took their son and made him believe she left for France, when she actually planned to seek asylum with her grandfather who was one a powerful laird in the Highlands. But the duchess and her son were killed. This letter was in Pamela's mother's possessions. Remember that fire? Well someone set it to kill her mother and destroy the letter so it would never be found. Pamela will use the letter as proof. The duke will certainly believe that Connor is his long lost son and everything will be a much brighter place in the lives of Pamela, Sophie and Connor.
So off these kids go to London to see the duke. The duke falls for the tale Pamela spins and welcomes Connor with open arms. Pamela expects her reward so she can buy some seeds for her garden and to be on her way, but Connor throws her plans for another loop. He tells the duke that Pamela is his fiancé. Now she will stick by his side. The next step is to find who killed Pamela's mother and keep the lie going. But the fake relationship between Pamela and Connor has become very real because these two have found something special with one another that will not be denied! The scourge of the Highlands will plunder this devious yet perky young London miss.
What we have here is a handsome highway man who is really an overall nice guy who feels guilt for pretending to be some old man's son, but needs the money. The woman he falls for has no shame in tricking the rich old man because she can't stand to be penniless. You know these two will be perfect for each other and at the end everything will work out because this is a typical Avon wallpaper romance. (Does anyone remember the ending to The Proposition by Judith Ivory?)
Some Like It Wild is one of the most clichéd romances I have read in a long time. How many times have I read about a sexy Scot turned highway man to feed his clan? Or the spunky heroine who stands up to the sexy Scot turned highway man, whiplashes him with her tongue and then falls for him as he does for her? I would say too many times to count.
Another perfect cliched example is the old fall back scene where the heroine must talk to the hero in the middle of the night because she can't sleep:
Virgin heroine a.k.a. Pamela: "Let me go into the hero's bedroom late at night in my skimpy nightgown because I just must talk to him at this late hour!"
Scottish hero a.k.a Connor: "Why is the heroine in my bedroom in a skimpy nightgown at this late hour? Oh well, I will pretend I am sleeping and when she gets close to my bed to see if I am awake, I will grab her and we will enjoy some foreplay, but no sex yet because it is only page 140 and not 210."
This one is a major pass.