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Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead (Toad Witch Series, Book One 1) [Kindle Edition]

Christiana Miller
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (412 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $13.95
Kindle Price: $3.99
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Book Description

SOMEBODY TELL AUNT TILLIE SHE'S DEAD

A little magic can go a long way -- to really screwing up a girl's life!

Mara is having the worst month of her life. At least, that's what her cards tell her and they've never been wrong. She's evicted from her apartment, loses her job and is banned from Beverly Hills. So when the tarot cards predict her imminent demise, she uses a little magic to make her world right.

Suddenly, an aunt she's never met dies, leaving Mara as her sole heir. But when Mara moves into her inherited home, she discovers Aunt Tillie never moved out. She's still one pissed-off old lady, even post-mortem, and she blames Mara's magical meddling for her death.

When Mara accidentally releases a demon and awakens the spirit of the most powerful witch in history, Tillie's ready to kill her -- literally. It's the only way she can think of to save the girl from herself.

The witch and the demon, however, have other plans for Mara's body!

This is a full-length novel, at 88,500 words (332 pages).

GENRE: Urban Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, Ghost Story, Supernatural Suspense, Contemporary Fantasy, Paranormal Mystery.

WHAT BOOK REVIEWERS ARE SAYING:

"This was so much fun to read I didn't want it to end! If you are looking for a paranormal story that has it all, this is it!" -- Wickedly Bookish

"Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead is a must-read for paranormal lovers. Christiana Miller is an author to keep an eye on!" -- Melanie's Book Addiction

"Get ready for a psychic roller coaster ride. This book is a tour de force novel of magic, spellcraft and over all chills." -- Everything Magical and Middle Eastern

"A charming, well written, fun novel well worth the read. Ms. Miller's humor is delightful! Come fly with her through the bewitching life of Mara - you won't be disappointed!" -- FMAM Mostly Mystery Reviews

"If you want a great indie paranormal adult read that will keep you turning the pages and guessing what will happen next, then pick up this book and give it a read." -- My Guilty Obsession

"Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead was a tremendous amount of fun to read. Christiana Miller's background in the TV industry shows in her confident, imaginative plotting and idiosyncratic characters that leap off the page with the power of their intention within the story." -- Reading is My Super Power

WHAT OTHER AUTHORS ARE SAYING:

"A spellbinding tale about the families we are born to--and the ones we choose. It captivates from the first page and holds on until the final, shocking conclusion. You won't want to miss it!" -- Barbra Annino, Opal Fire: A Stacy Justice Mystery

"Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead is a fine romp through spookyland, with enough paranormal creepiness to chill your blood. Witches, demons, magic spells, oh my! There's just enough intrigue and magic spells to keep you on edge, and Miller's hilarious one-liners leave you begging for more. Highly recommended for fun but scary reading on dark, stormy nights." -- Bonnie Turner, Down the Memory Hole


Editorial Reviews

Review

2012 Silken Sands (RWA) Star Contest, Reader's Choice Award -- 2nd Place Award Winner, Paranormal
 
2011 Best Read, Wickedly Bookish Awards. "This indie gem stole my heart with its fun humor, endearing characters, and thrilling moments. The transition from funny to chilling was at times immediate, combining these two elements very enjoyably." -- Wickedly Bookish

"An entertaining, supernaturally infused chick-lit tale." -- Kirkus Reviews

From the Author

This book was a lot of fun to write. And yes, there will be more books about Mara, Gus and Lord Grundleshanks the poisonous toad! For my Wiccan readers, who are curious about the quarter system used in the book, this story uses the Northern Quarter system as it's used in Traditional Witchcraft, rather than the Golden Dawn Quarter system, which is more widely used in Wiccan circles.

Product Details

  • File Size: 588 KB
  • Print Length: 323 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1461168236
  • Publisher: HekaRose Publishing (December 25, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004XTS58I
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,564 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
47 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Aunt Tillie Rocks! August 17, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
How does one even begin? So very well written! I enjoyed every moment of it, even when things got a little dicey towards the end. Just as everything in our heroine's LA life is closing in around her, a gift from the grave comes to her rescue...or does it? Our poor heroine is so very haunted that she can't tell from one moment to the next what is real.

A real page turner right to the very end. A lot of witchcraft, a lot of humor, a really great set of characters...and Christiana Miller is off to the races. Oh, and don't forget Aunt Tillie! She's a pistol.
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40 of 42 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Fun Witchy Read October 30, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
This is such a great fun read. It has a little of it all. It has magic and mystery. Mayhem and humor. A little bit of dark magic, a little bit of light magic. Ghosts and demons. Big city, small town. Witty best friend, death and destruction. Love interests and did I mention magical toads?

Okay, so you sort of get the idea, this book will appeal to just about everyone and has just about everything you could ask for in a great paranormal read.

A great heroine, Mara, who is no push over and knows how to take charge and get the job done and while she isn't perfect and is still learning about who she is and what she can do, she didn't run away from her troubles. Instead she faced them on head first and did what needed to be done.

I loved the humor and just the all around witchiness (totally made up that word) of it all.

And then we have Gus. Ah Gus. How to describe thee. Actually, I can't describe him other than to say he is the kind of friend that you would want in a crisis. The kind that is loyal, funny and always has your back.

I really hope that there will be a second book out soon because I definitely plan on reading it. I want more adventures with Mara and Gus and I want to know more about what becomes of them and the new life they took on and what more is in store for them.

So in short, if you want a great indie paranormal adult read that will keep you turning the pages and guessing what will happen next, then pick up this book and give it a read.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable Lightweight Chick Lit January 31, 2012
By Rhubarb
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As the title said, enjoyable lightweight chick lit. Author is excellent at dialogue. Sometimes the motivations for actions on Mara's part are pretty skimpy--she feels a heavy foreboding, evening is turning dark into nightfall; scary woods--but she just can't resist going forward instead of sensibly going home and waiting for daylight. Hangs around the village looking at the shops, goes to the cottage at sunset, when it's becoming dark and scary. That sort of thing. A little contrived, if you ask me.

I loved the back-and-forth with Gus, though it got a bit heavy handed at times. I wanted to ask, don't you ever respond except in a smart ass sarcastic mode? Enough, already.

Good plot, satisfying ending. "Toad Witch Series" but the toad wasn't that interesting, important only marginally. But then how do you make a toad into a brilliant conversationalist or a key character? I didn't think the title was particularly appropriate.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars someone tell aunt tilly she is dead January 8, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Loved the book. It has everything in it. I want more. The story was well written, I don't like frogs,toads but I loved the toad in the story. The best friend is the best, we all want a Gus in our life. Loved the cottage. A must read
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25 of 30 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Romantic Geek Girl review June 7, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
***This review originally appeared in my Romantic Geek Girl blog***

"At the beginning of this whole, surreal journey, I had no idea you could be evicted from your body as easily as you could be booted out of your apartment."

&

"One of the problems with being a witch is when you ask the universe a question, it generally gives you an answer. Or at least enough of one to ruin a perfectly good week."

And thus with not one but with two killer opening lines, Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead begins.

Writing a line like that - let alone two lines - takes skill and craftsmanship. With much anticipation, I began reading.

Mara is a witch living in Los Angeles. She's a witch, but she's very leery of magic for many a reason, and she tries to keep it to the smaller stuff that can't come back to bite her.

Around her 27th birthday, she's about to get kicked out of her apartment by her fundamentalist Christian landlady.

So she worries over it and talks smarty-pants with her gay best friend and fellow magic user,Gus.

And then Gus talks her doing some magic against her will.

And then something bad happens, and she has bad dreams and bad feelings about what is about to come, especially since *dum dum dum* her mother died at the age of 27.

And then she frets and talks smarty-pants with Gus.

Then the landlady comes back to reiterate witches are evil and she's still evicted.

And then Gus reassures her, and talks her into doing magic against her will.

And keep going like that through the first half of the book.

Let me stop here for a bit.
Read more ›
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars UGH! This was awful March 9, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The only reason I even gave this book two stars is because occasionally I would find myself laughing over something her friend Gus said. I kept reading this book hoping it would get better, but it never did. I am shocked that people gave this 5 stars. Also, the subtitle for the book is the Toad Witch Series. How is this the Toad Witch series? She took the toad with her on her trip, but it pretty much sat in it's cage throughout the entire book. Also it states that toad was magical. Where was the magical toad? She hallucinated that she heard the toad talk in her head...and that was the only thing magical about the toad. I am sorry, but this book was a waste of time to read. All I can say is that I am never trusting some of these reviews again.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars " Who was your favorite character and why
Audio Book Review (cross posted from Audible:

"A Paranormal mystery ..."

Who was your favorite character and why? Read more
Published 6 hours ago by Elizabeth L.
4.0 out of 5 stars jojo
Did enjoy the suspense . Could not put the book down when I had to I hurry and got back ti it asap
Published 2 days ago by Jo ElleReynalds
5.0 out of 5 stars A FUN, suspenseful paranormal genre offering
This read is a TON of fun.
Published 2 days ago by Marie Rose
4.0 out of 5 stars A very cute story
I really liked this story. Mara and Gus are witches and good friends. Gus is gay Mara is single and sqeemish about witchcraft. Read more
Published 3 days ago by MARIGRA60
4.0 out of 5 stars She's got spunk!
I chose this book because the title was cute and caught my attention. I was unfamiliar with the author. Read more
Published 3 days ago by m.knapp
5.0 out of 5 stars and humorous writing combined with Marie Rose's brilliant narration,...
Christiana Miller's dramatic, and humorous writing combined with Marie Rose's brilliant narration, the story of Mara's ordinary to extraordinary experiences comes to life! Read more
Published 6 days ago by Minnie Graves
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
I hate when women are stupid no matter how supposedly intelligent they're supposed to be.
Published 6 days ago by Carole Schumaker
4.0 out of 5 stars Mystery, Humor, Witchcraft, Sex, so what's not to love?
This is a well researched book on the world of the Wiccan culture with smatterings of voo doo, Santeria, and subsets of the above. Read more
Published 7 days ago by Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars Second half of the book was really good.
The book started off being full of stereotypes. The gay man is flamboyant, the female witch is kind of a gray mouse, the really religious lady is Latina. Read more
Published 10 days ago by TaylorJ
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
I loved this book. I thought it was funny. I just started the next one.
Published 11 days ago by Lynda
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More About the Author

Christiana Miller is a novelist, screenwriter and mom who's led an unusual life. In addition to writing for General Hospital: Night Shift and General Hospital, she's had her DNA shot into space (where she's currently cohabiting in a drawer with Stephen Colbert and Stephen Hawking), she's been serenaded by Klingons, and she's been the voices of all the female warriors in Mortal Kombat II and III. If her life was a TV show, it would be a wacky dramedy filled with eccentric characters who get themselves into bizarre situations.

If you want to know more about me, you can chat with me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ChristianaMiller.author or on Twitter @writechristiana

However, the BEST way to make sure you're notified of future releases, giveaways and sales, is by joining my e-mail list at: http://eepurl.com/LeSnn

For random info about me, and my wacky life, check out my site at www.christianamiller.com. And, since my fans love getting Kindle freebies, I randomly post free books (from all different authors) at: https://www.facebook.com/ChristianaKindlePicks

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