Industrial-Sized Deals TextBTS15 Shop Men's Hightops Learn more nav_sap_SWP_6M_fly_beacon Iron Maiden UP3 $5 Off Fire TV Stick Grocery Shop Popular Services hog hog hog  Amazon Echo Starting at $99 Kindle Voyage Shop Back to School with Amazon Back to School with Amazon Outdoor Recreation Baby Sale
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy New
$12.04
Qty:1
  • List Price: $16.95
  • Save: $4.91 (29%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Loving Someone with Borde... has been added to your Cart
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship Paperback – June 29, 2011

108 customer reviews

See all 4 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$12.04
$8.04 $8.01
Unknown Binding
"Please retry"

New & Popular:"The Brain Fog Fix"
Read the popular new book by Mike Dow.
$12.04 FREE Shipping on orders over $35. In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Frequently Bought Together

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship + Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder + I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
Price for all three: $36.42

Buy the selected items together

Editorial Reviews

Review

"More than many other disorders, BPD affects relationships. This book offers families and friends invaluable skills for helping both their loved one and themselves. Dr. Manning has done a beautiful job. A 'must read.'"--Perry D. Hoffman, PhD, President, National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder

"Try out the recommendations this book gives you. You will be surprised by how much better your relationships become."--from the Foreword by Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, Director, Behavioral Research and Training Clinics, University of Washington

"The title says it all! Dr. Manning explains what she has learned about the true nature of BPD from the experts themselves--those who have the disorder. She shows family and friends how our instinctive responses to the crises associated with BPD are frequently ineffective or even harmful, and illuminates what we can do differently, providing practical, incisive, step-by-step guidance. We highly recommend this book."--Jim and Diane Hall, parents of an adult child with BPD and Family Educators for the National Alliance on Mental Illness and the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder



"An extremely useful and highly readable guide....Manning paints vivid portraits of how an encounter with someone with this affliction might go....It has offered me, as a therapist, plenty of ideas....[An] aid to understanding and humanizing a complex condition."--Human Givens
(Human Givens 2011-07-01)

"This hopeful yet realistic book is an indispensable tool for managing relationships with persons who have borderline personality disorder. Research based, clearly written, and practical, this guide to a complex disorder is highly recommended."--Library Journal
(Library Journal 2011-07-01)

“Manning's own background equips her well to provide this self-help resource. Manning trained in DBT under Marsha Linehan and has accumulated a wealth of experience working clinically with people with BPD. She makes frequent reference to DBT throughout the book, but her major achievement is to translate DBT principles and methods into practical steps and advice that are accessible to a lay person….The techniques of mindfulness, awareness of emotional triggers, validation and others can be usefully integrated into many areas of clinical practice, especially for clinicians advising supporters of people with BPD….A clearly written and accessible guide that deserves to be widely read, and which should be available to lay members of the public and to health professionals.”--Metapsychology Online Reviews
(Metapsychology Online Reviews 2013-10-22)

About the Author

Shari Y. Manning, PhD, is a clinician in private practice and the former President/CEO of Behavioral Tech and Behavioral Tech Research, the organizations founded by Marsha M. Linehan to provide training in DBT. Dr. Manning has focused on the treatment of people with BPD since 1993. She lives in Columbia, South Carolina.

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 253 pages
  • Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (June 29, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1593856075
  • ISBN-13: 978-1593856076
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 4.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (108 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #12,745 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

79 of 80 people found the following review helpful By T. Brown on October 9, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you are a trained therapist, the basic tactic in this book may work easier for you. It takes a lot of practice and patience to use the tools and advice given. The gist I get from it is to take the emotion from your response to the BPD out of the equation and also offer your understanding in a confirming statement. They give a few examples of the types of thing's they mean, and what is and isn't a confirming statement. This does help keep interactions and communication's from escalating to high intensity, in many cases, but it is very hard to do when the boyfriend I love is either emotionally very high or very low and he is trying to get an emotional response from me. I have been able to use this advice over the last 3 months and it has helped. We've been able to have less heated fights and get to more understanding of each other, I feel. The more calm and stable I remain, the more he remains so too ... but I have to contain myself first and always. I have to rethink and reword most of the immediate thing's I'd like to say to him, which helps him from not going off the deep end, but I feel he does not get the seriousness of the situation at times. Also giving a confirming statement as to validating him, I feel as an addict that he is, makes it seem that I am condoning his actions or words, so he continues to do destructive behaviors. Maybe I'm not doing it quiet right or I'm expecting to much.
Over all the book is helpful, and there are no quick solutions ... it's all work, hard work when loving a BPD.
8 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
52 of 54 people found the following review helpful By Destiny on November 11, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Ok, so I have only read 1/3 of this book so far, and I will come back and write another review after finishing, but if you love someone who has BPD then you definitely need to read this. My husband has been incorrectly diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, adhd, severe depression, etc. However the 20+ pills he takes everyday have never seemed to help or they just comatose him. We have been together ten exhausting years, with many moments of extreme behavior and many moments of the wonderful person he can be. I have often thought that not only was he crazy, but also mean, manipulative, and a free loader b/c he has never been able to hold down a stable job. I've often accused him of wanting to be with me so I could take care of him financially. After reading the short amount of this book that I have, so many things make perfect sense. It has been very eye opening and is a must read for anyone who has a loved one with borderline personality disorder. At the very least it will help you to realize your loved one does love you but has not developed the necessary skills to be a functioning member of society (to various degrees). It will also allow you to change your reaction to their actions, which can help them change. This book is already such a blessing to me, and I am so thankful that Dr. Manning has taken the time to educate those of us who just happen to love someone with this disorder.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Chelsea C. on February 26, 2014
Format: Paperback
I have also read "Stop Walking On Eggshells". I like the approach of this book much better. Eggshells seems confrontational, but the approach of this book is trying to foster an understanding and helping the person you love.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
37 of 41 people found the following review helpful By P. Giraffe on January 6, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
No one has ever made me feel like they understood borderline... And the way it is talked about in this book eases the knot in my stomach so well. Everything is worded perfectly and it seems like a real person writing it instead of a random doctor being all technical and impersonal. So basically... I love it!!! (This coming from a borderline themselves).
2 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
40 of 46 people found the following review helpful By Patrick Mceldrew on October 10, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I find this the best of the modern books regarding BPD.

1. I find it very hopeful that there are psychologists who find the BPD a treatable condition rather then writting off those with this condition as lost causes.

2. This is a good book in the regard that it helps those coping with the effects of the BPD sufferer's behavior and does not try to make those who love a person with BPD an amateur psychologist.

3. Since many marriages containing someone with this disorder often end in divorce, if someone suspects that they or their spouse has this disorder seeing a psychologist early and reading this book may save a marriage.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
27 of 30 people found the following review helpful By Eli's Nana on July 7, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a wonderful book. I was/am having a very hard time with my daughter who has BPD and this book really helps me to understand better why she is the way she is and that's it's nothing I've done to set her off. At the same time it is sad to realize that there is nothing I can do to fix her. It helps me to understand the disorder and not blame or look to blame anyone but move forward and try my best to help her deal with this disorder. I hope more family's find this book and read it and I believe it will save a lot of people with BPD to not loose their family's and people they love.

Thank you,
Sonja Stewart
Kennewick, WA
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By bg on January 17, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have read many books on this subject, but this has been far the best in helping me both understand this disorder and deal positively with it. It really helps me be more compassionate and patient, and at the same time, helpful in my dealings with the person close to me that has this problem.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By jill on January 4, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have been married to a BPD person for 29 yrs. I knew there had to be a way to break through to him but everything I tried from all the other "Marriage" books didn't even make a dent. This is the book I've been waiting for. I needed to know how to react to this kind of personality. I am anxious to start using these methods. I have hope for the first time!
2 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Set up an Amazon Giveaway

Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
This item: Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
Price: $12.04
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com