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Someone Right for You: 21st Century Strategies for Finding Your Special Someone Paperback – September, 2003

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Paperback, September, 2003
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Editorial Reviews


This is a practical book for singles looking for a life partner. The book is presented in two parts: Part I - Making Romance Happen and Part II - Real People. The goal of each section is clear. Part I is designed to help the reader explore his or her attitudes and beliefs about loving relationships. Part II is a series of stories about Dr. Dreyfus' patients search for romantic partners. Dr. Dreyfus proposes approaching romantic relationships in the same way we do losing weight. Ask yourself this question: Am I really committed to finding a partner/losing weight? The author proposes that commitment requires an openness to new information and new ways of doing things; whether looking for a partner or trying to lose weight. He then provides tools for examining the difference between sincerity and commitment. A man or woman may be sincere in having a clear intention and strong desire for romance. But commitment means change, too, not just desire. Tools offered include specific ways to assess personal blocks to intimacy and how past relationships may interfere with the present ability to become close. Examples are: (1) assuming personal power in relationships; (2) overcoming shyness; and (3) honest self-appraisal. Dreyfus provides a method to view yourself from a point outside your own consciousnss. The method involves family and friends in an assessment process that offers self-knowledge. Though it may be hard to see yourself through another's eyes, it gives you an important tool in your quest for companionship.

So if you're looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, and willing to do some homework, this book is the perfect choice for you. Best of luck! -- From the Publisher --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

Finding a perfect mate is much like mapping a career or establishing a business, it does not happen by perchance or luck. It entails logic and planning, not only romance and chemistry. Nationally recognized psychologist Edward A. Dreyfus debunks the myths in marriage and shows us a modern approach in finding the perfect person to spend our life with in Someone Right for You. We are living in the twenty-first century, so discard those romanticized notions harking back to the Paleolithic.

Fundamental in the quest for that all-important partner is the knowing of our own selves, what we need and what makes us happy. And when we have figured that out, we can then look for our perfect mate, not a fantasy person but one who will fit us as how we are ourselves. Someone Right for You guides the reader in making a personal inventory and creating a step-by-step action plan to that important goal. No hit-and-miss approach here: This is all about personal understanding and careful planning. But though Dreyfus might liken our search to a business plan, Someone Right for You does not take out the romance, merely the romanticized notions that lead us to misery and divorce.

A noted and experienced psychologist, Dr. Dreyfus believes that the primary reason for the alarmingly high divorce is due to the inappropriate manner in which people choose a mate. Indeed if we are calculating in designing our career and financial future, shouldn’t we be at least as deliberate in choosing the person with whom we will be spending the rest of our life?

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 221 pages
  • Publisher: Xlibris Corp; 2 edition (September 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1413420907
  • ISBN-13: 978-1413420906
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 5.8 x 8.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #12,077,037 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Midwest Book Review on February 7, 2004
Someone Right For You: 21st Century Strategies For Finding Your Special Someone by licensed psychologist, sex therapist, marriage and family therapist Edward A. Dreyfus, is a "reader friendly", no-nonsense guide to taking charge of one's life and one's pursuit of a lifelong mate. Stressing that better understanding oneself (while important and often necessary to breaking free of dysfunctional or ineffective relationship patterns), is not sufficient in and of itself - that action must be taken - Someone Right For You encourages people to make direct changes in their lives by actively seeking their mates in environments most conducive to the qualities they are truly looking for, rather than the same old singles bars. Someone Right For You features both expert advice for spouse-searchers of both sexes and insightful case studies - from the "party girl" who was putting out the wrong image to lure in husband material, to the domineering playboy who couldn't handle the types of women he thought he wanted, to the career-devoted woman who didn't truly desire marriage but felt pressured into the search by her mother and other influences, and whose breakthrough allowed her to acknowledge that all she truly wanted was occasional male companionship, not the demands of marriage. A must-read for anyone in the dating game, Someone Right For You is a much appreciated contribution to Human Sexuality reading lists and reference collections.
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