This beautifully illustrated, simple, clear story is designed to help a young child understand what has happened when there has been a pregnancy loss. The book addresses the sadness that a child experiences when the anticipated baby has died. The child's fears and feelings of guilt are addressed as well as other confusing feelings. Perhaps most important, the book includes the family's experience of going on with life while always remembering their baby. The child reading the book is left with a sense of reassurance that life continues and he is still a vital part of a loving family. Most pages include a box with words for parents. These words are there to help parents understand what their child might be experiencing and why the particular illustrations and text were chosen. They are right there on each page so that the parents don't miss them and can easily scan them while their children look at the illustrations. Children who have experienced a death in their family are very reassured by stories of other children who have had a similar experience. It helps them to understand better what has happened in their own family while at the same time offering the comforting knowledge that they are not alone in their feelings.
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About the Author
Cathy Blanford, has had over 20 years of experience working with grieving children. This work began in the 1980s when Cathy started Positive Care, a program for HIV+ children who were orphaned or separated from their birth families. As a part of her position with Lutheran Social Services of Illinois, Cathy found homes for the children and supported both the children and their families through the grieving process when a number of the children and their birth parents died due to AIDS. Cathy's work with grieving people continued in hospice. She served with Elmhurst Memorial Hospice in Elmhurst, IL as a chaplain and bereavement coordinator. Cathy founded and directed the Children Grieve Too grief groups at Elmhurst Memorial Hospice. She then founded and is currently directing the Tommy's Kids Support Group at St. Thomas Hospice in Burr Ridge, IL. Cathy is also currently serving as a bereavement counselor for Still Missed, a support program for families who have experienced pregnancy loss. This program is a part of the Adventist Hinsdale Hospital in Hinsdale, IL. Cathy wrote Something Happened after seeing the need families have to explain a sudden infant loss to their surviving children. Cathy has a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Development from Erikson Institute in Chicago, IL.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful
By MCB
Format:Perfect Paperback
After suffering a second trimester loss I had no idea how to explain to my 3 year old daughter what happened. She knew there was "a baby in mummy's tummy" and we had talked to her about what it would be like to be a big sister. She was excited and so were we. After the loss, I looked for books to cover the subject but all the talk of babies being angels instead and being in heaven, etc..did not feel right. I thought it would confuse my daughter rather then help her. My 3 year old does not understand the concepts of death, heaven, angels etc. So to have to explain it all PLUS the loss of our baby was too much. I stumbled over explanations for her at first, even telling her, "mummy thought she had a baby in her tummy but I didn't". I never thought she would question me and I thought she was young enough that she would forget about it. She didn't. She was smarter and more intuitive than I gave her credit for. She would ask me "Where did the baby go?" "Is he lost?" "Is he outside?". Her questions would break my heart. Finally 2 months after the loss I found this book. It fit my family's needs perfectly. It helped me give my 3 year old an honest, simple explanation of what happened. I felt right after reading her this book and giving her this explanation. It couldn't have been more perfect. We also have a dog like the family in the book does. I read the book a few times myself first and cried it all out. Make sure you read it by yourself first because it will make you cry. Then you can gain some composure before reading it to your child. I really feel this book helps bridge that gap for kids so young they don't know what death is but old enough to know "something happened". It helps you explain it all at once.... Read more ›
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hard topic (miscarriage) beautifully handled by expert grief counselor
February 25, 2008
Format:Perfect Paperback
This is a beautiful book with helpful, meaningful text and rich colors. It is intended for families that have suffered a miscarriage, and for parents who need a way to discuss the heart-wrenching topic with their young child who had expected to become a big brother or sister. We see the gentle story of a child who looks forward to the birth of his baby sibling. Then "something happens" and his mother is no longer pregnant. The child, like his parents, must deal with the loss.
Along with the read-aloud-story, there is additional text throughout that is not meant to be read aloud. It advises parents on why the text says what it says, and how the parent can sensitively help their child in additional ways. This is a much-needed book for parents who are struggling with their own grief and who want advice in how to help their children with their own pain. Gently and sensitively handled by an expert in childrens' grief.
Along with the read-aloud-story, there is additional text throughout that is not meant to be read aloud. It advises parents on why the text says what it says, and how the parent can sensitively help their child in additional ways. This is a much-needed book for parents who are struggling with their own grief and who want advice in how to help their children with their own pain. Gently and sensitively handled by an expert in childrens' grief.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
Format:Perfect Paperback
I hope you never need this book, though I'm glad it exists if you ever do. Cathy Blanford, a counselor for grieving children, has written a picture book explaining pregnancy loss or stillbirth to children (and it can be tweaked to explain neonatal death and infant death).
The book doesn't sugar-coat loss or present the concept of pregnancy loss in confusing analogies. Blanford writes in the foreword: "Many years of experience with grieving children have convinced me that this direct approach to the issues is what children, even very young children, need to help them understand and cope with death."
I was drawn into the story by the first line: "On the day it happened, everyone woke up happy." You learn about the pregnancy and subsequent loss from the son who was anticipating his sibling's birth. I think the strength of this book is that it doesn't make pregnancy loss a small blip on the screen of life and end with a new pregnancy. It ends with a confirmation that even though a loss has happened, the family continues even with this new missing piece.
On most pages, Blanford also includes a box of text for the parent to use to kick off a conversation with their child about the page or to understand how their child may process the book. All in all, a very helpful book for explaining loss to children especially because it is straightforward and secular and accessible to all. Age range: Most pages have a small amount of text BUT since the subject matter is advanced, I think it would be best for three and above. I could even see an older child wanting answers and sitting down with this picture book with a parent.
The book doesn't sugar-coat loss or present the concept of pregnancy loss in confusing analogies. Blanford writes in the foreword: "Many years of experience with grieving children have convinced me that this direct approach to the issues is what children, even very young children, need to help them understand and cope with death."
I was drawn into the story by the first line: "On the day it happened, everyone woke up happy." You learn about the pregnancy and subsequent loss from the son who was anticipating his sibling's birth. I think the strength of this book is that it doesn't make pregnancy loss a small blip on the screen of life and end with a new pregnancy. It ends with a confirmation that even though a loss has happened, the family continues even with this new missing piece.
On most pages, Blanford also includes a box of text for the parent to use to kick off a conversation with their child about the page or to understand how their child may process the book. All in all, a very helpful book for explaining loss to children especially because it is straightforward and secular and accessible to all. Age range: Most pages have a small amount of text BUT since the subject matter is advanced, I think it would be best for three and above. I could even see an older child wanting answers and sitting down with this picture book with a parent.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
Format:Perfect Paperback
So often the grief of parents who have experienced a miscarriage, still-birth, or death of newborn goes unacknowledged. The reactions of other children in the family are even more likely to be overlooked. How can parents help their other children understand and cope with this loss to a family? This book offers wonderful help. It not only tells a story that even very young children can understand in a way that reassures them, but, in separate text on most pages, it also provides insights to parents about what their child might be thinking or feeling. As a psychologist with a special interest in how children think, I was so impressed - both the story itself and the comments to parents are beautifully attuned to the emotional needs and the cognitive development of young children. These features, plus the breathtakingly beautiful drawings, make Something Happened a sensitive, wonderful gift. When you know someone who has experienced this sort of loss and think "What could I do to help?" - my answer is that you can listen with your heart to their story of grief - and you can give this book as a gift. - Madeleine Van Hecke, PhD
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Explaining a very difficult concept to a little one
I think this is a great book for a family with a toddler or pre-schooler after a pregnancy loss, a still born baby or the infant's death shortly after birth. Read more
Published 2 months ago by NanaD
5.0 out of 5 stars
Such a sweet book
I bought it for my niece after we lost her sister. Its comforting during one of the hardest moments in life. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Mommy2mygrls
4.0 out of 5 stars
Most age appropriate loss book for my 3 year old
We just lost our son at 4 days old due to severe congenital heart defects. Our living daughter is 3 (will be 4 in a couple months) and we were having a hard time finding a book... Read more
Published 21 months ago by WDEJ's Mom
5.0 out of 5 stars
So helpful to me and my children
After my miscarriage my two sons had two very different reactions. One was upset and would try to express his sadness, but was confused about what happened and why. Read more
Published on January 12, 2011 by Lisa Kirkland
5.0 out of 5 stars
A very helpful book for a very difficult situation
A friend told my spouse and me about this book, but we never thought we'd need a copy. Then a colleague and her husband lost their second son in childbirth. Read more
Published on September 26, 2010 by Jesse M. Kahn
1.0 out of 5 stars
Returned this book
We recently lost our coming baby. The worst part was telling my 4 living children. I bought this book hopeing that it would help my husband and I with such a difficult... Read more
Published on August 8, 2010 by Deven Vasko
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good book but not really for 1st trimester miscarriage.
I thought this book was very well written. When I was pregnant, I had this feeling that things weren't right so I started researching books on loss, not for me, but for my 6 year... Read more
Published on April 25, 2010 by E. Petrucelli
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