Customer Reviews

Something Like Beautiful: One Single Mother's Story

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3 star:		(7)
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asha bandele has given readers another wonderful book with Something Beautiful but be forewarned. Something Beautiful is a raw and up-close-and-personal look at bandele's life as the wife of a prisoner and a married yet `single mother.' She told her story very matter-of-factly, and with honestly that might make some flinch and others wonder `how could she be so open.' On the surface, she appeared to be very naïve and almost too casual regarding her affairs. Most of the time, the book while lyrically written, the storyline was very depressing. I kept looking for something to smile or laugh about but those moments were few and far in between. The highlight and joy of the book was asha's young daughter, although I felt as though bandele placed a heavy burden on her daughter. She lived for her daughter, which was fine, but at what point does living become controlling, suffocating and overbearing. Hopefully as her daughter matures, bandele will realize that in order for her daughter to blossom and mature into a beautiful, independent, spirited young lady she will need to be allowed to make her own mistakes.

Something Beautiful by asha bandele is a poignant and thought-provoking read that I recommend to those who enjoy memoirs and are fans of asha bandele.

It took me a bit of time to fall into this book, as it's written in, at times, a stream of thought way, with parts that are straight narrative and then parts that are thoughts and ideas and wishes, but in the long run, this format really works for this author. I felt how her circumstances took her into depression, and how she later came out of it. I did at times wish that I could hear the whole story of her life, as a one way tale, but I know that's not what this book was about. Perhaps her earlier books are, I will seek them out.

My favorite thing about this book was how it portrayed the joy of motherhood. I have read so many books where a parent seems to view their children as not central in their lives, although they would deny this like crazy. But Nisa is the center of asha's life (she writes her name in lower case). Nisa sounds like an amazing girl, one of those people born high energy and smart and engaged. Her part in helping her mother's depression, just by being herself, was something to read. It made me think as I often do about how children are born with personalities, that we might shape them some, but they are themselves from the start.

It's a sign of a good read that you want more. I want to know more about asha's life. If her other books don't answer my question, I hope she writes a full autobiography some day.

asha bandele wrote an intimate view of her life, from the time she a prisoner that would later become her husband, in Something Like Beautiful: One Single Mother's Story. When asha met Rashid she was at a place in her life where she was lonely and still hurting from childhood hurt and pain. That is the reason why being with a man who was sentenced to life in prison seemed like the life of the American dream.

asha wrote in poetic prose the reality of being a single mother battling life and depression. There is no doubt of the love asha has for Nisa, the daughter she conceived with Rashid. However, the main reason asha was able to get up and be a part of life was due to Nisa needing her.

Something Like Beautiful: One Single Mother's Story is a cry for help. Towards the end of the book asha realized that she had not completely healed from her pain, and feeling of abandonment as a child. She needed help; the kind that only a professional could give her. Though this book had some private moments that Nisa will appreciate when she is grown, other women fighting depression, abuse, and low self-esteem can benefit from reading it. The people around them can also learn some of the signs for a person crying out for help. I recommend asha's story to women who are suffering in anyway at all.

I started out reading this book with a bit of skepticism. I found it hard to understand what would compel an intelligent, well-educated woman to choose marriage to a prisoner, let alone parenthood. I finished it not only understanding more about why Ms. Bandele chose the life she did, and admiring her for managing to be a deeply loving and good parent to her daughter despite the struggles of depression and single parenthood. I very much enjoyed this book, and plan to read her previous book, The Prisoner's Wife.

asha's The Prisoner's Wife rocked me to my core...I carried its emotion, its power, & its grit in my spirit for months after I'd returned it to my bookshelf. It was, at once, familiar & foreign, unfathomable & understandable. Imagine my excitement when I read of Something Like Beautiful's impending release. I am pleased to say that ASHA BANDELE HAS DONE IT AGAIN. She skillfully shares with us the pain, frustration, growth, & joy experienced in her life with/since Rashid with revelatory acknowledgement of the restorative power that was found on her journey to loving & raising their child. This book is a must-read for mothers (particularly single ones), fathers, & anyone who claims to appreciate good writing. Bravissimo, asha !

Ever since I finished reading "The Prisoner's Wife," I have been waiting on the follow-up, so imagine my surprise when I read in ESSENCE that this long-awaited sequel would soon be released.

asha bandele did not disappoint.

"Something Like Beautiful" is a candid portrait that is unflichingly honest, poignant and poetic -- it's a story for ALL MOTHERS or anyone who has ever known the innocent, unconditional and all-encompassing love for a child. asha lets us into their lives, updating readers on her love affair/marriage with Rashid and the parallel lives she must lead in order to love/care for him as she love/cares for her daughter Nisa.

This single mother's story is touching and offers something like beautiful for those of us who are willing to be honest with ourselves and others.

asha bandele presents a fitting sequel to her 2003 memoir, The Prisoner's Wife, in a heart-rendering tribute to the reclamation of her life in Something Like Beautiful:One Single Mother's Story. Bandele picks up where she left off in TPW, attempting to make the best of her life with an incarcerated husband, Rashid, and a newborn daughter, Nisa. It appears that the illusion of a future perfect life is wearing off with the realization that if, and when Rashid is released, he very likely will be deported to his native country, Guyana.

When she finally gets an epiphany that the white picket fence eludes her--in fact that she has become the very statistic that she fears most, "single black mother," bandele, a journalist and writer, makes the decision to leave her marriage and immediately enters into another relationship. This new affair, that starts off so promising, becomes a nightmare of emotional and physical abuse that spirals into a long duration of self-loathing and depression. Through it all, her love for Nisa is undeniable and her daughter's well-being is first and foremost. This book is partly a tribute, an open love letter to her precious daughter, who, if not for her, bandele might have totally lost herself. Yet, just as she is about to topple off the ledge, her devotion to Nisa brings her upright, seeking help, real help to get to the root of her low self-esteem and low expectations of men and relationships, in general.

Poetic and lyrical, bandele's writing is compelling and emotional; this was like journal writings, so intimate were the details. I found some of the declarations of love for Nisa at times repetitious and over indulgent, and her resentment of the state of her marriage to be delusional and somewhat whiney. This was a catharsis for bandele and it seems she is on the right path to the journey of learning to love herself and be at peace with her life. Fans of bandele's writing will want to read this next chapter of her life; but I would also recommend that women who are in relationships with or considering being with an incarcerated man also read this book.

Dera R. Williams
APOOO Bookclub

bandele's book is a truly something like beautiful memoir about one womyn's journey into single motherhood as taught to her by her daughter's determination to love herself and embrace the world around her come what may. this is not a superwoman, down-trodden, glossing over or propping up of the stereotypical image of Black single motherhood. it is a sensitive and nakedly honest expression of the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial joys and challenges facing single mothers as they struggle to live, love and parent outside the boundaries of depression, invisibility, loneliness, chaos, family/friend expectations, lack of understanding and socio-political realities of prison, parole and deportation. this must read memoir is for all those daughters and mothers and sisters and care-takers of children who strive to provide for, protect, and love their children in the aftermath of unrecognized and unhealed deeply personal traumas. an easy page turner, this memoir offered me solace from way too many untold, unspoken and unwritten chapters of my life as a Black womyn, daughter and, in spite of what i envisioned for my children, a single mother, and so i cried silent tears of recognition and laughed out loud for myself and single mothers everywhere who triumph over some of the same hurts and obstacles that got in the way of asha bandele living and loving herself fully. i recommend "Something Like Beautiful" to others for the same reason.

As a male Caucasian non-parent, "Something Like Beautiful" affords me an artful "window" to feelings/emotions that I do not have from a perspective I could not otherwise imagine. Along the way, asha bandele paints a compelling personal picture of the enduring injustice of the American penal "system" and offers the inspiring example of her Existential growth in the face of it by virtue of love for her daughter. As such, it is a useful book and that would be the end of this review. But there is much more...

bandele's command of the English language is so dynamic and impressive that this book, in my estimation, stands as a "must read" for teachers and students of writing and literature. There is hardly a lame or ill-phrased sentence to be found in these almost-200 pages. Virtually every paragraph shines with artful word choices and the work moves forward with poetic tempo. "Awesome" is an over-used descriptor, but it's perfectly fitting in this instance. Bravo!

Author Asha Bandele's Something Like Beautiful, gives readers a look inside her life. This is the story of one mother who went through so many things and came through it all with a precious gift. She discusses her battle with depression, abuse and how she overcame it all.

This is a well written book that at times it feels as though the author wrote this in a diary. I would recommend it to not only single mothers, but anyone who is looking for a story of someone overcoming several obstacles. This is my first time reading this author, but it is definitely not the last time.