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Something Smells Like Pee: and Other Classy Observations [Kindle Edition]

Blythe Jewell
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $11.99
Kindle Price: $4.99
You Save: $7.00 (58%)
 
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Paperback $9.72  
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Book Description

Writer/artist Blythe Jewell presents a quirky selection of humor poems and illustrations about everything from killing plants to finding hair in all the wrong places. This is a quick, easy read filled with random, potty-mouthed, always silly, sometimes sweet observations.

The 60+ titles include "Hair in My Ass Crack,” “On Our Periods Together,” “Neil Patrick Harris Gets the Paddle,” “Leave the F*#&ing Cat Alone,” "Lollipop in My Hair" and many more.

It makes a great gift for moms and just about anyone else with a sense of humor... except maybe Kanye West. He doesn't seem to laugh much.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"What I thought before reading a word of this book: Oh, great. Mom poetry. I couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, it's poetry. Yes, it's for moms. But it's also wicked, and wickedly accurate. It's charming, but shocking. It's cold, but warm. It's uplifting, but heartbreaking. It's Shel Silverstein, but for moms only. It's just what you need after a horrible meeting, when the water heater goes, or when you feel invisible or unappreciated or misunderstood. It's a battle cry. It's Mom poetry!" - Peyton Price, author of the Suburban Haiku series

About the Author

Blythe Jewell is a freelance writer and editor who writes brilliant things randomly for no reason at all, but then draws a complete blank when she’s supposed to write something like this stupid bio. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband, son, pets and imaginary computer friends.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1236 KB
  • Print Length: 105 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1481215620
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00I8TSXAY
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #567,282 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh, How We Laughed February 12, 2014
By Laurie
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Something ALWAYS smells like pee in my life, and so I know. Blythe Jewell knows, too, and swears about it like a pro. You'll laugh in recognition and you'll want Blythe for a best friend. Just don't cut her off on the freeway and you'll be fine. Awesome fun.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A great coffee table book February 16, 2014
By Danny
Format:Paperback
A great bunch of funny poems to read whenever you need a laugh. When you are on your lunch break, at home, or on the toilet.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny, sometimes raunchy, poems about life March 13, 2014
Format:Paperback
Something Smells Like Pee by Blythe E. Jewell is a collection of hilariously funny and relatable poems about life. Seriously, I think she came over to my house and observed my life for a week. I have my own stalker! Who knew? I have searched the house for the smell of pee before, she has described my husband exactly, we must have been in the same row of traffic, and I want to pop off the head of the perfect perky mom too!

If you'd like to understand what I am talking about, you must read her collection of poems. I will warn you, they are not without the occasional (ok frequent) cuss word but I'm not sure you could remove them without taking something away from her poems. Haven't you ever just wanted to throw a $20 bill into the cuss word jar and have at it? Maybe this collection of poems is her way of doing just that.

To Blythe Jewell, I say thanks for speaking my mind. For the rest of you, I say pick up a copy of this satisfying expression of frustrations for yourself. You will have a good laugh.

This book was provided to me by the author through a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for my honest review.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I didn't laugh July 30, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
there was a lot of cussing and man-bashing. some is cute, after awhile though it seemed as if she co-host them simply because they rhyme.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A little Jewell July 19, 2014
By judithh
Format:Kindle Edition
I have found my twin. "They" (whoever the hell 'they' are) say that everyone has one. Blythe is mine. Her warped sense of humor and dented perspective made me feel right at home. This little collection is now my special friend. Anytime I feel misunderstood I'll know Blythe would understand. On the days when too many tragic news stories have me curled up in a ball on the floor, I'll scrape myself up, reach for my Kindle and read this book. During an average day when observing life, I'll think about her poems. I love, love, love how she thinks and expresses herself. There were many, many times I laughed so hard I gave myself a headache. Wonderful little treasure. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Blythe.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, I could not stop laughing!!! February 28, 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I love this book. The title is what got me. I started reading some of the poems while sitting on the couch next to my husband; and I could not stop laughing. Then I started reading some of the poems out loud to my husband; and then we both could not stop laughing. The author really tells it how it is. I felt like she had been to my house and seen how things are in my house. The author is willing to write in print all of the things I think every day but am unwilling to say, or write. I love it!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Made me LOL...litterally! February 18, 2014
By tbieck
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book had me laughing at nearly every page turn! There were some poems that were linked to current day "celebrities" (Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, etc) that said EXACTLY what most of us truly think! While I'm not a parent, there were other poems that I could completely relate to that are REAL and what parents deal with for their children. I loved the sarcasm and reality the author brought to each work! If you need a good laugh every now and then, read a few pages!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Witty! Clever! Sassy and Hilarious! July 8, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This collection of humorous, sassy poems was an unexpected delight! ...Blythe Jewell takes a look at our daily challenges and says exactly what she feels in a way that we can all relate...She is funny and smart, but her "cuss" jar is certainly full by now! She shares her love for her family and the joy of raising a messy little boy ....I highly recommend this cute book of witty poems!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great read! Hysterical insights that are true to any ...
This is a great read! Hysterical insights that are true to any family!
Published 2 months ago by Sherri L Napier
5.0 out of 5 stars Bwahahaha
Haven't all women thought the same thing? I loved it. Thank you, Blythe for sharing that with us.
Published 3 months ago by J. Leblanc
5.0 out of 5 stars Clever, Slightly Offensive & Hilarious
Where the Sidewalk Ends for grown-ups! Blythe Jewell' s book is perfect for those quiet moments on the toilet or to entertain you while eating alone in a restaurant (as long as... Read more
Published 6 months ago by FruGAL
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute and clever
Saw this book free on Amazon one day, and with a title like that, I thought, why not. Pleasantly surprised, it was a book of poems, like if Shel Silverstien or Dr Suess was a... Read more
Published 6 months ago by LilTurtleBug
5.0 out of 5 stars Hahahahahaha!
Love this book! Laugh out loud funny and you can pretty much relate to every poem in the book. I recommend it to all those wanting a good chuckle.
Published 7 months ago by Lisa
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute and crafty
Short vignettes that usually rhyme,
Little depressed I wasted my time.
Totally got where she tried to go
Loved her little artworks show
Truly glad this book was... Read more
Published 7 months ago by itllgetbetter
1.0 out of 5 stars this book sucks
with a story called "hair in my ass crack" this book had the earmark of the type of refined reading I enjoy. I had no idea that these ruminations were in poetry form . Read more
Published 7 months ago by HRH Spider
5.0 out of 5 stars Still laughing .....
I could relate to every poem in this book! As I read each one I was chuckling and thinking of who I wanted to share it with ... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Molly Bailey
5.0 out of 5 stars Move over Shel Silverstein
If you loved shel Silverstein as a kid (and adult) you will LOVE this book of poetry. I couldn't put it down!
Published 7 months ago by melissa
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny short read.
Published 7 months ago by savymama
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More About the Author

Blythe Jewell is a freelance writer and editor who writes brilliant things randomly for no reason at all, but then draws a complete blank when she's supposed to write something like this stupid bio. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband, son, pets and imaginary friends -- and despite what the picture to the left might suggest, she does actually have FIVE fingers on each hand.


For more obnoxious humor, read her insanely unpopular blog The Bean at www.themusicalfruit.net. For more about her freelance work, visit her slightly less ridiculous professional site at www.bejewell.me.

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