Songs from the Crystal Cave [Import]

Steven Seagal | Format: Audio CD

Product Details

• Audio CD (May 24, 2005)
• Number of Discs: 1
• Format: Import
• Label: Sony
• ASIN: B0009SQ520
• Also Available in: Audio CD  |  MP3 Download
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (79 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #382,858 in Music (See Top 100 in Music)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Conan Wants You to Buy This!, November 24, 2009

By 

Chaviva G. "The Kvetching Editor" (Teaneck, NJ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Songs from the Crystal Cave (Audio CD)

You must buy this. Why? Because Conan said to! Also, I think Steven Seagal has that new "Lawman" show which looks pretty gnarly.

258 of 317 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Giving hope to the morbidly obese, October 7, 2005

By 

basic "R4V4G3D_SKU11S" (Toronto, ON) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Songs from the Crystal Cave (Audio CD)

Dear Mr. Seagal,

Tuesday, February 12th, was a pretty average day for me. I woke up, brushed my teeth, had my morning glass of mayonnaise, put on my beret, tossed my scarf over my shoulder, heaved a heavy sigh and ventured out into the cold. The suspension on my electric scooter sagged deeply, not unlike my longing heart. While the vanity bumper sticker that Mother had bought me proclaimed "A smile a day keeps the doctor away", I was a very, very lonely 42 year old man. I was morbidly obese and quite frankly, I didn't have the most pleasant odour about me. I was lucky if even that kid with the club foot that everyone chased after school would wave to me when I passed.

Doing the rounds of my paper route, I rode by my local music store. I heard Something about Lollipops emanating from the speaker. I heard the low and shrill sound and it immediately began soothing my jangled nerves. Little did I know that this little piece of plastic, with the wondroous words and lyrics of Steven Seagal burned onto it for all of eternity with a laser, was soon to change my life.

I immediately got out of my scooter, ran into the store, took a few minutes to try to catch my breath. Finally I was able to gasp out to the clerk: "That Cd. That voice of the angels. I need to have it now". I bought several copies in case I became hungry on the way home. I rushed home, changed into my athletic gear and utility belt and immediately began doing pushups. It was like I was a man possesed. I didn't know it at the time, but this CD harnessed the work ethic, the martial arts prowess and, above all, the stunning handsomness and fashion sense of Steven Seagal into one small package. All that I had to do was press play and I was transformed into the essence of Casey Ryback, ex-navy seal, counter-terrorist expert and environmental mercenary.

To the sounds of Mr.Seagal I was able to shed my weight and began taking daily showers. I now entertain several women per week, sometimes even several per day. I am making over $5000 a week stuffing envelopes from home. My life has become full of many smiles a day, and I look forward to each day with more anticipation than the last. I owe it all to the inspiring and electrifying work being done each and every day by Steven Seagal.

Thank you, Steven Seagal.

Your friend in arms,

Kevin Keast, Toronto, Ontario

41 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best thing since Leonard Part 6 got released on DVD, October 7, 2005

By 

Sofa King Mo Ronic "Boo-urns" (carmen, san diego) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Songs from the Crystal Cave (Audio CD)

I must say, after several listens in the comforts of my mom's basement and while drinking unsweetened grape Kool Aid from a goblet I made for a lady friend who didn't want it nor me, this album makes The Beatles look like The Monkees. Mr. Seagal, who is able to hit the high notes as if he was eunuch, really made me yorn for the days of when The Torkelsons was still on tv. This man needs to go on tour sharing his gift like Tom Cruise shares herpes. Bravo, ol' chap. Bravo.