Songs from Nowhere Near the Heart [Paperback]

Jon Baird (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 18, 2001

In the dark overlap between music and industry, there dwells a group of people whose lives and dealings are every bit as commonplace and fantastic, as high-flung and ridiculous, as noble and sordid as the stories they inspire. Don, Ross, and Chavez comprise Seventeen; Neil, Mika, Darcy, and Darren make up Limna. One is a hard-working club band committed to a music-first agenda and convinced by wily manager Deedee Vanian that this is indeed the road they're on. The other is an unapologetically commercial construct, pieced together and driven into the market by professional hitmakers and by manager Annika Guttkuhn, herself a "discovery" and protegee of Deedee's. Competing for the same recording contract, the two acts are combined on a single bill and booked for a string of appearances from New England to Florida.

But who has orchestrated the ill-fated trip, and why? How far can Annika push her act, armed with nothing but an imaginary following and her trumped-up press releases? And why should Don fro Seventeen be her chief coconspirator? Songs from Nowhere Near the Heart presents an unforgettable and richly textured cast of characters, each trying to outwit and outflank the others, for reasons and with results that won't become entirely clear before a final, hilarious sequence of events in rural Florida.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A fictional alt-rock band with the same name as the author's real alt-rock band battles a fake alt-rock band for fans and record sales in this manipulative second novel by Baird (Day Job). The group Seventeen is managed by Machiavellian Dennis Freedman, better known as Deedee Vanian, who signs them to a not-so-lucrative deal and then assigns his flaky assistant, Annika Guttkuhn, to run their day-to-day affairs. Seventeen's initial gigs are a mess, including a show in Providence that ends in a near-riot, so as part of a convoluted plan, Vanian creates a rival group called Limna that features the tortured musings of Seventeen's hunky former lead singer, Neil Ramsthraller. Tension levels rise when the two groups hit the road together, and the tour culminates in a wild gig in Florida that seals the fates of both bands. Baird paints a decidedly nasty portrait of the alternative music scene as a claustrophobic world in which bands are used and abused on a regular basis, and he tosses out some incisive commentary on the ins and outs of the music business. But the shaky, threadbare "battle of the bands" plot not to mention a cast of limited, unlikable characters makes this a trying read, and Baird doesn't add much to his account beyond his obvious disdain for the industry. He further muddies the waters with a slew of po-mo tricks mostly odd graphic effects, including grainy black-and-white photos and a bizarre assortment of footnotes. The results are at times witty and disturbing, but finally uneven and too disjointed to appeal to those outside the music business. (May 1)Forecast: Seventeen is an actual band (with an album, Bikini Pie Fight) featuring Baird as a singer/guitarist, and whether or not the novel is a cleverly cynical marketing tool, it comes off that way. Strictly for fans.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Hard-rocking band Seventeen keeps losing members to major record labels. Brothers Don and Ross, along with friend Chavez, have a deal with a small label, but their best efforts to get a contract with Mind Control Records (and make enough money to buy a new van) are threatened by former band-mate Neil and his new band, Limna. Seventeen's eccentric manager, DeeDee (who blindly follows the advice of his company's female janitor), sends them out on one more tour to get a recording contract. Filled with sidebars, font changes, and captioned photographs, Baird's book reads more like a series of anecdotes than a novel. Told by each of the main characters in turn, complete with their own handwritten notes and photographs, the alternating narration makes for some repetition and confusing story lines. But the disjointed telling also achieves the feel of a band with big-time hopes on a small-time tour. With a connoisseur's knowledge of pop music, an insider's take on the recording industry, and passionate, peculiar characters, Baird's second book will appeal to fans of Chuck Palahniuk and Nick Hornby. John Green
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (May 18, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312272073
• ISBN-13: 978-0312272074
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,855,347 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Funnier than 'the Ground Beneath Her Feet'..., July 16, 2001

By 

R. von Kries "vonbox" (Smith Harbor, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Songs from Nowhere Near the Heart (Paperback)

A funny book by any standard, Songs from Nowhere Near the Heart is even funnier to anyone who has had any experience watching small struggling bands try to convince themselves and their audience that they should be stars. A timely satire of the current state of the alternative rock world where label consolidation threatens to truly turn musicians into little more than commodities, this book tells the story of two bands battling to not get dropped by their record label. The book is essentially a continous series of viqnettes, using multiple narrators to tell the story as it unfolds. The main text is interspersed with sidebars explaining references to earlier events, places, reviews, etc... In the hands of a bad writer, this format could have easily resulted in a confusing or disjointed book, but Baird uses it to flesh out the world the bands live in without bogging down the main flow of the story. This is helped by the use of good graphic design- the sidebars are made to look as though they were clippings or post-it notes pasted into the book.

The best reason to buy Songs from Nowhere Near the Heart however is that Baird is himself (allegedly) a struggling rock musician, and clearly deserves support for writing a hilarious book while presumably driving around from college town to college town in a dented old Econoline, sleeping on friend's or friends' of friends couches and living on cigarettes, cheap beer and pizza.