Songs of Three Islands: A Story of Mental Illness in an Iconic American Family [Hardcover]

Millicent Monks (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 22, 2010

Millicent Monks was born into one of the most famous families in America; her great-grandfather was the brother of Andrew Carnegie. Their fabled wealth enabled them to amass great houses and even private islands, but it was a dynasty torn apart by a succession of tragedies: suicide, alcoholism, and extremities of mental illness were passed on from generation to generation.

For the women in the family, the consequences of this legacy have been painful. After a difficult childhood, the author’s daughter was diagnosed at the age of eighteen with what is now known as borderline personality disorder, a debilitating mental illness that was for the parents—in the words of the novelist Sebastian Faulks—"a public shame as well as private devastation." Like all mothers of children afflicted with this condition, Monks suffered from guilt and self-recrimination as she struggled to heal a disease that had no cause but for which she was held responsible.

In the end, through the intervention of a wise Jungian therapist, meditation, and—most important of all—acceptance, the author achieves a self-insight that enables her and her daughter to arrive at a delicate peace. Songs of Three Islands powerfully demonstrates that we are not defined by our inheritance alone.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

According to Monks, her mother, Lucy Carnegie, spent her childhood not on Florida's tony Cumberland Island, but "where sharks swam up in the spring to give birth and foolish young cousins swam in the warm waters." The Carnegie family's vast wealth "created a Brigadoon-like fantasy, which they could never leave because they couldn't function in the outside world." Monks's mother suffered from mentally illness; her father "brought mistresses to dine;" as an adolescent, Monks locked herself in her room nurturing a fear that she would look in the mirror and see her mother looking back. Her parents divorced and her mother married a man who later killed himself. Eventually, Monks married and had a daughter who struggled with drugs, alcohol, and the same depression that Monks has fought all her life. The family illness has deep roots, we learn; the hospital where Monks sends her daughter for treatment has treated at least four other relatives. This tiny but powerful book is most riveting when dealing with the famous but fractured family and not with Monks's more recent life, which includes consultations with mystics and audiences with Deepak Chopra.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Millicent Monks is a writer and artist. She is married to Robert Monks, the author of several books on corporate governance. They live on an island off the coast of Maine.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Atlas; First Edition edition (June 22, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1934633348
• ISBN-13: 978-1934633342
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #349,625 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A journey through darkness, August 12, 2010

By 

Roger L. Johnson "The Counselor" (Garland, TX USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Songs of Three Islands: A Story of Mental Illness in an Iconic American Family (Hardcover)

This is the story, narrative, journey of Millicent Monks. Call it what you will it is a fascinating story of, as she calls it "a story mental illness in an iconic American family." She is the great granddaughter of the brother of Andrew Carnegie. The book chronicles the lives of her mother herself and her daughter. As a therapist I found the book to be extremely engaging. Millicent chronicles the guilt and shame she experienced in being disengaged from a mother who at the best suffered from major depressive disorder and at the worst schizophrenia. Her mother is not alive to attempt diagnosis.
Millicent recounts that she was born at the end of the dpression which would put her roughly in her 80's at this point. The book is written with an excellent grasp of the history of one's family. Specifics and details abound.
Millicent (I feel I am so familiar with her life that I can refer to her by her first name) moves from her own life to the life of her daughter. Millicent posits a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder for Sandra her daughter. She chronicles the stays in various mental institutions and the ensuing alcohol abuse. This book is a study in the genetic/environmental transmission of mental illness. This disorder passed through three generations from grandmother to grand daughter.
If you appreciate excellent writing you will thoroughly enjoy this book. The detail, the vividness, the ethos is brought out in every word. Millicent's journey through mental affliction herself is a journey of courage hope and strength. The use of words places one in the very spot she is portraying and helps the reader to appreciate that she knows of what she speaks. In my humble opinion a true wordsmith crafted this book. I understand editorial contribution but I don't think an editor could have suggested or even written in the vividness that encapsulates this book. If you have any compassion for those who struggle with mental illness you owe it to yourself to be come acquainted with Millicent's journey. I highly, highly recommend the book

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Borderline Personality Disorder is an equal opportunity mental illness, September 12, 2010

By 

Valerie Porr - See all my reviews

This review is from: Songs of Three Islands: A Story of Mental Illness in an Iconic American Family (Hardcover)

The subject of Songs of Three Islands is the devastation that Borderline Personality Disorder creates in families as well as the individual sufferer, not simply a voyeuristic window into the wealth and privilege of the Carneige family. This book clearly shows us that no one is immune from the ravages BPD creates in a family. It took a great deal of courage for Millicent Monks to reveal her family history to the public. What did she have to gain by exposing this information to a star struck public that seems to be more focused on her family secrets than on the pain and suffering due to BPD that she reveals in this book?

I am the Founder of the TARA National Association for BPD, an education and advocacy organization that helps people with BPD, their loved ones and the researchers and clinicians who help them. I am also the author of Overcoming BPD, A Family Guide for Healing and Change. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change The Monk-Carneige family experiences with BPD are not unique. I have known families to mortgage their homes and deplete their finances in search of help only to be bilked by non-evidence based practitioners who provide iatrogenic treatment, harming not helping. Milly's story is everyone's story. This book exposes the pain caused by seeing a loved one suffer, being helpless to alleviate that suffering and then be blamed for it. This attitude persists today with mental illnesses and, unfortunately, families of people with BPD are at the head of the class. Let us not forget the grief endured by those parents of autistic children labeled "Ice box mothers" or the parents of schizophrenics called "schizophrenogenic mothers.

I am personally acquainted with Millicent Monk and her family and have seen, first hand, their desire to help their loved ones and understand this disorder. In Sally Bidell Smith's book, Diana, Portrait of a Troubled Princess, she reveals how the diagnosis of BPD affected the life of Princess Diana and her loved ones. BPD is an equal opportunity disorder. Money and power do not guarantee better treatment nor do they protect the sufferer. We at TARA thank Millicent Monk for her courage in bringing BPD out of the shadows in an effort to help others. She has become an advocate for people with BPD and their families. She asks me this question, 'where are all the other families affected by BPD" WE hope the notoriety of the Carneige name will help people understand BPD


Valerie Porr,MA
Pres./Founder TARA NAPD

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Passing down the genes that cause mental illness, October 11, 2010

By 

Beth K. Webb (Edmonds, WA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Songs of Three Islands: A Story of Mental Illness in an Iconic American Family (Hardcover)

As one who has persons with mental illness in her family, the book was very insightful. I found myself nodding in agreement with much that the author had to say. However, I also found myself wanting to know more about the author's characteristics of her own illness and how her husband coped with it. It is amazing that she and her husband stayed married through their trying situation with their daughter. It is a quick read and not a bit boring.