Customer Reviews

Sorrow's Web : Overcoming the Legacy of Maternal Depression

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Sheffield's biggest contribution may offering an answer to those who have struggled with chronic depression: "Why have I always felt so strange? Where did this all come from?" In other words, the fallout from living with a mother who is depressed -- even someone who has never been identified as "depressed" -- can have lifelong consequences. The book will probably convince those who have been reluctant to get treatment to do so. Much of the rest is a standard round-up of recent literature and the usual advice on what to do when you are depressed --take medication, find a therapist - maybe. Despite its failings and its occasionally cutesy writing, it's probably the book about depression that has been the most personally helpful. I'd give this five stars for the idea and three for the execution.

This balanced, frank, and insightful account will make a difference in a lot of lives. Thoroughly explores and illustrates the many aspects and consequences of maternal depression in detail, is packed with valuable observations and information - no wasted words here. Devoted to straight talk. Sheffield offers knowledgeable support to her reader, does not flinch from using her own experiences to illustrate her points, and provides clear, practical advice on therapy choices with no waffling on any of the challenges we will meet in seeking the right treatment for ourselves or others close to us. Provides lists of resources for information, newsletters, local support groups. An illuminating and much needed book.

Sorrow's Web -- the book I've needed to read for decades. Ms. Sheffield deals with the subject of growing up with a depressive mother in such an insightful, intelligent, and honest way! I found recognition, understanding and comfort from her combination of the personal and the more "scientific" information. I urge mothers, daughters, sons -- and, yes -- fathers, to read this book. It has the potential profoundly affect your life and the life of those you love most.

This is an extraordinary book -- sensitive, revealing and READABLE. I only wish I had it thirty years ago!

To me, this author is dangerously misinformed. There are two reasons I believe this.

First, she seems preoccupied with protecting mothers, which has been done for far too long. Parents don't need excuses for passing on depression; they need solutions, and the only solution for depression begins with examining your childhood in order to recognize the source of your trauma so that you can properly mourn what is lost. It is only after going through a mourning process for the childhood you missed out on because of your mother's depression that you can begin to feel your full spectrum of feelings.

I believe that depression is not the same as sadness. Depression is a distance from one's true self - a confusion of sorts. It is an unhealthy state. Sadness, on the other hand, is a healthy state, one that comes and goes in all humans. The author seems either to not know or not agree with this viewpoint, which makes the entire basis of the book ill-informed. In my opinion, children of depressed mothers are depressed because they have not been given proper nurturing to access their true selves, having instead to take care of their mothers in some form for most of their lives.

The second reason I find this book dangerous is that the author appears to believe
that medication is a viable solution for depression. In my opinion, medication merely masks the problem, preventing you from coping with your depression. It's OK to mask depression sometimes - who wouldn't - but taking pills every day so that you can blunt the pain is just like being an alcoholic: it doesn't solve anything.

I believe this book cannot help a reader, except temporarily, like a good conversation with a friend would. If there are others out there that feel this book has had a long-lasting effect on their lives months or years afterwards, please chime in here. I just can't picture that. Worse, it is possible that some readers will gain further justification from this book to keep ignoring the reasons for their depression, which lie in childhood and in their mother's mistreatment of them.

Overall, I give it 2 stars because it's written well and the author seems to mean well. But it doesn't strike the nerve of the problem. For a book that truly does, see The Drama Of The Gifted Child by Alice Miller.