Customer Reviews

I'm Sorry You Feel That Way: The Astonishing but True Story of a Daughter, Sister, Slut, Wife, Mother, andFriend to Man and Dog

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Diana Joseph's I'm Sorry You Feel That Way is my new Favorite Book. By that, I mean Favorite Ever, the kind I talk about incessantly, whip out and read aloud, buy for my friends and family and generally insist everyone I know stop everything they're doing and read now (the last one was Jeannette Walls' The Glass Castle).

Lest you think that's hyperbolic, let me tell you when this book is so amazing. Firstly, I read a lot of memoirs, and even the most compelling ones can take on a certain sameness: I did this, I went through tragedy, I did this. Not to knock the genre, because I gravitate towards it, but what Joseph's done here is to turn the memoir on its head. On the surface, these are character studies of the men in her life, and as character studies, they should themselves be studied by fiction writers for their fine detail, their knack of getting inside her subjects' heads, whether it's her ex-husband, son, Satanist neighbor, or dog.

But then Joseph manages to bring the topic at hand back to herself in ways that are subtle yet extremely powerful. She talks about what these men (and animals) mean to her, how she is like them and different from them, what she gets out of her relationships with them, the complexity of the love she feels for them. In the process, she touches on sex, religion, family, motherhood, daughterhood, smoking, work, and pet ownership.

My favorite chapter by far is "The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No," about looking at her son's yearbook with him, and trying to grapple with her own past as a slut (or perhaps a "slut") while conveying to him why judging women on their sexuality is wrong. Her writing is blunt, direct, and powerful. The scant few sentences about her being date raped are ones that linger in their scarcity.

I skipped around these essays, which Joseph makes it easy to do. Together, they cohere and make a narrative of a woman who got married and became a mom in her early twenties, was miserable and lonely and often lost-feeling, drank a lot, but got her bearings (her essay about her former colleague and how his alcoholism separated them is moving in its calm tragicness) and became a professor. I left the essay "Humping the Dinosaur" for last; I started it, but since I'm not a dog person and I thought it was about her dog (which it is), I kept putting it off. When I finally got to it, it contained a paragraph about crying, about losing it, about worrying incessantly, that was as honest and true and easily relateable as the rest of the book. That's the magic here; a chapter on her dog's humping problem is also about how she copes with stress.

By taking the winding road to tell her stories, Joseph makes us pause and truly look at the people she trains her pen on. Her compassion for them, her insight into what makes them tick, and why she's drawn to them, is at the heart of this book. Please do yourself a favor and check out I'm Sorry You Feel That Way. I have a feeling it just may become your new favorite book too.

is the catchy title of Diana Joseph's book of essays about her life. Subtitled The Astonishing But True Story of a Daughter, Sister, Slut, Wife, Mother, and Friend to Man and Dog, Joseph recounts incidents from her life that made her the woman she is.

The book is an honest, funny and touching look at Diana's life. Her father, a man who preferred to be sans shirt most of the time, gave his twelve-year-old daughter some advice on boys: "Don't be a pig". Translation: Don't be a slut. She didn't take his advice, and frequently her choices in men were questionable.

She calls her now-teenage son 'the boy', and her description of raising a son mostly on her own reminded me of Anne LaMott's writing on the same topic. Single moms trying everyday to do their best, but struggling with not having enough money, exhaustion, depression and loneliness. She is not a matryr, just a human being.

Joseph is remarkably honest in her assessment of herself and others, and that is the strength of her book. She has the ability to see the good and bad that exists in all of us, and expresses that in her unique way.

The last essay of the book, 'Ten Million, At Least', is the most moving. Joseph lives with literature professor Al, a good guy who loves her and her boy. They love each other, but they also have their differences, which makes it difficult at times to cohabitate. If you don't tear up at the last two pages, you simply aren't human.

Diana Joseph has spent much of her life around men- her dad, her brothers, lovers, and her son- and that has colored the way she sees the world. Her book is an honest look at how a modern woman deals with bad habits, depression, sex, love, crummy jobs, poverty, pets, loneliness, rock and roll and family. It's humorous and moving, just like life. If you are a fan of David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell, add Diana Joseph to your reading list.

Let's get down to brass tax...Diana Joseph's I'm Sorry You Feel That Way is a damn fine book.

Excuse my lack of eloquence in my praise, I'm no Richard Ford (have you read that blurb? Goodness!), but this book has the grit, charm, humor and heart you want from any book. And it's those qualities, particularly the blue-collar aspects, that set this apart from other essay collections.

The essay collections I've read always seem outside the realm of my world. As good a writer as David Sedaris is, it's impossible for me to identify with him over his problems of living in a cottage in France, or traveling to Japan to quit smoking. And because he's the vanguard of essayists, it gives the whole essay genre an air of privilege, or a kind of cultural superiority. I'm Sorry You Feel That Way is rooted in a much more real, Roseanne Barr, middle-class America world. And I'm thankful for it. This grit contributes to that felt trueness that lurks in all of these essays, like the best Bruce Springsteen songs, that I'm sure Joseph knows the lyrics to.

These essays on the men of Diana Joseph, from her trench-footed son, to the lumberjack ex-husband, to her obscene brother, to God on high, all are so honest and heartfelt, you just want to give Diana a hug afterwards and say, "I know exactly what you mean." And I don't have brothers, or an ex-husband, or a teenage son, or much of a sexual history. This speaks to the authority, beauty and power of these essays.

Essentially, this crosses boundaries of typical "audience" issues. If you think of a book like Sloane Crosley's I Thought There'd Be Cake. There you have cutesy stories aimed at urbane women with an extra 12 dollars in their pocket, and that book never delivers above that to anything of any actual depth or meaning. I'm Sorry You Feel That Way goes so far beyond surface level concerns of the modern, educated woman that anyone from the woman-hatingest Philip Roth character to the stereotypical Oprah zealot, will feel the emotional resonance at work here.

But, even if you want to quibble with my position that as an essay collection this finally offers something different and substantive to the genre...the book is still hilarious. I don't want to spoil any of those parts for you, but I'll say this...the dog essay. I'd like to see Cesar Milan try that on one of his pooches.

The only knock I can think of against this collection is Joseph's list-like style, and penchant for whole names. It adds an interesting rhythm at times, but other times it feels a bit forced, and I wondered at its function. Kind of like a hood ornament on an expensive car. Yeah, it looks nice, but the car is a Mercedes already, so is it really necessary? But that also speaks to the strength of the essays...I mean, after all, if you're only complaining about the hood ornament, then you got yourself one fine machine.

In "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way," Diana Joseph provides us with a peek into her comic/tragic, fascinatingly neurotic life. Her wry sense of humor shines through, as does her huge heart and her fears. I could really relate to her and was surprised frequently by how often our lives seemed to have touched upon the same issues - I then stumbled across a paragraph that mentioned she was born in July of 1970, same as I, which was really a surprise.

Her essays range from the hysterically funny to the down-right sad. I laughed until I cried at "Humping the Dinosaur" and later in the same essay almost cried in earnest because some of what she said so touched me.

Ms. Joseph is NOT politically correct; she is often vulgar and makes statement that would make many people cringe. If you are a highly sensitive person, in the matter of political correctness, you probably should just skip this book. But if you are willing to open your heart and mind to what she has to say, I think you'll find Ms. Joseph's book a wonderful addition to your library.

I love reading non-fiction, and in particular memoirs, and in particular memoirs of "average", or should I say, lesser-known or unknown people. It's in that spirit that I picked up this book.

In "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way" (208 pages), author Diana Joseph brings us 15 slices (chapter) of her life, in seemingly no particular order. Each chapter is pretty much self-contained and can be read onto itself as there is little to no narrative thread in the book. The first chapter "Tongue Twister, Tongue Tied" focuses on her relationship with her dad. The second chapter "The Boy" deals with her son (who is not named in the book). There are several other chapters focusing on her son, actually. "These days, some of my biggest concerns are with his politics, his vision for the future, who or what he is versus who or what he might become." There are chapters on her brothers, a colleauge at work, etc. Then there are the chapters dealing with the men in her life; interestingly she names then with both first and last names. "Karl Bennett and I both live in western Colorado, where we moved in 1996, separated in 1997, tormented each other in 1998 and officially divorced in 1999." Wow. Straight and to the point.

It makes one wonder what drives someone to write such a deeply personal, almost confessional memoir. I imagine that "the boy" (who by now is 17) will cringe at some of the things his mom writes in here. As for the rest of us, this is a quick and engaging read, perfect for summertime reading.

Ms. Joseph makes me very appreciative of being married to my wife for 27 years. The book is bust-a-gut funny while also being sad and tender. The cigarette addicted woman certainly has oodles of personal issues but writing isn't one of them. In short, concise sentences, she takes the reader through a handful of male relationships which have made an impression on her. Her dad, ex-husband, son, boyfriends, friends and a few acquaintances have the misfortune are being described by the author. They are given some positive attributes, but for the most part, the quirkier aspects of the men's habits are given center stage. Ms. Joseph's sarcastic, self-deprecating approach in conjunction with her humorous vignettes make for a pleasant, easy read. You won't need a dictionary for this sucker. Many women will feel superior to the author because Ms. Joseph fits the mold of a stereotypical, insecure, flighty artist. Men will like it because they can stick this book under the nose of their significant other and say, "Read this. You could have hooked up with someone like this schmo." The memoir is a light, hilarious, tender confession. It was a helpful respite during a family illness. That in itself was worth shelling out money for the book.

In 15 highly entertaining segments, Ms. Joseph shares stories and characters from her unorthodox life. She has a wonderful ability to mix hilarity with pathos. The result being that many times you find yourself feeling great sympathy for her and the subjects of her story yet laughing uproariously at their blight.

Each chapter in the book features a different character. The characters range from her two pack-a-day bare chested father to her oft married/oft divorced ex-husband to her Devil loving upstairs neighbor to, most memorably, "the boy" her pro-NRA reactionary-conservative son. Ms. Joseph tells their stories (and hers) in a straight forward manner. Her descriptions of personalities and events are almost brutally unsympathetic. She allows the reader to make what they will of these people and of her story. (Though it is hard to imagine that anyone with an ounce of compassion or experience will be anything less than understanding and amused by most of her stories.) Not all of the chapters are humorous, "The girl who only sometimes said no" comes late in the book and casts a poignant shadow over the entire work.

Ms. Joseph is a talented writer, a gifted story teller and a woman who lives on her own terms.

I'm an only child. I was raised by three women. I went to an all girl Catholic school. I have two daughters.

So it was with absolute delight that I devoured Diana Joseph's dark, funny, and always wise romp through the world of masculinity. She introduces us to the men in her life -- brothers, dads, kids, lovers, even dogs -- with fierce honesty and deep humanity. She lets us laugh at life while never going for the smug or easy jibe. Can humor have heart? It ought to. And in Joseph's hands, it does.

A friend of mine recommended this book to me. At first, with the first couple chapters, I was a little disappointed but as i got farther into the book I was pleasantly surprised. Loved the author's voice and variety.

Also, I would reccomend this to anyone who enjoyed "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" or "How Did You Get This Number", both by Sloan Crosley

I believe that no life is too dull or uninteresting to be worth writing about -- if you highlight the fascinating detail. "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way" serves as a prime example. Although Diana Joseph's life sounds like one that could spark a memoir of surviving dysfunction, in most respects it also sounds like one that most people would consider utterly plain and ordinary. Diana makes that ordinariness shimmer with fascination. She's a master of the telling trivial detail that breathes life and personality into her characters. For example, her father liked tongue twisters and always removed his shirt upon arriving home. He hated dust on top of the grandfather clock and pork chops that had been frozen. Karl Bennet was a buyer of NRA collectible commemorative coins. The boy doesn't like skateboarders because they smoke weed, and he would be shocked to know that there were boys and girls who thought his mother was a slut.

Aside from her gift for the telling detail she deviates from the standard memoir path of recording a continuous story. Instead, she has created a series of discrete essays comprising a collage of her life -- or at least part of her life. Her subtitle, "The Astonishing but True Story of a Daughter, Sister, Slut, Wife, Mother, and Friend to Man and Dog" contains a hidden clue to the contents. She does not mention that she is Friend to Woman, nor does she make more than passing mention of women in the book. This is a story of her life as defined by the men in it and her relationships with them. Her mother is barely mentioned. Even the chapter titled `Mary, Queen of Arkansas,' is about Bruce Springsteen, the boy (her son), Al, and Mr. Schatz. Even her dog, who has a nasty habit of humping anything and everything, especially a stuffed dinosaur, is male.

But make no mistake. This memoir is more than a collection of descriptions of men. Indeed, she displays a genius for using each of them, whether man, boy or dog, as mirrors of her psyche. Each showcases a different facet of her likes, dislikes, fears, fancies, vulnerabilities, foibles, and general zaniness. Each essay stands on its own as a gem of self-containment, written in a strong, compelling voice, neatly bordered and complete within itself, while gradually building on the ones that came before. Each combines her delightfully dry and gentle self-deprecating humor with her astute eye for detail and knack for creating a well-arranged portrait of diverse elements.

I recommend this book as a great read for anyone. It can also serve as a powerful case study for aspiring memoirists in search of an alternate way to structure their stories, or those who would simply write compelling personal essays.