Do you fear that God is angry with you? Do you wonder if God is really you? if God really loves you? Deep down many of us believe that we are not good enough, and never will be good enough, to have a meaningful relationship with God. This is because we have been spiritually trained in ways that have left us with distorted and inadequate spiritualities of four different kinds: And we are left with a toxic combination of fear and shame. We may try to get it right. We may try to control ourselves and others. We may try to please God and to earn God's love. After a while we find ourselves exhausted and discouraged, and we may feel even more alienated from God. Jeff VanVonderen, Dale Ryan and Juanita Ryan understand this problem because they have been there both personally and professionally. And they are prepared to help you rebuild your spiritual life. If you find yourself living out a burdensome and unfulfilling spirituality, this book is for you. If you are longing to have a relationship with God that works, this book can show you the way.
Soul Repair: Rebuilding Your Spiritual Life
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Jeff VanVonderen is a speaker and consultant in the areas of addiction, family systems and recovery. He is one of the featured interventionists on the Arts & Entertainment Network show Intervention. He is the author of Good News for the Chemically Dependent, Families Where Grace Is in Place, When God's People Let You Down, Tired of Trying to Measure Up and The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.
Dale Ryan is CEO of Christian Recovery International, based in Southern California. He is also an assistant professor of recovery ministry and director of the Fuller Institute for Recovery Ministry at Fuller Theological Seminary. He has consulted with ministries in several countries who are seeking to develop support groups for alcoholics and addicts and their families. He is a coauthor of The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Kindergarten, Rooted in God's Love and Bible study guides published by InterVarsity Press.
Juanita Ryan is a clinical nurse specialist with an M.S.N. in psychiatric mental health nursing. She has taught mental health nursing at Bethel University, Rio Hondo Community College and Biola University. She is currently a therapist in private practice at Brea Family Counseling Center in Brea, California. She is the author or coauthor of over thirty InterVarsity Press Bible studies.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
32 of 32 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
One of the many things I like about SOUL REPAIR is the honesty of its
authors. For example, Dale Ryan talks about a time when he was experiencing
distress over God's silence toward him:
"While God still seemed to have nothing to say, his followers could not stop
talking. Everyone had something to say, a verse to read or advice to give. .
. . The advice was glib, dismissive and shaming. . . . I put these people on
a list of people not to be trusted again with my spiritual struggles. . . .
I was still pretty sure I knew what God would say to me, if anything. God
would surely browbeat me by saying something like, 'Think of everything we
could have gotten done while you wasted all this time! I've been here all
along. Where have you been?' These were the messages I expected to receive.
But if God had spoken too soon, too glibly or in such a shaming manner, I
know what I would have done. I would have added God's name to the list of
people who could not be trusted with my spiritual brokenness" (pp. 114-115).
For many of us, God has at times seemed silent, distant, and uncaring, leaving us
feeling alone, confused, and perhaps angry or fearful. The authors have
experienced these feelings at times in their own spiritual journeys, but
they do not give us quick fixes or tell us what to do more of. They know
from experience that increasing the amount or the intensity of our spiritual
practices--praying more, reading the scriptures more, going to church more,
serving others more--tends to do nothing but leave us exhausted. Instead,
they help us rest--by learning how to recognize and say no to the false gods
that we may be unknowingly serving, and how to say yes each day to the God
who daily offers us love and grace.
As a spiritual director, I've found SOUL REPAIR to be a rare treasure. Free
of religious jargon, it provides wisdom and practical tools for me as I help
others to draw closer to God and as I seek to be honest in my own
relationship with God. But I have at least one other reason for loving the
book: I sometimes pick it up and open it at random just to enjoy the waves
of grace that flow from every page of text. SOUL REPAIR is a must-read for those who
want to follow Jesus more closely and are willing to do some honest
self-probing. It is also for ministers, spiritual directors, therapists,
leaders of spiritual formation groups, leaders of support groups, and anyone
else who provides spiritual support to others.
authors. For example, Dale Ryan talks about a time when he was experiencing
distress over God's silence toward him:
"While God still seemed to have nothing to say, his followers could not stop
talking. Everyone had something to say, a verse to read or advice to give. .
. . The advice was glib, dismissive and shaming. . . . I put these people on
a list of people not to be trusted again with my spiritual struggles. . . .
I was still pretty sure I knew what God would say to me, if anything. God
would surely browbeat me by saying something like, 'Think of everything we
could have gotten done while you wasted all this time! I've been here all
along. Where have you been?' These were the messages I expected to receive.
But if God had spoken too soon, too glibly or in such a shaming manner, I
know what I would have done. I would have added God's name to the list of
people who could not be trusted with my spiritual brokenness" (pp. 114-115).
For many of us, God has at times seemed silent, distant, and uncaring, leaving us
feeling alone, confused, and perhaps angry or fearful. The authors have
experienced these feelings at times in their own spiritual journeys, but
they do not give us quick fixes or tell us what to do more of. They know
from experience that increasing the amount or the intensity of our spiritual
practices--praying more, reading the scriptures more, going to church more,
serving others more--tends to do nothing but leave us exhausted. Instead,
they help us rest--by learning how to recognize and say no to the false gods
that we may be unknowingly serving, and how to say yes each day to the God
who daily offers us love and grace.
As a spiritual director, I've found SOUL REPAIR to be a rare treasure. Free
of religious jargon, it provides wisdom and practical tools for me as I help
others to draw closer to God and as I seek to be honest in my own
relationship with God. But I have at least one other reason for loving the
book: I sometimes pick it up and open it at random just to enjoy the waves
of grace that flow from every page of text. SOUL REPAIR is a must-read for those who
want to follow Jesus more closely and are willing to do some honest
self-probing. It is also for ministers, spiritual directors, therapists,
leaders of spiritual formation groups, leaders of support groups, and anyone
else who provides spiritual support to others.
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This book is simple, clear and insightfully written for spiritual understanding. Our souls are complex but "Soul Repair" uses simple concepts as it guides us toward spiritual health. It is especially for anyone who has ever been on an honest journey of discovery toward knowing God and encountered damaging religious teaching and practices dispensed in the name of God. If your soul is hungry for a healthy relationship with God but all the "normal" Christian stuff hasn't worked or have left you cold this is a must read.
The book is solidly Christian but it provides life giving guidance without all of the meaningless code words and trite solutions which typically discourage genuine God seekers.
Incisively describing concepts like spiritual abuse, spiritual addiction and spiritual anorexia the authors present cogent insight into how our souls were damaged. Then with the skill of gentle spiritual surgeons they help us move into a rebuilding process of our internal lives with God.
As a pastor who has been trying to help pastors for more than a decade, I find this book is the one book every pastor and his/her spouse should read. I wish I had experienced "Soul Repair" early in my ministry instead of later.
The book is solidly Christian but it provides life giving guidance without all of the meaningless code words and trite solutions which typically discourage genuine God seekers.
Incisively describing concepts like spiritual abuse, spiritual addiction and spiritual anorexia the authors present cogent insight into how our souls were damaged. Then with the skill of gentle spiritual surgeons they help us move into a rebuilding process of our internal lives with God.
As a pastor who has been trying to help pastors for more than a decade, I find this book is the one book every pastor and his/her spouse should read. I wish I had experienced "Soul Repair" early in my ministry instead of later.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
By Joyful Heart
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Companion
Written by 3 people who have experience in counseling and psychology as well as having taken the journey themselves in the church and on to healing - this book offers their experience, strength, and hope in a very accessible style.
The book provides the means of indentifying where one is at on the journey, what one is probably feeling, afraid of, etc. and suggestions of how to move forward and what that might look like - with all of the understanding and gentleness one would expect from someone who has been through it all and come out clean. Because they have been there, the authors are able to correctly identify the pitfalls and sore spots with the courage to face what's ugly and at the same time affirming the presence of grace that is 'tailor made' for each journey. They remember well what it is like to be faith-blind. These are most welcome companions on a most difficult journey.
Toolbox
The book is well organized and the chapters are broken down into digestible bites with questions for reflection at the end of each section. This makes it an easy volume to work with - and the progression of the chapters are well-paced and thorough, following a pattern without tangents. The tools offered in this book are identifying abuse, identifying the fallout, finding compassion for self, what is involved in overcoming obstacles to trust, letting go of what doesn't work, finding what does work, taking responsibility, and finding community. There is nothing I wish were different about this book. It's not too long, not too short, makes nothing too heavy and takes nothing too lightly.
It is very well-balanced in its delivery and approach to the realities of the healing process, offering hope and a way through the impossible paradoxes of spiritual woundedness.
Background
I have been reading books on understanding and recovering from spiritual abuse for 15 years. I have also been following the work of Dale and Juanita Ryan HOPING for a book of this kind from them. They are the only Christian authors I know of who have addressed the journey of finding God all over again. I consider them faithful and true doctors of the church.
Of all the books I've read over the years, this is the best and most concise - the ONLY one I would recommend. I have been very encouraged!
Written by 3 people who have experience in counseling and psychology as well as having taken the journey themselves in the church and on to healing - this book offers their experience, strength, and hope in a very accessible style.
The book provides the means of indentifying where one is at on the journey, what one is probably feeling, afraid of, etc. and suggestions of how to move forward and what that might look like - with all of the understanding and gentleness one would expect from someone who has been through it all and come out clean. Because they have been there, the authors are able to correctly identify the pitfalls and sore spots with the courage to face what's ugly and at the same time affirming the presence of grace that is 'tailor made' for each journey. They remember well what it is like to be faith-blind. These are most welcome companions on a most difficult journey.
Toolbox
The book is well organized and the chapters are broken down into digestible bites with questions for reflection at the end of each section. This makes it an easy volume to work with - and the progression of the chapters are well-paced and thorough, following a pattern without tangents. The tools offered in this book are identifying abuse, identifying the fallout, finding compassion for self, what is involved in overcoming obstacles to trust, letting go of what doesn't work, finding what does work, taking responsibility, and finding community. There is nothing I wish were different about this book. It's not too long, not too short, makes nothing too heavy and takes nothing too lightly.
It is very well-balanced in its delivery and approach to the realities of the healing process, offering hope and a way through the impossible paradoxes of spiritual woundedness.
Background
I have been reading books on understanding and recovering from spiritual abuse for 15 years. I have also been following the work of Dale and Juanita Ryan HOPING for a book of this kind from them. They are the only Christian authors I know of who have addressed the journey of finding God all over again. I consider them faithful and true doctors of the church.
Of all the books I've read over the years, this is the best and most concise - the ONLY one I would recommend. I have been very encouraged!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great Resouse for Hurting Believers!
A must read for any pastor and specifically pastors seeking to understand what hurting believers are experiencing and how to help the work out their hurts to a point of healing. Read more
Published 24 days ago by Tomcat
5.0 out of 5 stars
Beyond the class
I purchased this for my addictive behavior and recovery class but i am amazed at how dynamic and impactful this content is. It goes far beyond the class material.
Published 3 months ago by Trina
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very Helpful in Recovery
It's hard to explain what your mind is like when you've been taught all sorts of untruths and then to have a book like this come out and help you sort out the truth and half truths... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Dana R. Widmark
5.0 out of 5 stars
Spiritual Healing
I come from a place were I experienced much subtle spiritual abuse both directed toward me and surrounding my childhood development. This book was liberating. Read more
Published 16 months ago by G. K. Youngblood
5.0 out of 5 stars
healing for the hurting church folks
It seems that a lot of churches in this world are doing more harm than good so read this book and start to get the healing you ned from God and find another place that helps and... Read more
Published on May 14, 2011 by David M. Self
5.0 out of 5 stars
Wonderful book that explores difficult topics with intelligence
I can hardly say enough good things about this book. It was of immense help to me as I emerged from a 6-year long "dark night" of spiritual dryness. Read more
Published on May 2, 2010 by Joseph M Galloy
5.0 out of 5 stars
I Need Help to Recover from Spiritual Abuse
Soul Repair is an excellent companion book to The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. Where this book let off, Soul Repair picks up. Read more
Published on September 3, 2009 by Jean Whiting
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hope for the Spiritually Hurt
The authors of Soul Repair have provided insightful examples from their own lives as well as the lives of others to explain how spirituality can become distorted and destructive... Read more
Published on March 20, 2009 by Patricia T. Lundeen
