45 of 49 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A man's point of view, June 18, 2004
By A Customer
Okay now, don't get all uppity. I know, I'm not supposed to be reading this, but heck, my wife had a copy and there was nothing on the TV, it not being Monday night and all, and so I picked this little book up and started in, thinking to myself, "Okayyyy, let's just see what the ladies are up to." Two hours later I had finished it (yes, contrary to popular belief, ladies, we CAN read--just don't tell our golfing buddies we do this). Anyhoooo, I now find myself skimming Cosmo, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya thing, and a host of others, trying to figure out exactly how y'all think. To be honest, I find it fascinating and a great education. So I'm giving this one five stars. Two other great books the little woman, uh, I mean WIFE brought home were also great. One was something called The Heart is a Lonely Hunter and the other was The Bark of the Dogwood--A Tour of Southern Homes and Gardens. She does have good taste--what can I say?
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42 of 46 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Embrace femininity without being judgmental., November 14, 1999
I can certainly see why so many have appreciated Ms. Rich'stales of southern charm. The book was cleverly written, with niceanecdotes, a little too many "sweet as vinegar pie" analogies, but, overall, an interesting read.
Where it fails, on the other hand, is in its generalities. Not all southern women would look down their noses at another woman for neglecting to keep up her appearance - as on page 16, where it says, "We ignore them, scorn them, mock them, and hope, in general, that they will just go away and stop embarrassing us."
Personally, I love the idea of a woman embracing her femininity, celebrating her womanhood. However, my southern mother and grandmother would no doubt scorn ME if I were to be so bold as to shun another being based on such a superficial concept, as the one above.
Another philosophy that has my southern hackles rising is the book's fixation on "me, me, me" and what "I" can get. I don't disagree that a person, male or female, should not be afraid to chase a few dreams, or to go after what they want in life, but, to manipulate a situation to your own liking, such as encouraging one's husband to purchase a sporty car he can't afford (page 34), is going too far.
If the title were "What SPOILED Women Know (That Every Woman Shouldn't)", I would be more lenient. The book would then be as it claimed to be. As it is, it focuses on "charming compensation" - with the author "sweetly suggesting" that a clerk, who had mistakenly left a bag out of her purchase, give her the bag of groceries for free, since she'd had to drive back to the store to retrieve it - yet it, casually, overlooks the kind and giving nature found in so many genuine Southern women.
If you'd honestly like to learn a few "southern" moves, wave at your neighbors, say hi to strangers, and greet everyone with a smile. Don't, as Ms. Rich suggests, snub anyone, simply because they don't live up to your own standards. We, as a society, have come too far to be so callus in our judgments of one another.
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31 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
And God created a woman, November 29, 2004
The main theme of the book runs along the lines of "seduce and enjoy, and if you can't - seduce and destroy" - in other words it's charm all the way with great zest; fighting spirit, honoring first and foremost family and tradition and wholehearted love and respect for others, as long as they treat you well, but if they step on your toes, watch out.
Other than portraying the stereotype of a Southern woman, the author offers suggestions and advice some of which is sound and some of which may be understandable from a woman's perspective, but not necessarily healthy. Just as women in general are known to be full of contraditions, so is the advice that runs through this book - some examples of using charm in many different situations are brilliant. On the other hand, you'll encounter a struggle to be proper and ethical, advice to think positively, believe in the good, and to look at situations in optimistic light mixed with hold on patiently to your grievances (2 - 5 years or more if need be) until the timing is perfect to dish out your revenge. (That's definitely not good for one's health.) Then in the next section, you'll find "let bygones be bygones".
And yes, there is an advice in the book to be used in negotiations. Since most of the books on negotiation out there are written by guys, here is how it works from Southern woman's perspective - together with the negotiation skills available through other books and sources, wear a short skirt [the shorter the skirt you wear, the better deal you can count on getting], use charm all the way, and let your opponent sizzle (for his own good) - very soon he won't know what hit him.
All in all, it is an entertaining book.
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