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Spanking-A Loving Discipline: Helpful and Practical Answers for Today's Parents Paperback – May, 2002

121 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"An excellent treatise arguing that this controversial form of discipline, discredited by our humanistic, permissive society, has Biblical sanction." -- The Alliance Witness

About the Author

Roy Lessin is a co-founder of DaySpring Greeting Cards and has been the senior writer for the past twenty-five years. He is a graduate of Bethany School of Missions, where he received his ordination. Before writing for DaySpring, he was Director of Christian education in Oakland, California, and served as a missionary in Mexico and Puerto Rico. Lessin has written several books for children, two books for Christian parents on child training and four devotional books. Roy and his wife Charlene now have two grown children and are currently sharing the joys of being grandparents.


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 112 pages
  • Publisher: Bethany House Publishers; Updated edition (May 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0764225634
  • ISBN-13: 978-0764225635
  • Product Dimensions: 7 x 5 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 2.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (121 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,355,576 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Roy Lessin came to know Christ at the age of nineteen.

He was led to the Lord by his father, Joseph, who was raised an orthodox Jew in the Bronx, New York. Joseph was forty years of age when he discovered a Gideon Bible in his hotel room in Las Vegas, Nevada. He had never read the Bible in English and started to read in the book of Genesis. When it came time to check out of the hotel, Joseph stole the Bible. He continued reading the Bible whenever he could. As he read the book of Isaiah, God opened his eyes to see that Jesus Christ was his Messiah.

After coming to Christ, Roy attended Bethany College of Missions (Bethany Fellowship) in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It was there that he met his wife, Charlene. They were married in 1964. After graduation, Roy served as a Christian Education Director and Youth Minister in Oakland, California. Roy and Char spent two years on the mission field--one year in Mexico, and one year in Puerto Rico working in a Christian bookstore.

In 1971, Roy, along with three other Christian men (Dean Kerns, Don Leetch, and Russ Flint) started a Christian publishing company in Covina, California, called Outreach Publications. After its first year in business the company created a Christmas card with the message "When you get right down to it, the only thing that really matters is Jesus." That card was the beginning of DaySpring Cards. Since that time Roy spent many years in various creative and editorial roles bringing hope and encouragement to the body of Christ.

Today, Roy is an active Bible teacher and continues to be involved with DaySpring Cards, serving in various pastoral responsibilities, as well as helping to create new products. He has written numerous gift and devotional books. Roy and Char have two children and four grandchildren. You can find Roy at his blog,

Books by or about Roy Lessin:

Sons from Afar:

Fret Busters:


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

337 of 365 people found the following review helpful By Dan on September 23, 2005
Format: Paperback
Beth Fenimore

September 7, 2005Open Letter to Roy Lessin

Author of Spanking: Why, When, How

Dear Roy,

After 19 years I have found the courage to write you this letter declaring how your choice to teach and write about spanking has affected me. My purpose in writing you this open letter is to share with you and others that the spanking approach you recommend is harmful. My parents both know my view on this issue. I have talked to them, as well, about how their decision to implement your spanking recommendations affected me. I have a mission. My mission is to warn new parents who are innocently trying to raise happy, healthy children. Should just one parent spare their child the kind of pain that I endured at the hands of my parents implementing your spanking recommendations, my pain will have more meaning than it does now.

I want to begin by talking about your spanking approach so that we'll both be using the same language. In your book, you describe a process by which a parent performs a spanking on their child.

The first step is to use the right instrument; if a parent uses their hand, the child might become fearful of the parent's hand.

The second step is to spank promptly.

The third step is to find a private place in which the parent can conduct the spanking.

The fourth step is for the parent to explain to the child why they are going to be spanked.

The fifth step is to get the child into a good spanking position (when my parents and other adults-such as your wife, Char-spanked me, the ritual involved removing the child's clothing); you recommend bending the child over a bed, or bending a smaller child over the parent's lap.
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95 of 108 people found the following review helpful By Seabusicut on November 8, 2005
Format: Paperback
Yes, the truth is hard sometimes. I was the child who was raised by Roy Lessin's method. Not only did my parents follow Roy's book, Roy and his family were a part of our lives--Roy was a leader in our church. In fact, I was spanked by Char, Roy's wife.

My life has been full of pain and anguish due to Roy's methods. Your daughter is happy because children will be whatever you ask them to be after hitting them. I would have thought someone strange for telling me my parents were cruel too when I was six, twelve, or even 15 years of age. My parents were my world when I was a kid. The horrible affects of Roy's spankings will probably not show up until it is too late. You will have already made your parental choice and the damage will be done. I was a happy child or so everyone thought. Inside I was torn up and didn't really understand why until years later. I was the kid that everyone pointed to as proof that Roy's methods worked. As a child I did what I was told with a smile on my face. No one says that I'm proof now.

Your daughter will be grown and will have endured your Roy Lessin spankings. She may, as others have, marry someone who at best will dominate her at worst hit her to keep her under control. She may choose to stay because she has become use to violence. After all being hit won't be new to her.

From my own personal experience both with Roy's book and Roy himself, you are following a method that has hurt not only me but a handful of other children who grew up with me. The children at Outreach back in the day when Roy and his teachings were in full swing. If you don't believe me, ask Roy what happened to all those Outreach children 18-20 years ago. The ones whose parents hit them using Roy's specific method that they called spanking.
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78 of 90 people found the following review helpful By A Catholic mom on October 21, 2005
Format: Paperback
I am a very conservative Christian- we homeschool, don't have rock music in our home, limit TV use, about as conservative as you can get- and we don't spank.

The simple reason: Do I hit my children, or do I teach my children? Hitting is not teaching. And there is nothing to distinguish spanking from hitting but the name (and in England, they're more honest and call it 'smacking') The Scriptures command us to discipline, not to spank. The "rod" is a symbol for authority.

And to Beth, since I can't PM her- if she looks here again- thank you SO much for writing that review. God bless you!

I would recommend "Biblical Parenting" by Crystal Lutton, "The Discipline Book" by Dr. Sears, or "Parenting with Grace" by Gregory Popack for parents looking for discipline ideas based on faith and scientific evidence as to what is best for our children.
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81 of 94 people found the following review helpful By Cookie on October 31, 2005
Format: Paperback
Wow, and if the first one wasn't bad enough! My IQ hurts just looking at the cover...

Well, I said on this yahoo's other book; Spanking: Why, When, How, despite the fact that I am a christian, I never understood or agreed with the book burning mindset- untill I discovered there were writers like Roy Lessin. This is the other Mein Kampf of the parenting section in any library. Reading that excerpt from Spanking: Why, When, How was enough to make me want to scrape my eyes out with a fork. Maybe I'm young and naieve, but can someone explain to me why you get in trouble if you batter a 20 year old, yet it's OK to brutally hit a 2 year old repeatedly, despite the fact that a 2 year old can't defend themself against an adult? Hmm. Thing to ponder about, this is.

To anyone out there who agrees with these books, or let alone, purchases these waste of trees, this one star is for you.

As for Beth, for her absolute courage to share her letter and let it be known to the world that this form of "discipline" is cruelty, to her I give 5 stars, a life-supply of cookies and many shiney objects :D It's time someone stood up for those who's cries go unheard!
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