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The Spanking Room: A Child's Eye View of the Jehovah's Witnesses

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"Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world..."
(from The End of the World - Dee/Kent)

In this heart-rending memoir, the author shares with us his experiences as a young boy growing up under the influence of the religious group known as the Jehovah's Witnesses.

His mother converted to the religion while he was a toddler, having found something in the teachings that she could identify with, and soon became totally consumed by the doctrine that Armageddon was nigh, and that only the Jehovah's Witnesses would move on to greener pastures. Although she raised her two children with uncompromising fervor that could only be classified as abuse, it can be seen that she truly believed that without her intervention, her family was marked for certain death when the time finally came.

His father resisted conversion, and tried to save the marriage, but in my understanding of the book, he did not seem to try hard enough to protect his sons from abuse, simply by not being there when they needed him.

Conflicted, confused, shunned and shamed, the author grew up in the faith hoping to earn love and compassion from his mother, but at the same time, common sense was telling him that there was something wrong with the philosophy that man's interpretation of the Holy Bible should take precedence over the actual word of the Almighty. Indeed, the concept that a religious body would condone the physical punishment of young children by actually constructing a special room for that purpose seems to indicate that they stopped reading the well known verse after the words "Suffer the little children to come unto me" (Mark 10:14)

This revealing memoir does not go into great detail about the hierarchy of the religion, and only briefly touches on "The Great Disappointment" and the various reinterpretations of the actual date for the end of the world, but instead speaks volumes on how this belief affects the lives of the faithful followers who know in their hearts that it's only a matter of time.



Amanda Richards, September 18, 2008

William Coburn has written a brave memoir of his grotesque childhood at the hands of a newly converted Jehovah's Witness - his mother - whose conversion when Coburn was 4 years old not only destroyed his family, but began a fourteen year history of physical and emotional abuse all in the name of religion. His candor in writing style and his excellent judgment in not sensationalizing his story makes for not only entertaining reading, but informative investigation into a religious group known to most of us as those annoying folks who knock on our doors on weekends with their 'Awake' and 'Watchtower' pamphlets ready to intrude into our lives. This is a fascinating read, one easily digested in an evening, and one that supplies information not readily found elsewhere.

Billy Coburn lived with his father, his older brother Joe, and his mother in Redding, Connecticut, a happy and normal family until at age four Billy's mother announced 'We're never going to die!' - the indicator that she had just converted to the Watchtower Society or Jehovah's Witnesses. From that point on his life became a series of confusing beatings, restricted activity, enforced attendance at meetings in the local Kingdom Hall where mothers were encouraged to drag their children out by the hair to go to the spanking room for a beating if they so much as daydreamed or did not show complete involvement in the interminable Elders interpreting the Bible according to the Watchtower version. The doctrine that the end of the world (Armageddon) was coming any day and that ONLY members of Jehovah's Witnesses would survive Jehovah's killing of all 'worldly non-members' terrified the followers into submission and encouraged the Witnesses to spend their time trying to convert the world to their strange brand of belief in order to gain points with the Kingdom Hall. Billy's home life became a constant series of beatings from his radical mother while his non-Jehovah's Witness father tried to maintain some semblance of normalcy with his children. Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to celebrate holidays of any sort except the Memorial (the Last Supper) because Easter, Christmas, birthdays etc are the work of the devil and encourage demons to enter homes, trying to discourage believers in the Watchtower Society to defect. Billy suffers humiliation at school, has few friends, and finally confronts his mother, after his father has divorced her, that he refuses to buy into the religion force fed him throughout his growing years. Billy finally separates from his mother's madness and finds a wife and creates a family and it is from this safe haven that he is able to write this exposé of his direct exposure to Jehovah's Witnesses.

William Coburn writes well, using a style of friendly sharing, mixing personal vernacular with pure narrative in a manner that enhances his revelations about this sect of people and their beliefs. His ability to draw his own family's images so carefully that we feel we know them is a gift for a writer so close to the subject matter of his story. THE SPANKING ROOM (subtitled 'A Child's Eye View of the Jehovah's Witnesses') is an excellent book, especially for those many of us who know so little about this group. Recommended reading. Grady Harp, September 08

Here's a memoir about a boy raised by a definitely psychotic or at least deeply neurotic woman who used her religion as a cudgel to treat her son with unspeakable mental and physical cruelty. She was extremely devious in the ways she abused her son (lying to the father, who was all to glad to be hands-off in his raising of his son.)

The sad thing is how the son keeps waiting for his "fairy real-mother" to show up, you know, the nice one, the reasonable one, and for his "real" father to show up and rescue him. But the predictable happens instead (father absents himself further and Mom is still the everyday evil one.)

The book is not primarily a diatribe against Jehovah's Witnesses. The author does discuss briefly the principles as he was taught, about the 144,000 chosen ones and "the great crowd", and "The Great Disappointment." This is more a memoir about child abuse and how one boy managed to find his own way out of it and into his own family and learned how to love his own children in a way he never was able to be loved. So it's about salvation in a way, the salvation of finding what you need in giving it to others.

I'm recommending the book not only for a memoir about child abuse (which could help some survivors) but also for the last chapter, the epilogue, which describes how Coburn found his way out of his nightmare early years. I think this could be very helpful to a number of people as well as merely an interesting, if horrific memoir.

Radical religions are all around and one organization that many are familiar with is the Jehovah's Witnesses. Known for their persistent, door to door proselytizing, the Jehovah's Witnesses are completely convinced that their religion is the only one that is valid and that the members of all other religious organization have no chance to enjoy the fruits of the next world.

Author William Coburn is one man who is fully aware of the tactics of the Jehovah's Witnesses and he is all-too-familiar with their extremist beliefs on everything from celebrations to punishment. He grew up the son of a radical Jehovah's Witness mother and he endured years and years of indoctrination and physical punishment at the hands of a woman who claimed she was only trying to show her son and his brother how much she cared about them by literally beating out the demons. The physical punishment was terrible, but what was even worse was living a life of fear. The author never knew when his mother might fly off the handle and bash him across the face for no reason at all. It could be an innocent mistake, like the mispronunciation of a word. It could be an off-the-cuff remark about another Witness. It could even be a drawing of a Christmas tree. Whatever it was, it was irrelevant. His mother would beat the living crap out of him for even the slightest offense.

The Spanking room is part memoir and part educational lesson about the Jehovah's Witnesses and their practices and it includes many insights into the Jehovah's Witnesses and the impact that their beliefs has on families. This book brought back memories for me because I had a friend in the second grade who was a Jehovah's Witness member. Oddly enough, my friend's mother didn't mind his hanging out with me even though I was not a member of his church, was very worldly for my age (one of the things Jehovah's Witnesses are extremely against), and had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Like the author's family, my friend's father was not a Witness, but I didn't see any type of resistance on the part of his father to referee or stop the religious influence. He seemed to go along with it, in contrast to Coburn's father who did put up a fight and, at the same time, tried to make his marriage last.

The actions of Coburn's father are one part of this book that bothered me a little. Like the author indicates throughout the book, his father did try to intervene whenever he could to stop the indoctrination. But I couldn't understand why he didn't try harder and I felt he should have done more. From what I can tell, I think his father held onto that small glimmer of hope that his wife would eventually come to her senses, denounce her new faith, and life would return to normal. This didn't happen, and he finally did get a divorce.

Coburn writes this book in an interesting way. Not only does he express his fears and disliking of the Jehovah's Witness faith, he also tries to educate the reader about the Jehovah's Witnesses. He obviously didn't want this book to be nothing but a personal rant against the Witnesses and his personal traumas. He also wants the reader to understand more about this unusual sect and its often bizarre, irrational beliefs. So, he includes educational material throughout the book, explaining the Witnesses beliefs on different human practices, their feelings about other religions, the church hierarchy and who makes the rules, etc. Coburn also includes a touch of sarcasm in his writing, but it is a very mild form of sarcasm and usually consists of only a few words at the end of certain passages.

One thing that might surprise and even bother some readers is that the author, while certainly disgusted with the religion of his youth and condemning of its practices, is generally respectful as he writes. He presents the material in basically a nice way and he refrains from making insults or saying anything demeaning, even when certain people deserve it. I suppose he did this to keep the attention of the book focused the educational aspects and his own personal struggles to find out the truth and eventually break free. Also, it could be that the author simply decided to present the facts and his own experience and let them speak for themselves. After all, based on this book, the unusual beliefs and practices of the Jehovah's Witnesses really do not need to be insulted directly. Their insidiousness speaks for itself.

The Spanking Room is, overall, a very good book about growing up as a Jehovah's Witness presented from the view of a young boy who endured the physical beatings, the endless studies, and the weekly indoctrination sessions at the Kingdom Hall. The book is poignant, but with an ultimate message of hope. Many children grow up in households like his and whether it's a Jehovah's Witness household or some other extreme religion, there is always a way out. It takes courage and strength but it can be done and in the case of young Billy Coburn, it was an experience that taught him many important life lessons and he should be congratulated for his efforts to free himself from this mental prison.

William Coburn tells it like he remembers his early days in the Jehovah's Witness cult. Showing how brainwashed the followers of this religion can be, Coburn tells the story that could probably be repeated by thousands of other children who had to grow up in shame, slinking off to the library or hallways in school while other kids experienced parties, celebrations, holidays, and the like. The torture of physical and emotional abuse that he describes was just incredible. I can't imagine the humiliation of having to grow up in such conditions. Coburn's mother was very much affected by her conversion to this religion as she became practically fanatical, which ended up costing her two marriages and scarring her two young boys for life. It's not the way the Bible ever intended a family to be raised.

I appreciated the frankness of it all, though it certainly wasn't easy to read because the abuse just never stopped. If you want to better understand JW doctrine, this probably isn't the book. I wish he would have given more details about the 1975 debacle and the aftermath when the apocalypse did not take place. In addition, the writing was a little choppy in some places, and there were some typos and grammatical mistakes throughout. But, overall, I'd recommend the book for anyone interested in those sincere people who knock on our doors claiming to have a message from Jehovah and the Watchtower. And I will never look at those children at the door the same way again. I only hope Coburn doesn't give this to his Mom; if I were her, I'd want to die after seeing such a story in print.

When I received an inquiry about reviewing this book I have to admit that I hesitated. I explained that given my own experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses I didn't feel that I would be an objective reviewer. Then after the book arrived I once again held off starting it because I wasn't really in the mood for a shrill diatribe and tell-all by a former victim. Then I started actually reading it- and couldn't put it down. Sure, some of it was because it was like witnessing a prolonged train wreck, but it was the humor and high quality of the writing that held my interest.

It is amazing that the author survived such toxic, dysfunctional religion and family life. I knew that the Witnesses were messed up, but I never suspected the degree to which they had institutionalized child abuse. I couldn't identify with such horrific physical and emotional abuse, but what I could identify with was the fundamentalist abuse and distortion of religion by a parent with mental health issues. That spoke to me. Not to this extreme, but it spoke to me. What really stayed with me was how the Witnesses could quote a spiritual principle that I adhere to- and then manage to totally pervert and distort it to the point that it was the complete opposite of what it should represent. Nor could such distortions be questioned. WHY is not in the vocabulary of this organization. If it is handed down from Brooklyn by shadowy anonymous elders (who make the Mormon elders look like paragons of transparency) then it is unquestionable truth. Unless of course you want to have the demons beat out of you...

It is amazing that the author turned out as well as he did. He did so in spite of his upbringing and definitely not because of it. He even managed to achieve a healthy religious life and unquestionably sincere relationship with God (though definitely not "Jehovah God.") This book is far from shrill or depressing, it is inspirational. I also know that it will make me think twice about inappropriately forcing my own spiritual views on others (besides, the author's mother never had a single convert from decades of going door-to-door...)

The unwelcome arrival of Jehovah's Witnesses at the door is both a staple of American experience and a puzzle. Just who are these well-dressed, seemingly happy people we love to hate -- and what do they believe? Are we justified in shunning them and dreading their footfalls on our doorsteps?

William Coburn's book sheds some light on the inner life of one JW family and one congregation. Coburn grew up in what he describes as a normal family until his mother converted to the Jehovah's Witnesses when he was four. For the next decade and more, his mother ran hours-long study sessions, scoured the neighborhood for converts, and brutalized Coburn and his brother for the smallest infractions, hoping to beat the devil out of him. Coburn implies that these beatings, spankings, punchings and full face slaps were "de rigueur" for Witness families. Certainly, they were a staple of his. And at the very least, more than a few children were dragged, sometimes by their hair, to a special room in the Kingdom Hall reserved for corporal punishment.

All in all, a miserable way to grow up.

The book falls a little flat, though, in discussing Coburn's experience within the wider context of the Jehovah's Witnesses in America. The Witnesses that Coburn describes are certainly patriarchal, controlling, rigid and more than a little strange. Some JW beliefs are fairly odd as well, including a literal belief in the book of Revelation's statement that only 144,000 souls attain Heaven (sorry, all slots were filled by 1935) and that the imminent end of the age will allow only JWs to live forever on in a "New System" on "paradise earth," Jehovah-God having killed all non-believers. But I questioned how typical was Coburn's experience. Guilt-crazed, fanatical parents are found in every religion.

"The Spanking Room" is Coburn's attempt to deal with the shame, guilt and weirdness placed on him by a mother who dealt with her own demons by clinging a rigid and unforgiving doctrine. It's an interesting read as a testament of how one life can be drastically affected by religious extremism. JW's impact on families (especially those like Coburn's where one parent is a non-believer) can hardly be squared with the Christian tradition of life-long fidelity, peacefulness and forgiveness. If it can't be read as a survey of the entirety of Jehovah's Witnesses beliefs and practice, it does work well as a single instance of how being a JW can warp and shatter a family's peace and a child's sense of safety.

Disclaimer: this reviewer received the book gratis from the author.

This book is both disturbing and uplifting. It is disturbing in the sense that it chronicles years of abuse the author suffered at the hands of his mother and it is uplifting in the sense that he was able to overcome it. The fact that Coburn was able to write this book is an indicator of that. It is also clear that his mother most likely suffered from a form of mental illness and even more unfortunate that she was able to find a socially acceptable way to express it.
While you read this book, only the most hard-hearted, unfeeling of personalities can avoid feeling the greatest sympathy for the boy Coburn. It tears at your heart to know what he went through, not understanding what was happening. He is fortunate that his father fought the abuse the best way he could until finally giving up and leaving when Coburn was in his early teens. By then, he was old enough to make up his own mind and that was what no doubt saved him.
It is sad to understand that for every person such as Coburn who makes it out of such situations and lives a normal life there are others who do not. One can only hope that this tale of triumph will make it easier for the others to do so.

If you've ever wondered what motivates that regiment of ardent bell ringing, pamphlet pushing Jehovah's Witness that appear on a regular basis at your front door you definitely need to read William Coburn's new book `The Spanking Room', an unexpectedly shocking 208 page paperback gifting the reader with an intimate autobiographical account and expose revealing to the uninitiated some of the irrational teachings and apprehensible practices being carried out within the confines of those unassuming worship centers known as the Kingdom Hall and the homes of its membership.

While the majority of the "worldly" masses are left to wonder about the unorthodox activities of this mysteries group, the apocalyptic mindset and end-times mentality of this self-alienating religious flock is laid bare by the author in a disturbing and enlightening manner that will grasp a firm hold on the reader from the first page and carry you along on Coburn's torturous childhood journey to the very end.

This is not a tale for the faint of heart or for someone who wants to curl up on the bed for a light-hearted read before drifting off to dreamland. `The Spanking Room' is a story of physical and emotional abuse brought about by a fanatical, unbridled religious zealot enslaved to the teachings of the Watchtower Society. You'll witness the slow and methodical destruction of an average American family wrought by a woman, wife and mother who forsakes the love of her husband and two sons when she decides to give herself heart and soul to an organization demanding complete control of its membership.

The first aspect of Mr. Coburn's story that struck me was the realization that such pain and suffering could be perpetuated on a child here in the USA. What makes the situation even more monsterous is the fact that this aberrant physical and emotional torment dealt out by William's Mother was not only condoned but expected by this religious institution. This is Godly behavior?

`The Spanking Room' is a real page turner and definitely an eye opener for the non-Jehovah's Wintness. The author's wonderfully open hearted writing style and "gallows humor" provides a disarming counter balance to the horrible events that unfold before the reader. His account is thoroughly engaging, shockingly revealing, incredibly insightful and intensely personal. If you've ever wondered about those nicely dressed, smiling faces at your front door think again before inviting them in. Or at least read this book first.

This is an outstanding book and very well written. I highly recommend it to anyone with the slightest association with Jehovah's Witnesses or anyone who is contemplating having a bible study with them. I was a JW for nearly 20 years and met many women who loved the Watchtower religion more than they loved their children. In fact, it was because of the mental and physical abuse of children that I began to question the Watchtower doctrines and was finally able to break the chains of mind control and escape from the Watchtower. Read this book!!!