Spanking Watson: A Novel (Kinky Friedman Novels) [Hardcover]

Kinky Friedman (Author)

Book Description

Series: Kinky Friedman Novels | Publication Date: September 15, 1999

Just as every dog must have its day, so must every Sherlock have his Watson -- even if the Sherlock in question resides in a downtown loft with an ill tempered cat, a perpetually smiling puppet head, and ceiling badly in need of repair, all thanks in no small part to the often-less-than-light-on-its-feet lesbian dance class held daily in the loft above.

And just as misery loves company, so does Kinky Friedman, the erstwhile Sherlock in question, love his tormentors from above -- enough so that when someone sends a threatening missive to the head lesbian dance-person, Winnie Katz, Kinky, in a mood of forgive-and-forget, sets out to find the perpetrator and to save the day.

Of course, just as nothing is ever as it seems, so is Kinky "Ace Private Big Dick" Friedman, not quite so altruistic as he may appear -- for, in fact, it was the Kinkster himself who wrote the threatening note to Ms. Katz, and then called upon each of his ubiquitous Village Irregulars (the mighty Mike McGovern, the mercurial Ratso Sloman, the marvelous Stephanie Dupont, and the masterful Steve Rambam) to solve the mystery, and in the process give Kinky a first-rate opportunity to evaluate the effectiveness of each of his would-be Watsons.

But just as it's not where you start but where you finish, so does Kinky soon find himself caught up in a conundrum of Sherlockian proportions when the bogus death threat turns suddenly, chillingly real -- and an actual killer steps forward to carry out Kinky's impotent threat.

And just as all things must end, so must this flap copy.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The same bizarre mixture of ingredients that has turned Kinky Friedman from a country musician into a popular mystery writer and hero of his own series continues in this exercise oddity, which, true to form, seems to contain something to offend virtually everyone. "If you spend a little time with lesbians and nuns, you begin to see the effect love or the absence of it can have on a human life," muses the Kinkster at one point. This comes after a campaign by Friedman to terrorize his upstairs neighbor, Winnie Katz, whose lesbian dance classes have caused the ceiling of his Greenwich Village loft to collapse. But Kinky's amateur terrorism pales by comparison to the mysterious person who wants to do some real damage to Winnie, so Friedman and his Village Irregulars turn from aggressors to protectors. Surrounded by Italian gangsters with names like Linguini and Gepetto, they plan a weird revenge scheme that involves such horrors as chainsaws and Friedman in a red wig.

The title--usually the best thing about a Kinkster book--has to do with which particular member of his motley crew will be officially chosen to play Watson to his Sherlock. But even here there are no clear answers: as Friedman says, "President Clinton is Watson. The Chinese dwarf who paints pastels on Mott Street is Watson. The world is Watson. Only Sherlock Holmes stands achingly alone on the weather-beaten, worm-eaten cross of rational thought. Sherlock Holmes, you see, is the thinking man's Jesus Christ."

--Dick Adler

From Publishers Weekly

Frenetic amateur PI Kinky Friedman is up to his old tricks in this campy mixture of bawdy surrealism and Tom Sawyerish pranks. Kinky's sleuthing duties have taken a decidedly sluggish turn when the roof literally comes crashing in. His upstairs neighbor, Winnie Katz, a lesbian dance instructor, has been stomping through dance routines with her students for weeks on end and all the pounding has taken its toll on Kinky's crumbling ceiling. Kinky calls in an old favor from a mob-connected friend, and suddenly finds two oafish Italian workmen at his door promising to repair the ceiling as a favor to Joey the Hyena. The Hyena is indebted to Kinky for saving his daughter from a mugger, but Kinky learns from the workmen that Joey's daughter died three years before Kinky saved her. Annoyed that his Manhattan loft is virtually under siege and by the twist in the story of the daughter, Kinky decides to divert himself by writing death threats to Winnie. In an impulsive move, Kinky takes the prank one step further by offering Winnie the services of his good friends, aka "The Village Irregulars," to ferret out the source of the threats. The five "Watsons" are no sooner ensnared in Kinky's humorous web of deceit than a real stalker appears on the scene, threatening to kill Winnie for real. All's well that ends well in this slim mystery, but the ultimate moment of truth falls flat. Hardy fans of the indomitable Friedman won't be disappointed, however, with this rollicking followup to Blast from the Past. (Sept.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1ST edition (September 15, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684850613
• ISBN-13: 978-0684850610
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,185,150 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Going Through the Motions, December 14, 2000

By 

J. Mullin (Plantation, FL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Spanking Watson: A Novel (Kinky Friedman Novels) (Hardcover)

I think some of the other reviewers here were right on target when they suggested that Kinky missed a beat here, and that this book was strangely unsatisfying. I know these novels are formulaic and not really plot-driven, but here the plot is virtually non-existent! The action, aside from some trips to eat with the Village Irregulars, takes place almost entirely in Friedman's building on VanDam Street in NYC. There are hardly any outside characters, aside from the espresso-swilling, mob-connected plasterers working on Kinky's ceiling after Winnie's lesbian dance class causes his ceiling to crumble. Even the "mystery" of the plot is a sham, as Kinky invents an imaginary stalker of Winnie to aggravate his neighbor and sets the Irregulars in motion to help solve the identity of the stalker.

I have read a couple of other Friedman books, and maybe the repetition here is just starting to wear on me. How many times do we readers need to be reminded about how the author lights his cigars, "keeping the match just under the tip..." How many times can he make a witty observation to the cat and then claim tongue in cheek : "The cat, of course, said nothing"? That line is present at least 25 times in this book, mostly cause Kinky never leaves the apartment. Also, as a little nugget for his high-brow fans, Friedman throws in references to some of his famous readers, like Don Imus, Bill Clinton and Joseph Heller, in gratitude for their kind words I suppose.

Perhaps the most baffling part of the book, for me, was an incomprehensible aside for about 3 pages where the author describes Jesus as being the original hip Texas Jewboy, and then traces the lineage to modern hip "Jewboys" like Joseph Heller and Abbie Hoffman. I think the author had drank a little too much of his beloved Jameson's when he wrote that chapter, which could have used an editor's red pen. Plus, every Italian character in the novel had ridiculous names like Tortellini, Linguine, etc.

Anyway, for all of you devoted fans of the Kinksta, you will delight in reading about the author constantly puffing cigars, guzzling espresso and tossing down shots of Irish whiskey in his bull's horn to break the monotony. For the rest of us, there is little here to set this novel apart. I wouldn't start with this as an introduction to Friedman, The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover was far superior in this reviewer's humble opinion.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Another great wonder from my pal Kinky, October 28, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Spanking Watson: A Novel (Kinky Friedman Novels) (Hardcover)

Kinky fans will not be disappointed by this latest outbreak. Spanking Watson has more excitement then previous books, and Kinky's colorful and blunt vernacular is a treat to this unique mystery. It is a must read for seasoned fans, who will have no trouble figuring out the mystery, and will draw newcommers in with great enthusiasm. It is a novel to be loved by fans and in turn hated by those idiots who have trouble comprehending the word fun.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You Never Marry the First Person You Watch Casablanca With, August 13, 2004

By 

Craobh Rua "Craobh Rua" (N. Ireland) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Spanking Watson (Kinky Friedman Novels) (Paperback)

"Spanking Watson" is Kinky's eleventh book, and was first published in 1999. As with his other books, Kinky has cast himself as the amateur-PI hero, while some of the other characters have been based on actual friends. As with real-life, the book's Kinky is a cigar-smoking, cat-loving, espresso-guzzling, whiskey-drinking, ex-country and western performer. He shares his loft on Vandam Street with his cat - who he occasionally leaves in charge. Conversations between Kinky and the cat tend to be somewhat one-sided, while the cat consistently refuses to answer the telephone.

Winnie Katz still lives upstairs, and continues to run her lesbian dance classes. While this has never caused Kinky any serious problem before, it's been the cause of a slight inconvenience now : the constant pounding on Winnie's floor has left a rather large hole in the Kinkster's roof. Rambam, a genuine PI and Village Irregular, has arranged for two repairmen to help out - Vinnie and Gepetto, known "associates" of Joe the Hyena. Kinky had received his espresso machine several years earlier from Joe, a token of thanks for rescuing his daughter from a mugger. Vinnie and Gepetto, admiring the machine, tell Kinky there's only one problem : Joe doesn't have a daughter. Obviously, Kinky's curious - but Joe is, of course, the sort of Italian "businessman" you don't get curious about.

On a lonely Friday night, in an anger encouraged by several generous helpings of Jameson's Whiskey, Kinky writes a series of threatening letters to Winnie - never, of course,with any intention of delivering them, never mind acting on them. When Ratso catches sight of them the next day, Kinky decides to put them to good use. He would provide each of the Village Irregulars with a copy of a note, and ask for their help - while asking them to keep their investigations secret from the other members of the gang. The Irregular who successfully solved the "case" would officially become "Watson" to Kinky's "Sherlock". Of course, this plan would have the added bonus of disrupting not only Winnie's life but also her dance classes.

"Spanking Watson" has much in common with the other books by Kinky I've read. Not an entirely serious 'whodunit', it is a fast moving and easily read book. The story, I felt, is much better than his earlier books, and he still delivers his one-liners. While his quips won't be to everyone's tastes, it was a book I thoroughly enjoyed.