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81 of 92 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
I was a child raised by the Lessin method, November 8, 2005
This review is from: Spanking, Why, When, How? (Paperback)
Yes, the truth is hard sometimes. I was the child who was raised by Roy Lessin's method. Not only did my parents follow Roy's book, Roy and his family were a part of our lives--Roy was a leader in our church. In fact, I was spanked by Char, Roy's wife.
My life has been full of pain and anguish due to Roy's methods. Your daughter is happy because children will be whatever you ask them to be after hitting them. I would have thought someone strange for telling me my parents were cruel too when I was six, twelve, or even 15 years of age. My parents were my world when I was a kid. The horrible affects of Roy's spankings will probably not show up until it is too late. You will have already made your parental choice and the damage will be done. I was a happy child or so everyone thought. Inside I was torn up and didn't really understand why until years later. I was the kid that everyone pointed to as proof that Roy's methods worked. As a child I did what I was told with a smile on my face. No one says that I'm proof now.
Your daughter will be grown and will have endured your Roy Lessin spankings. She may, as others have, marry someone who at best will dominate her at worst hit her to keep her under control. She may choose to stay because she has become use to violence. After all being hit won't be new to her.
From my own personal experience both with Roy's book and Roy himself, you are following a method that has hurt not only me but a handful of other children who grew up with me. The children at Outreach back in the day when Roy and his teachings were in full swing. If you don't believe me, ask Roy what happened to all those Outreach children 18-20 years ago. The ones whose parents hit them using Roy's specific method that they called spanking. The same ritual that called for prayer and whose justification came from scripture.
Yes, truth is hard. Please get more information on spanking before you do permanent damage to your children. Google Roy and other websites to get more information. There are individuals out there trying to get the information to people like yourself so that you can make the best decision for your children. Believe me, it's out there. The truth is that even with your loving intentions, you can still do damage to your children by hitting them-even if you include prayer and scriptures.
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35 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Why do you need a manual to hurt your child?, July 30, 2007
This review is from: Spanking, Why, When, How? (Paperback)
How can someone write a book completely devoted to hitting a child's private area?
What kind of book writes things like (p.80) "A spanking must be long enough and hard enough to bring a child to a place of repentance."
Shouldnt it be your words, reasoning and confidence that show children to listen to you , following their conscience? Saying that hitting someone viciously enough so that the hitting itself brings "confessions" is like torturing a prison victim to confession.
Yeah and spanking builds up your self-image? Can you see a little girl saying "Mommy spanks me every day, and I am so I proud of it!" "Nothing gets me down because I submit to vicious hitting of my private areas at home!"
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85 of 102 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
A "Christian" Kiddy-torture Manual, May 30, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Spanking, Why, When, How? (Paperback)
What Lessin refers to as "spanking" throughout this book would more accurately be characterized as "whipping" or "flogging." He advocates a flexible switch and whaling away until the child's "cry of anger" turns into a "cry of repentence." But this "cry of repentence" has nothing to do with actual repentence. It is the cry of anguish of a creature broken by torture. Any child thus treated would emit a "cry of repentence" after enough lashes had fallen, even if the child actually wasn't guilty of anything. This is not about "repentence," it is about torture. One of Lessin's many dubious assertions is that children "spanked" with a flexible rod will not fear their parents, only the rod itself. In short: "parents don't spank children - *rods* spank children!." (Presumably Mr. Lessin is not a member of the NRA). Such brazen denial permeates this book, manifesting also in the cloyingly cute pencil illustrations which clash so markedly with the book's actual content and message. Lessin's book constitutes a how-to manual for those who wish to practice what author Susan Forward calls "Toxic Parenting." Throughout the book, the author urges parents to use "spankings" to force children to exhibit outward emotions pleasing to the parent. On page 51, he recommends spanking a child who goes to bed immediately when told, simply for having a pout on their face. He also recommends that a child who cleans their room when told, but with a "long face" should be "spanked" as well. On page 52, he writes " Even a small child can be told, 'Please change your attitude. Be happy,' and be trained to do so.'" This forcible suppression of the child's real emotions, while training them to exhibit fake emotions more to the parent's liking, is profoundly harmful to the child's emotional development. It is not "for the child's own good." Rather it serves the interests of the parent only. One issue which Lessin never touches on at all is the sexual aspect of spanking. Several of the other reviews of this book by amazon readers are clearly penned by spanking fetishists who see this type of book as pornography catering to their tastes. The fact that so many buyers of this book also purchased "Spanking The Maid" is further evidence that many of Lessin's fans are actually spanking paraphiliacs who view Mr. Lessin as a source of masturbation material. ("Spanking the Maid" is a soft-core S/M novel with artistic pretensions). One way a child may cope with parental cruelty is by eroticizing it. Such children possibly include the author's own son. On p. 76, Lessin relates an anecdote in which his wife had given their son a quick spanking. "When she finished he turned to her and said, 'Mommy, could you spank me again? only this time let me pull down my jeans. It didn't hurt enough.'" Lessin claims this proves merely that "children need effective discipline," but this is not the only possible explanation. Those who are turned on by talk about whipping children on the buttocks with rods will probably enjoy this book. Those who are serious about raising healthy, happy, automonous children would do better to read "Parent Effectiveness Training" by Thomas Gordon and "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. As a parenting manual this book is worse than useless, and belongs in the dustbin.
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