Customer Reviews

Sparks: How Parents Can Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The advice here is accurate, but hardly original in the modern era. Fundamentally, there are two main tracks to the advice and the first can be stated as "To create a solid adult citizen, find something that your teenager is passionate about and do everything you can to encourage it." This is advice that can be found in many places and in many forms in the last two hundred years, For centuries, doing what you wanted to do was restricted to the moneyed and royal classes, it was only after the Industrial Revolution that it could be applied to the masses. In the modern world of immediate action and immediate gratification and with so many options for young people, it is difficult to keep them focused on a track that will lead them to success.
The second track is about adults being involved in the lives of teenagers, even when it may not appear that the teen is paying attention. The adult does not have to be a driving force, at times the best position is to be riding alongside and talking. With so much going on in their lives and so much potential for good or ill, just being there is the key point of value.
Therefore, while the advice in this book is not new, it is still the most valuable advice to receive regarding the parenting of teenagers. Parental interest and engagement and allowing them to become involved in their passions are the two strongest forces that will move teenagers away from the bad and dangerous and into the positive.

Peter L. Benson wrote a well researched, insightful book for parents on how to support their children's personal development. I would recommend it to any parents, grandparents or those working regularily with youth.

The book's biggest fault was mainly several obvious typos.

Overview
It isn't easy being the parent of a teenager in today's society so parents need to use every tool they have to help their teenagers be happy, productive and positive members of their community. The approach described in the book focuses on helping parents to identify, nourish and encourage their teenager's "sparks." According to the author, a spark:

* gives energy and joy
* provides the feeling of being alive, useful and purposeful
* is absorbing to the point that you "lose yourself in the moment
* originates from inside a person
* is a skill, talent, interest or gift
* is a person's prime source of meaning, self-directed action and purpose
* has the potential to make the world a better place for others.

Some specific examples of sparks include: music, art, writing, dance, crafts, building, design, leadership, entrepreneurship, sports, athletics, learning, teaching, relationships, volunteering, nature, animals, computers, comedy, speech, spirituality, drama, photography, film, being committed to living in a specific way, reading, advocacy, family, outdoor life, journalism, engineering, and solving social problems.

The book offers five steps for igniting and encouraging your teen's sparks:

1. Recognize the power of sparks
2. Know your own teenager
3. Help discover and reveal your teen's sparks
4. Be the captain of your teen's spark team
5. Keep your teen's spark lit.

The book is packed with quizzes, lists, tips, interviews, statistics and quotes to illustrate the author's five steps and help parents implement them successfully. The book also includes an extensive list of resources, books, websites, films, videos, organizations and studies to help support parents and their teens in the spark development process.

My Thoughts
The ideas in this book made a lot of sense to me. It seems like a "no brainer" that encouraging your teenager to discover, nourish and fulfill what drives them would result in a more positive and productive person. The approach advocated in the book is non-judgemental, positive and encouraging. It is not about trying to discipline your teen; rather, it is about helping your teen find a way to contribute positively in the world by doing what they LOVE to do. Really, everyone -- regardless of age -- would be better off by identifying, developing and nourishing their own sparks.

The author provides research and statistics to back-up his recommendations, but I didn't really feel this made any real difference to me. What he says just makes sense. I really wish that every parent could get a copy of this book to help them in the difficult teenage years. I can't see why this book wouldn't be helpful to any parent or person working with teenagers.

The other thing I liked was that the author provides lots of quizzes to help parents and teens discover their spark. In addition, there are tons of examples of potential sparks -- surely everyone could find at least ONE spark using the lists in the book. There is also a list of 40 developmental assets that kids need to succeed. Even if parents just read this part of the book, it would help tremendously.

Although the book can seem a bit repetitive at times, it is full of practical and useful information to help parents and teens throughout the five step process. I would recommend the book to anyone who works with, lives with or teaches teenagers -- as well as teenagers themselves. In fact, I would recommend this book to anyone who needs a little help in figuring out their "purpose" in life!

About the Author
Peter L. Benson, president and CEO of Minneapolis-based Search Institute, is one of the world's leading authorities on positive human development. He weaves together rigorous scholarship with a passionate commitment to understanding--and influencing--society to be more attentive to children and adolescents. His insight, vision, and passion have made him a widely sought speaker, writer, and consultant for major national and international events, organizations, and policy initiatives. Dr. Benson is the author or editor of more than a dozen books on child and adolescent development and social change.

The teenage years are when one can get talents that can make them who they are for the rest of their lives. "Sparks: How Parents Can Help Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers" is a guide for parents to finding those hidden talents of their teenagers and encouraging them to feed that gift to prepare their teenager for the future. A good talent, be it artistic, practical, or anything else, can mean a lot in today's world, and feeding that as a teen means it can be enhanced in high school and college. "Sparks" is a must for parents of teenagers who see something in them but don't know how to bring it out.

This book was OK. I had high hopes for it when I ordered it. But when I sat down to give it a read I found myself complaining that the author only provides information that is nothing more than mere common sense. I didn't need to read a book to tell me that kids need nurturing, hand-holding, inspiration, motivation, and to think of themselves good at something that has meaning. Everyone needs all of these things. And I certainly didn't need to be told that it is harder to raise a kid today than it was in the past. That is a bunch of bunk.

The book has a foreward, 8 chapters, and two appendices as follows:

0. Foreward
1. How igniting our teenagers' sparks can support and save out children and their future
2. Recognize the power of sparks
3. Know your own teenager
4. Help discover and reveal your teen's sparks
5. Be the captain of your teen's spark team
6. Keep your teen's spark lit
7. Stories from across America
8. Thriving youth, thriving nation
A. Teenage sparks
B. The 40 developmental assets

According to the author, a "Spark" is a skill, talent, or interest that is a prime source of meaning, self-directed action, or purpose in a child's life. And this book is supposed to be a guide that parents can follow in order to help their teens discover their unique gifts (sparks).

The book was on the right track when it covered the material in Chapter 5 cited herein above. But the book failed miserably in examining and explaining how families with both parents working, single parent families, and families with limited incomes can successfully be the captains of a teen's spark team. A book that would provide this information would provide some real value.

The brutal reality is that many parents have no business having kids in the first place. They lack the time, education, understanding, and resources necessary to raise a child properly. And what the author proposes in this book is the PROPER way to raise a kid. It has not gotten harder to raise good kids, it's just gotten inconvient if parents want to be a typical parent. Unfortunately when parents are normal or typical, then their kids are normal or typical or simply less-than. Mediocre parents produce mediocre kids. It's just that simple.

In my humble opinion this book needed to explain under what circumtances or conditions parents should consider having kids so the parents can raise their kids properly in line with the content in this book. Parents need to focus on their kids instead of focusing on their careers or making a living. And if these parents cannot make a living and raise quality kids at the same time, then this book should have bluntly stated that such parents have no business having kids. It didn't. SPARKS DON'T SAVE OUR TEENS; IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW AND SUPPORT THEIR SPARKS THAT SAVE OUR TEENS.

Dogs are nice. They are fun to own, to pet, and to cuddle with. But they are a lot of work. They need to be walked. They need to be fed. And they need medical care from time to time. As a result, it is hard to take business trips when you own a dog. If your work requires you to take business trips, then you should not have a dog. This theory applies equally to having children. The moral of the story is: if you cannot do it right, then don't do. Don't have a kid if you can't raise it properly. And don't have a dog if you can't take care of it properly. 3 stars!