Customer Reviews

Speaking the Truth in Love: How To Be an Assertive Christian

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Before reading this book, I suffered from a sort of horror of non-fiction. However, Speaking The Truth in Love is non-threatening, practical, and attainable. The principles shared are deep, loving, and in no way narrow. Given a fair chance, they can be life changing. Encouragement to true assertiveness that respects others as well as yourself is gently but firmly emphasized. The Christian community especially would do well to assimilate its principles into classes, small groups, and requested reading for all potential church leaders. This is a powerful book that deserves a much wider audience than it has yet reached. It is worth every penny I spent and more!

I never really knew I could be assertive. Thanks to this book, I am now lovingly assertive. This book focuses on teaching you to be Christ-like in your assertiveness. It's a must read for anyone who wants to be more Christ-like!!

Ruth Koch is a counselor, social worker, and educator; Ken Haugk is a pastor and the founder of Stephen Ministries (an organization that exists to equip church members in basic counseling and listening skills in order to be of service during others' difficult times). "Speaking the Truth in Love" is one book in the training curriculum and focuses on how one can grow to be more assertive.

Assertiveness can be defined as "moving toward one's self as you move toward another person." This is to be contrasted with Passiveness (in which a person decides not to reveal his true feelings and ends up experiencing guilt and frustration...thus working against himself) and Aggressiveness (in which a person attacks and thus works against another person). The authors explain why Assertiveness is the best of these three options, hold up Jesus as the ultimate example of Assertiveness, and give practical advice for becoming more Assertive. The authors liberally use anecdotes and examples to illustrate their points, making this book an easy read. However, although the information is laid out simply, the material itself is certainly not simplistic. Kock and Haugk know their subject matter well, they have a good understanding of Christian theology, and they are prove able to teach the material in an understandable and engaging way.

Although this book is intended for Christians going through Stephen Ministry training, you don't need to be either a Stephen Minister or a Christian to benefit from "Speaking the Truth in Love." I, personally, am not going through the Stephen Ministry program and found the book highly beneficial; Jesus is treated more as a historical figure to emulate rather than True God and True Man. It should also be mentioned that, while other similar books tend to assume the reader is Passive, this book strikes a balance between addressing a Passive reader and an Aggressive reader.

In all, "Speaking the Truth" is highly recommended. It serves as a good introduction to interpersonal communication, conflict resolution, leadership, and self-differentiation.

I'm one of those people who used to find it difficult to say no when asked to do favors for people. I always felt guilty like I was doing something terrible if I said no, but Speaking the Truth in Love helped me to realize that it's not a crime or a sin to say no. Being able to say no is your right as a human being, especially if you know doing something is going to leave us stressed or tired. Not only that, but the book succinctly demonstrates the differences between being assertive, aggressive, and passive agressive. A helpful quiz was included in the back to guage how the quiz taker normally responds which opened my eyes. I like this book so much, I've recommended it to a couple of friends who also have trouble saying no and end up feeling either frazzled or angry because they're being used...like I used to. This is an excellent book!

I have had problems being passive in a couple areas of my life-not confronting when I needed to and not always being honest when I was afraid. This book has been a big help with that. It gives you steps to take to be more confident and assertive, but in a loving, Biblical way. My words, though, don't do this book justice. It is a great book to own and one that I know I will refer to again and again as I work toward my own goals.

It was amazing to see this vintage publication; I have one but it is still packed in moving boxes and i needed this before I could get to the boxes. It was in great shape when it arrived and I appreciated that.

This book was listed like new and it is far from it.

It has writing and underlining throughout as well as a slightly soiled cover.

Gosh I just noticed the book is as low as a penny. What a gift. I totally agree with the other person who gave this book a good review when they said " The Christian community especially would do well to assimilate its principles into classes, small groups, and requested reading for all potential church leaders." Even if you don't struggle with being assertive this book is power packed with tools on how to confront "IN LOVE." That is the key. Some powerful tools in this book for everyone!!Get copies for gifts. Now that's being assertive. (-:

I appreciated the great service and product from you. Keep up the good work.

This is a wonderfully-written book for those of us who find it difficult to express our own needs. Placed in a Christian context, this book removes the guilt from not agreeing with people. Its premise is based on good, sound psychology: we all are valuable individuals, worthy of being treated with respect. Also, it reminds us that the responsibility is our own for helping others to understand what we want/need. Easy reading.