Customer Reviews

A Special Education: One Family's Journey Through the Maze of Learning Disabilities

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I am a special education teacher in New York City and I want to clear a few things up.

1. LD is NOT mild mental retardation, as another reviewer suggested. IQ is unrelated to specific learning issues. I have worked with students who tested in the gifted range, thus making their specific learning issues that much more obvious. Classifying a child as "cognitively impaired" implies that the child is performing up to capacity, and that the child's capacity is significantly reduced. That is not the case with an LD student. The definition of LD is that the child is unable to perform up to his or her capacity in an academic subject or subjects without appropriate remediation and accommodation.

From www.ldonline.com, an excellent resource:
THE IDEA DEFINITION

Since "learning disability" is an umbrella term, it seems most appropriate to use a broad and inclusive definition. The basic definition in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is set forth below:

(A) IN GENERAL- The term "specific learning disability" means a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or using language, spoken or written, which disorder may manifest itself in imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do mathematical calculations.

(B) DISORDERS INCLUDED- Such term includes such conditions as perceptual disabilities, brain injury, minimal brain dysfunction, dyslexia, and developmental aphasia.

(C) DISORDERS NOT INCLUDED- Such term does not include a learning problem that is primarily the result of visual, hearing, or motor disabilities, of mental retardation, of emotional disturbance, or of environmental, cultural, or economic disadvantage.

So for the reviewers who diagnosed Ms. Buchman's daughter as mentally retarded, it would seem that the law is not on your side. Nor is science. I recommend visiting LDonline and educating yourself about learning disabilities.

2. A number of people expressed what sounded quite like resentment that the author was able to get her daughter special appointments, treatments, and schooling, as though she was somehow unusual or special. Why should we accept that children live in situations where help is not available, where you need finanical resources in order to get evaluations and services? Instead of being angry at the author, why not do something about it?

3. Special education schools differ in their method of funding. Most children receive a free education provided by funds from the government, which are given to the school that can educate them most appropriately. While there are parents who choose to go outside of this system and pay privately, the fact is that children do not need to be rich to get into schools. At my first job, it cost $30,000 per child to provide adequate staff and resources, yet we serviced homeless and poor families. And this is as it should be. In the end, it would cost more to put children into institutions and group homes and hospitals and jails than to just do the right thing in the first place. Not to mention the loss of human potential and taxpayer money that would result from denying kids the education they needed.

I too have a child with LD two years younger than Charlotte. I know the heartbreak of LD and I cried because I experienced the same things Ms. Buchman experienced as a mother raising a beloved child with LD. I also, like Ms. Buchman have another child who is gifted and does not have LD. I know that having a child with LD,dyslexia,ADD,etc. changes your life forever. Parents with LD children will want to read this book and then give it to the many teachers that are not trained to understand what LD does to children and their families.Give this to gandparents,neighbors and close friends. People don't understand that LD children may look like everyone else but they have disabilities that are very real and painful to them and to the family as a whole. These disabilities can be in all academic areas as well as speech,sports,and social. Do not let the fact that Ms. Buchman is a designer keep you from reading this book if you have a young child with LD. Her feelings,emotions, marriage, etc. pretty much follows the same path of any parent in this situation. You will find common ground with a parent who is being honest about dealing with LD. I appreciated her honesty. I just wish this book would have been written years ago when my child was diagnoised. I believe she has opened some doors to understanding the LD child and their family and her book will bring the subject out into the light.

As the parent of a child with a disability, I wanted to like this book more than I did. I appreciate Ms. Buchman's candor about all the events in her life and am glad that it has helped some parents. However, I could not relate to most of what she wrote.

Most parents of kids with disabilities don't have the extreme resources that she has, including live in nannies, access to training programs across the country, expensive private schools, whatever specialists, psychologists, etc America can offer and more. Plus if you're more in tune with your kids, more engaged with them and not emotionally closed off, you might find little in common with a lot of her personal struggles with her kids and husband. I was glad to read that she worked on those issues, but again, I could not relate.

Perhaps it has just come easier to me to not bottle in my feelings about my son's disability at least in front of my own family, and I have always felt strongly about being open and honest in a caring way with my other children, not being an emotionally distant family with pink elephants in the room.

I also have always been a type A overachiever, and yes it has been with some pain that I had to shelve the supermom within me to instead slow down and focus on my special needs family, but I just couldn't relate to her behavior. I also think, like another reviewer wrote, that the things she wrote don't make sense - the crazy hours she and her husband both work, plus constant travelling for work, just does not jive with all the "family time" and long weekend mornings and weeknight dinners she claims to have with her kids. The rosy colored glasses I think she's viewing her kids' childhood with may lead some readers to feel guilty unfairly. Some people may like this book, but I am glad I got it from the library instead of buying it.

I have two children who have learning differences. This book (which I breezed through in one sitting of 2-1/2 hours../I couldn't put it down, I felt I was reading my own story) was an excellent description of what it feels like to go through the process of worry, diagnosis, special schools, testing, etc. My sons are young (ages 9 and 5) but I feel as thought I've been through an emotional wringer. Reading Buchman's book helped me feel as though there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that I am not alone, and that we all make mistakes. I especially appreciated her insights that having a child that is less than "perfect" somehow reveals her own insecurities about her vulnerabilities. As a type A mom, I could related to her struggles and appreciated her candor and honesty. This book can be used as a literary "mentor" to those of us further back in the educational pipeline. Thank you, Dana, for letting me take a peek into your life and learn from (and sympathize with) any mistakes you made along the way. I wholeheartedly recommend this book without reservation.

I also have a child with LD and was thrilled when I saw this book. Buying this book, I thought that it would just be an interesting read to help and feel more connected to others in similar situations. As I started to read it, it has become almost addictive reading. The read is so easy and clean that I will just pick it up for 5 to 10 minutes when I have a chance. I also don't want to put it down when I have to do something else. It is definitely a must read for other parents of LD children and a great suggestion for teachers.

Dana Buchman's book "A Special Education" came across to me as so much more than just a discussion about Learning Disabilities. It was a message of hope for anyone with such family challenges. It required considerable fortitude for a person of her standing in the competitive world of fashion design, to publically discuss such an intimate family situation. Some lesser individual might not have written such a book, but would have chosen to hide the whole matter. The book is an rare insight into how a family of four faced the situation, while successfully supporting their daily lives.

The book reveals her personal character, and how she struggled with the demands of family life. She is indeed a "classy lady"to share her story with others who may find themselves in a similiar, and unexpected situation.

Charlotte and her family's story is one I will certainly recommend to my friends and family.

I received the book today and finished it in less than 2 hours. In the last 16 months I've been through testing and diagnosing of my now 7 year old daughter w/LD.

What I loved about this book was the emotion, the truth about fears, guilt, annoyance and the *real* aspect of what, as a mother, you go through. The 2nd thing I loved is that it gives hope. Dana's daughter has many more issues than my daughter and has graduated high school and is in college. I know that when our first issues hit with our daughter, the future and what looms out there is the darkest, most dreary aspect. We are on a good course with our daughter and it is so wonderful to hear of other's success.

This is not intended as a "instructional" book as one other reviewer seemed to think. This is a story, an educational journey, a "make you aware" type book. I am going to share it with friends, our counselor and probably my daughter's teacher.

I turned over many pages to go back and re-read because Dana Buchman writes *exactly* the feelings I've had. It is, at times, such a lonely world out there as a parent and it is wonderful to know you're not alone in this journey.

I did not really enjoy this book. This book was assigned for a graduate class I was taking. The book was about Dana, the mother, for the most part. The daughter, who has learning differences only gave her view in one chapter.

Pretty much, this family is a high-society New York family with many resources available because of their wealth. Most certainly, the average family would not find the resources that they had available for their daughter.

Thank you so much Dana for reminding me that our children are the greatest gifts of all. They are entrusted to us at the right time in our lives though it may not always seem this way at first. They are also presented in different packages aren't they? You very eloquently revealed how necessary it is to accept and focus on the needs of each child. What a beautiful parallel between you and Charlotte as you emerge even more loving, courageous and fulfilled, and very obviously strengthened by each trial and tribulation. I see a mother, wife and friend who deserves the greatest of honor and respect for this work you have shared with us. You really allowed us to step into your life and know your weaknesses and see you from the inside out. Any mom would be encouraged by your example of truth and in the end, selflessness. Thank you also for reminding me that to strive for perfection in ourselves or in our chilren is really missing the mark. In bearing your own troubles you show us how much we can learn from our children. In meeting Charlotte's special needs as difficult and trying as it obviously was at certain times, you were receiving something great also. The parallel that emerges between you both is remarkable. Many thanks for encouraging me as the mom of two precious boys.

I commend Dana Buchman for her forthright account of the struggles of raising a child with learning differences. It takes tremendous courage for such a highly visible professional (especially a 'fix-it' type) to publicize such intimate details. An enlightening story with a triumpant moment for Charlotte and her family as she graduates from highschool and heads off to college. Brought tears to my eyes when the principal of Charlotte's highschool described her as "demonstrating respect, kindness and sensitivity...true citizenship, leadership and courage...." These are attributes every parent wishes their child will attain.