5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Albino killer hunts down cheerleaders, hilarity ensues., December 16, 2008
This review is from: Spiker (DVD)
Going into SPIKER, I wasn't expecting a whole lot but I was actually surprised with the outcome. Don't get me wrong, this movie is awful but it's so dumb that it's actually entertaining. SPIKER is basically about this albino serial killer nicknamed (duh) "Spiker" who escapes from police custody while in the process of being turned over to a doctor. After he escapes he goes back to his old stomping grounds, similar to Michael Myers from HALLOWEEN, and searches for someone from his past. In doing so he crosses paths with Lisa, a high school cheerleader who's dead aunt is linked to Spiker's murderous past. Eventually Lisa and her five friends are on the run from this murderous psychopath. Who will survive and what will be left of them???
So, let me give you a rundown of my experience with watching this movie. On the DVD menu, there is this stupid Ska song playing in the background and since the song is upbeat and poppy and I thought I was about to watch some Van Wilder/American Pie type of movie. Come to find out that the song has absolutely nothing to do with the film other than the fact that it plays in the background in one of the scenes. A big WTF moment right off the bat. Within the first minute of the movie, I knew I was going to be in for a treat. The acting is horrendous. Absolutely EVERYONE in the movie was horrible, which actually made it pretty funny. And the script is just as bad. The characters in the film explain Spiker's back story by using dialogue, like whenever someone mentions him they have to bring up the fact that he killed twenty seven people by stabbing them with railroad spikes and he buried his victims under a railroad track. As far as the characters, the protagonists are Lisa and her two cheerleader friends (all of whom are hot) and their three boyfriends. And then there's this Groundskeeper guy who takes care of Lisa's aunts house and is basically the crazy, local guy who's only purpose is to warn people. He also looks like a homeless version of Mark McGrath from
Sugar Ray. Overall, it's a bad movie with quite possibly some of the worst acting I've ever seen and a pretty generic story, but the end result is that it's so unintentionally funny that it's almost impossible to hate. The most random scenes in the movie are during the third act somewhere there's a shot of someone playing the piano but you only see the person's hands. He starts playing and the song serves as background music but then you never see the person again and you can't figure out WHO IT IS because everyone who's not DEAD by that point is actually involved with something on screen! Another WTF moment. The second scene of randomness is actually one of the cheap scares. The protagonists are walking through a room and then the face of the Groundskeeper flashes on the screen for a second with a loud, jump-out-of-your-seat noise in the background, and then it cuts back to the teens. HUGE WTF moment. And it's not even scary, which makes it that much funnier. However, there are actually some good things that may or may not have been intended. Some of the music in the film actually sounds like Goblin's
SUSPIRIA theme song, and there's a song playing throughout parts of the movie that sounds like "Something I Can Never Have" by
Nine Inch Nails. And SPIKER also takes it back to the old school Slasher films by including obligatory female nudity and a completely unnecessary upskirt shot of the girls while they're in their cheerleader outfits. And finally the film's quality, while low budget, is still watchable and not entirely bad.
In the end, SPIKER is actually a terrible movie. It's definitely a 1.5 star film. Along with the script, story, and acting, even the GORE is disappointing. But on the other hand, SPIKER is one of those movies that's so bad it's good. It's not just unintentionally funny, it's unintentionally HILARIOUS. I often found myself in awe of how unbelievably dumb this movie is. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this movie but I wouldn't talk anyone out of watching it. If you happen to see it, you'll probably be entertained for the same reasons I was. It's definitely a movie that you can watch with a few of your buddies and make fun of while having a few beers. But then again, you could do so much better.
1.5 stars
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
two points about the movie, February 15, 2009
This review is from: Spiker (DVD)
first, i think the spiker's anger is misplaced. it doesn't say much for the spiker that a flea ridden dirtbag like the yokel in the movie could steal the spikers girl, impregnate her and then marry her. the spiker has got to look in the mirror and stop blaming others. second, the spiker missed his calling in life. given the spiker's incredible ability to throw railroad spikes for distance and accuracy i believe he could have been a great NFL quarterback. the spiker also exhibits a tremendous ability to absorb punishment, a prerequisite for a successful NFL career. if he would have taken this path in life instead of becoming a serial killer he would have had cheerleaders and hollywood starlets to console him. he could have more easily gotten over his first love and saved everyone a lot of trouble. well, that's about it. i liked the movie but think the spiker could have made better choices in his girlfriend and career.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
don't knock up the spiker's girl, February 15, 2009
A Kid's Review
This review is from: Spiker (DVD)
this is vital. no less than 27 members of the local populace may die a horrible death because of your transgresssion! leave the spiker's girl alone. because after she's knocked up and the spiker throws her in front of a train he will take a terrible vengence on the rest of humanity. using spikes as his tool he will never forgive the wrong done to him. nothing can stop the spiker or assauage his anger. this movie is the story of his quest to right the wrong done to him. there is NO END to his vengence!
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