The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings In The Ways Of Relationships [Hardcover]

Sobonfu Some (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 20, 1999

A renowned, respected teacher and mentor to thousands, Sobonfu Som is one of the first and foremost voices of African spirituality to come to the West. Som was born in Dano, Burkina Faso, a remote West African village with a population of about two hundred people. Dano has preserved the old ways of African village life, with family structures, spiritual practices, and methods of living that have been in place for more than ten thousand years. In The Spirit of Intimacy, Som distills the ancient teachings and wisdom of her native village to give insight into the nature of intimate relationships.

Som generously applies the subtle knowledge from her West African culture to this one. Simply and beautifully, she reveals the role of spirit in every marriage, friendship, relationship, and community. She shares ancient ways to make our intimate lives more fulfilling and secure and offers powerful insights into the "illusion of romance," divorce, and loss. Her important and fascinating lessons from the heart include the sacred meaning of pleasure, preparing a ritual space for intimacy, and the connection between sex and spirituality. Her ideas are intuitively persuasive, provocative, and healing(and supported by sound practical advice, along with specific rituals and ceremonies based on those used for thousands of years. With this book, the spiritual insights of indigenous Africa take their place alongside those of native America, ancient Europe, and Asia as important influences on Western readers.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a teacher who can help us put together so many things that our modern western world has broken." -- Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

About the Author

Sobonfu Som was born in West Africa, and today travels the world with her husband, Malidoma Som, conducting seminars and workshops that offer their native perspective on intimacy, spirituality, and the sacredness of everyday life. Sobonfu and her husband live in Oakland, California, and Dano, Burkina Faso, West Africa.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 144 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow; 1st edition (January 20, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0688164501
• ISBN-13: 978-0688164508
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #280,826 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Take this anywhere: desert island, beyond the grave . . ., May 2, 2003

By 

Phil Rogers (Ann Arbor, Michigan) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships (Paperback)

I remember how much we liked Kahlil Gibran's 'The Prophet' back in 1969. This is another little book (even easier to carry around) which is chock full of knowledge and wisdom, but it's even more. It will get you high just reading it, even though to truly practice what Ms. Some writes about will truly take a lot of work. But if you can find a group of people who want to support each other in this way, by all means . . .

Sobonfu (I met her and her husband in Michigan about 10 years ago) grew up in a Dagaara community in southern Burkina Faso (West Aftica); most of what she writes about is what they actually practice, and to good effect, in the villages there. It's all tried, tested, and true to life.

She, like her husband, is extremely smooth and articulate in her use of language, and really gets her point across . . . reading this will change your mind about a lot of things. It's golden knowledge, really.

Her explanations about how spirit works in the context of an intimate relationship, about the place of ritual in a community lifestyle, and so on, are full of heart, and very, very practical. Wiccans and other modern-day 'ritualists' will find a great deal here upon which to ruminate. It's simply put, but never simplistic; there's not a gram of cookie-cutter mentality here. The methods work because things are set up to be responsive to any kind of situation that may crop up. Not necessarily infallible, but there's not much to screw up here if you pursue things honestly and with good support people.

Towards the end there were some things that I didn't completely understand, but I imagine it's a matter of getting more experience.

All of hers and her husband's books formulate multiple structures of thought/feeling which can give the reader numerous opportunities [while reading/thinking - or even sub/unconsiously) to re-envision/reclaim all kinds of experiences that you have passed through and that have passed you by in your life. It's almost as if you can travel to any point in your past, re-insert part of yourself, and relive the moment in a better way. And that can have a wondrous and powerfully positive effect on the present. I don't understand whether this is a by-product, or if it occurs as if by design. Sobonfu would probably say it hardly matters - that it's part of the workings of spirit. And I can live with that. And as she says in closing, "People may say that you're weird, and that you're reading about weird people, but you know, perhaps it's time to celebrate being weird."

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Piece, October 30, 2000

By 

"princess539" (New York, New York USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships (Paperback)

I fell in love with this marvelous book the moment I opened it. There are so many beautiful spiritual truths between the covers of this uniquely special book. I have passed this one on to a rare and unusual couple because spirit led me. Do yourself a favor and purchase and treasure the truths that are laid out before you.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What we all need!, April 13, 2001

By 

R. Anthony Mills "R. A. Mills" (Baltimore) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships (Paperback)

Reading this book opened my eyes to the realization that there are certain things needed for a man and woman to successfully communicate in a relationship. Though, like many, I thought I'd weathered the storm and been thoroughly prepared, I found that there were a number of things I needed to improve upon.

Having met Sobonfu, I can only say that she embodies what she's written. Reading a book has a different affect on you once you've met the author. The spirit she exemplifies is the one she writes about in the book.

My suggestion is to buy it, read it, and then tell all your friends and family to do the same. Don't do Sobonfu an injustice by borrowing or loaning this book. Give her her just rewards buy purchasing your own copy. It's worth every cent and then some.