Customer Reviews

Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extrardinary Life

5 star:		(46)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

If you are thinking about ending your marriage, seperated or already divorced, Debbie Ford shines a bright light on the path toward reclaiming your spirit. You can spend years in therapy or sit down and absorb the insights that Debbie offers as she shares candidly and with great passion, the journey to not only heal, but rediscover who you are and where you are headed.

In a quote from Proust Debbie captures how we must shift our vision when confronted with the pain, fear, anger and uncertainty that divorce bestows upon us - "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

Through Ford's new eyes and personal divorce experience, we learn from and make peace with what we are leaving behind and focus on what new vistas and opportunities are opening up for us. She offers 7 spiritual laws for healing and takes us through these stages with examples that we can all relate to. We begin with acceptance and move along through various stages, including forgiveness and accepting responsiblity. We transform this experience into a new future, filled with the power, energy and knowledge we have gathered from this life lesson.

Debbie guides us through this journey with support, warmth and enthusiasm and the reader is left with the vision of unlimited opportunities by seeing tomorrow through "new eyes". I have read many books on divorce, but none as powerful,hopeful and motivating as "Spiritual Divorce". Thank you Ms. Ford for lighting the way for me.

The basic mantra of this book is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and until you let go of your anger toward your former SO, you won't heal. This message is repeated over and over, in many very helpful ways.

When I was first seperated, I was a victim of cloudy thinking, life as I knew it was over. And while that was true, it has become a spring board for personal growth and a new life. It's the no pain, no gain theory of life. While I would not advocate this life experience as good plan, if it happens to you, you might as well use it as an opportunity to grow.

While it has been a number of years since the divorce, I still found some good information about myself within the pages of this book. Plus it was an affirmation that the course I was on is the right one. (Also people thinking about getting married, might do well to read this for the information on how not to choose a mate, as Ms. Ford goes over what happened with her marriage. The misplaced expectations and poor commuincation.)

"A Spiritual Divorce is one in which we use our divorce to improve our lives and our experience becomes one of gain rather than loss," Debbie Ford writes in the opening pages of her 209-page guide to an extraordinary life after divorce. "A Spiritual Divorce brings us back into the presence of our highest self and heals the split between our ego and our soul" (p. 5). After studying Transpersonal Psychology at JFK University (p. 29), Ford became a healing workshop facilitator at the Chopra Center for Well Being. She writes from experience, and she knows the pain of divorce.

The "divorce drama" leaves many of us feeling diminished and bereft. I've learned from my own experience there is no set timetable for recovery from divorce. After my divorce, while others advised me to "get mad and get over," my heart told me to embrace my loss and integrate it along with the pain into my new life. This is also the premise of Ford's book which, after several readings, has helped me move beyond a very painful place in my life. She encourages us to step into the storm of of our turbulent emotions, for "we can't heal what we can't feel" (p. 80). The painful experience of divorce represents "a sacred and significant time" in our lives that provides us with an opportunity to know our deepest selves (p. 80). In that respect, divorce is like a gift from the universe.

After an insightful Foreward by Neale Donald Walsh, Ford's book follows "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce:" Acceptance (pp. 11-38); Surrender (pp. 39-56); Divine Guidance (pp. 57-74); Responsibility (pp. 75-126); Choice (pp. 127-66); Forgiveness (pp. 167-86); and Creation (pp. 187-210), showing us along the way, that the breakdown of one's marriage is for the highest good (p. 9), that suffering is really nothing more than the difference between what is and what we want it to be (p. 49), and that we have a choice in how we interpret our experiences (pp. 136-47). Ford encourages us to think of divorce as an enlightening experience, a spiritual wake-up call, and an opportunity for renewal rather than ruin. For anyone hoping to recover from a failed relationship, SPIRITUAL DIVORCE is a step in the right direction. And for anyone who has made the painful journey through a failed marriage, reading Ford's SPIRITUAL DIVORCE might just leave you wanting to send your ex-spouse a thank-you card.

G. Merritt

Once I picked this book up, I could not put it down. Every chapter led me to new levels of self acceptance, freedom, forgiveness and hope.

The book takes you on a journey through the seven laws for having a spiritual divorce -- acceptance, surrender, divine guidance, responsibility, choice, forgiveness and creation. Each step along the way to healing is punctuated with down-to-earth exercises, examples, and the author's own compelling story.

I was totally inspired by this book, and by Debbie Ford's work. I've already recommended it to several of my friends. This book will heal the hearts of everyone who reads it, and could ultimately transform the experience of divorce as we know it.

In a deep state of depression, I looked up "divorce" on Amazon.com, hoping to find something to help me through the pain of my own divorce. Let me state first that I have read several books, dozens perhaps, by so-called "life coaches" or self-help "gurus." While there is wisdom in many of them, none of those books connected to me in any deep, visceral, meaningful way. Then I found this book.

I took a chance and ordered it. When it arrived, I began reading it immediately. Within minutes I knew I had made the right decision. Debbie Ford was writing about the EXACT feelings I was having, laying bare the hurt, self-doubt, ego, jealousy, anger etc that was ruling my mind. This wonderful book reached places deep inside my mind and spirit that have been malnourished for years.

This book is NOT a bunch of new agey platitudes and superstitious claptrap. It is written in clear, almost conversational tones and is very easy to understand and absorb. I found myself highlighting sentences on EVERY page. It truly is a wonder.

Debbie Ford has been through divorce herself, and as a life coach, such a "failure" could have been disastrous for her. But she realized, as we all must, that divorce is NOT a failure at all. It is an opportunity to learn and grow, to find out what it was we gained from our relationship and how to use that information to better ourselves. It is about acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude, not vindictiveness, fear or jealousy.

Relationships don't end. They cannot. They can only change. Those we are tied to in a relationship are tied to us forever, even if only in the seemingly smallest way. A part of us is with them forever, and a part of them is with us. We can spend the rest of our lives bemoaning our fate, wondering why this happened, how could they have done this to us, why does life have to be like this etc, or we can really look at if those are the questions that need answering.

Jettison negativity, throw away hurtful thoughts and feelings, rebound from your divorce in a way you never thought possible. I don't know exactly why I chose this book over the dozens of other books available on divorce. I can only come to the conclusion that I was meant to.

I had never heard of Debbie Ford before I got this book, and the thought of taking relationship advice from a woman, especially when one had (I thought) just broken my heart, seemed like a stupid idea.

I was wrong. This was perhaps the most important book purchase I have made in the last 20 years, if not in my entire life.

Will everyone gain what I have from this book? Who can say? I doubt it. Different strokes for different folks. I find it hard to believe that anyone could have a less-than-amazing experience with this book, but I suppose it is possible. If you are experiencing relationship trouble, a divorce, a messy breakup--or even if you aren't and are just looking for insight into the workings of relationships themselves--do yourself a favor and get this book.

I can't recommend it highly enough.

To express how truly wonderful and helpful and enlightening and potentially life-changing this book is. In a way it's almost unfortunate that the book has the title "Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as A Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life," because a lot of people are going to pass right by it on the book shelf because they are going to feel it doesn't apply to them. In fact IT APPLIES TO VIRTUALLY ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE AND SHARE THAT BEST WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING BE IT IN MARRIAGE, FRIENDSHIPS OR WORK RELATIONSHIPS. In other words, this is NOT just a book for couples contemplating separation or even a book just for couples. Anyone who wants to grow as a human being, get the most from what life and people have to teach them and get rid of the baggage or negative thinking that might prevent -- or is preventing --them from having a healthy, long-lasting loving, productive relationship with another person should read this book.Trust me it is THAT good.

This book gave me the tools to end my marriage peacefully and amicably with my now ex-husband. It allowed me to see the end of my marriage not as a failure, but as a success. As I got more into the book, the more excited I became over the rightness in me. I read it while on vacation and when the vacation was over and the marriage was truly winding down, I was able to truly thank my ex-husband for the lessons I learned about myself through him. I could not have done this without this wonderful book. I have since referred this book to many people and all agree that it changes their outlook on divorce in a most positive way.

Debbie Ford is a talented, thoughtful writer. As in her book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" (another MUST read), she shows you that out of the most painful experiences can sometimes come the most joyful lessons.

Everyone contemplating a divorce should read this book.

As a guy who was going through a painful divorce, this book was a Godsend. Although portions of it might be described as "psycho-babble", for the most part it is nothing other than gold. The chapters on "Acceptance" and "Surrendering" changed my healing process dramatically and forever changed my perspective on life. In the darkest times of the divorce, I found myself going back to the book time and time again.

My belief has always been that "There's a reason for everything" and along comes Debbie Ford's 'Spiritual Divorce' that not only supports this belief but beautifully illustrates, explains,and embellishes this idea. This book is not only for those that are in the realm of a divorce, but for anyone who wants to (like me) reach a higher level within themselves, and not let other people (or events) negatively affect their attitude toward life. This book is even for those folks who think they're 'OK', that they aren't in need of a 'makeover'...this book gives all who reads it an uplift in their life...it's an intriguing collection of thoughts and ideas and methodologies based on good old fundamental principles, trust in yourself and Fate, and Divine Intervention, and the simple belief that God has a reason for everything.

I need a new highlighter after reading this book...a favorite passage is (though there is many): "As you can see, you never know how life will turn out or why particular events occur. The Law of Acceptance teaches us that we always evolving, whether we are aware of it or not. What might look like the worst event that has ever befallen you could be part of a brilliantly designed plan that will lead you to a place of fulfillment, peace,and contentment. Accepting your circumstaces instantly relieves you of your internal struggle and frees you to start seeing new possibilities."

This book validated, as if it were written for me, almost every fear I knew or didn't know that I had. I learned my own faults through the self-realization practice that Debbie walks the reader through, and was able to talk to my husband honestly about some things for the first time in years. This book is easy reading and had me reading passages over and over in awe as to how much the book talked directly to "me"...and how articulately yet simply written the whole book is.

Another thing I liked about this book is that it talks freely and adamantly about God...not religion, but God and his Divine Intervention. I've always struggled with summing up my personal relationship with God into any particular religion, and thankfully, Debbie talked nothing of religion - but instead of God and the trust we should have in Him that everything happens for a reason. There's a story about angels in here that had me sobbing...with relief...with revelation that we are exactly where are supposed to be.

I guarantee that everyone will benefit from this book and while the each of us may walk away focusing on different areas than others, my opinion of Debbie's bottom line will be the same for all of us when reading this: We learn from each and every experience, no matter how bad it is at the time...Every relationship, every life event, is a lesson learned...and most importantly, remember that "...there is a very specific reason that we are standing in this exact place at this moment and time."

An incredible, excellent book...it's like a bible for the soul. Easily earns it's 5 star rating.

Happy reading fellow ... friend, and congratulations on the personal journey you are about to experience through Debbie Fords' 'Spiritual Divorce'.

Let me preface this review by saying that I never thought I was the type of person to buy self-help books. But this year, when I started experiencing marital problems as well as other personal issues, I stumbled across Debbie Ford's books, and they have literally changed my life (I can't believe I am saying this!).

This book helped me earlier in the year make the decision to finally separate from my husband, and it is helping me now as we go through the tedious process of breaking up. Debbie's wonderful insight on ending a new life and beginning another and her personal story of divorce is motivating and comforting and has given me hope for my future and the future of my husband.

I think many people going through a separation or divorce feel very alone (I know I do) since you are creating a sea of distance between you and the person to whom you were previously closest. This book has helped me realize that I am not alone and that I have the power, through this difficult time, to create a beautiful life for myself - a life that I deserve. In addition, as a Catholic, I am learning to accept that God can be as much a part of divorce as a part of marriage.

I highly recommend this book to anyone experiencing marital problems, contemplating separation or divorce or in the process of a break-up. In addition, I would give a copy to family members or friends of those going through a divorce who also might be having troubles with the situation. I have read a number of Debbie Ford books now, and when I finished reading them, I feel infinitely better about myself and my situation and enlightened in a way. What more can you ask from a self-help book?