Split: A Memoir of Divorce [Mass Market Paperback]

Suzanne Finnamore (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 7, 2009

?Not only funny, it?s also fully triumphant...a heartbreaking pleasure to read.?(Elle)

Suzanne Finnamore didn?t see it coming. Well, she saw some things?for example, a cocktail napkin on which her husband had scribbled a Cole Porter love song and an indecipherable name?but she refused to acknowledge it. She was busy tending to their son and creating the perfect home. Until the night it all imploded. ?I deserve happiness,? he said, which apparently translated into ousting her from his life. At once funny, sad, and unflinchingly fierce, this memoir will resonate with anyone who has endured the end of a relationship?and come out on the other side changed.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

California journalist and author Finnamore (The Zygote Chronicles) renders a sharp, cut-to-the-quick account of her painful divorce after five years of marriage. Living in the canyons of tony Marin County with her marketing v-p husband, N, and their toddler son she calls A, the author is devastated by N's announcement that he wants a divorce—and yet she is not surprised. In brief, astute chapters riddled with a dry, deadpan humor, the author reconstructs this surreal journey from giddy romance with a suave older man (she is 40, while he is in his 50s), through motherhood and the dawning suspicions of his infidelity, to his abandonment and denial that he is involved with someone else. Finnamore enlists various characters to see her through her crisis, which spans denial and anger, grief and acceptance: her jaded, long remarried mother, Bunny, who brings the pain-killers and stocks the house with junk food; her no-nonsense diminutive friend Lisa, who remarks upon hearing the news of the divorce, You have no idea how I have longed for this day; and her vehemently antimarriage childhood buddy Christian. Eschewing a divorce lawyer, Finnamore manages to come through with the help of her friends and conveys in this frank, winning memoir her supreme vulnerability and bravery. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

In this mordant memoir, novelist Finnamore takes readers through the dark, devastating days of her divorce. She begins with the moment her then-husband, referred to only as N, announces he’s leaving (he tells her she’s beautiful first), tracing her traumatic emotional journey through denial, anger, bargaining, grief, and, ultimately, acceptance. It’s not that there weren’t signs: a woman’s name scribbled on a cocktail napkin, a small volume of Zen poetry amorously inscribed to N. But Finnamore can’t believe that a relationship sprinkled with romantic moments and satisfying sex became so ravaged and raw. Finnamore changes names and details to protect the innocent. She also directs plenty of invective at her ex (though she says the two are now best friends). Part advice manual, part rant, this potent read percolates with Finnamore’s acerbic wit: There are so many marriage ceremonies, she writes, there ought to be one for divorce. Instead of rice, people could throw fistfuls of cash and light hallucinogens. --Allison Block --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Mass Market Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: NAL Trade; Reprint edition (April 7, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0451226003
• ISBN-13: 978-0451226006
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #755,676 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommended, August 18, 2008

By 

therese raquin (NYC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Split: A Memoir of Divorce (Hardcover)

I have read every book on this subject (divorce). Although it came out a bit late in the day (decade) for me - or rather for my own divorce - it still provided still needed succor. Funny and beautifully written and studded with sentences you will want to write down. Highly recommended.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very true portrayal of women going through divorce, May 14, 2008

By 

Determined dog rescuer (Elk Grove Village) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Split: A Memoir of Divorce (Hardcover)

I could not put this book down. Finnamore brings the utter angst, grief and full gamut of emotions one experiences when getting divorced in this wonderful memoir. I look forward to reading her novels and wish her the best.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Change The Locks, May 1, 2008

By 

Story Circle Book Reviews - See all my reviews

This review is from: Split: A Memoir of Divorce (Hardcover)

One Friday evening, Suzanne Finnamore's life splits wide open. She stands in her kitchen in black cigarette pants, checking her lipstick and anticipating the weekend when her husband strolls in the door, gives her a kiss, grabs a martini, and, very soon, delivers the life-rending blow.

He states it simply and explicitly, "I. Want. A. Divorce." After telling his devastated spouse that he deserves happiness, he packs, puts on his best blazer and is out the door.

What about her? Both the reader and the soon-to-be-former wife wonder.

Split is painful and enlightening to read as Finnamore recounts her despair and eventual recovery. (She assures us in the preface that both she and her son are well and happy, so I'm not giving anything away.) What is delightful and riveting about the book is that Finnamore is a fine writer with a quick and insightful sense of humor. What could be bleak and discouraging turns out to be quite the opposite.

The heroine (and she is one) may lose N, as she designates him, but she gains insight from her more-than-delightful mother, Bunny. The morning after the leave-taking, Bunny shows up with a fifth of Jack Daniels and a half-gallon of butter pecan ice cream. Now there's a mom! Bunny isn't the only one to stick by Finnamore. Her friend Lisa is always there for her and never, ever, there for N. Lisa is wise. She knows just when to reveal some difficult truths and when to offer moral support.

Some people say that divorce is harder than widowhood because the jerk keeps showing up. Both are the loss of a relationship; mourning must be done. Finnamore casts her successful journey to recovery in terms of the classic model of loss, moving forward across the stages from denial through anger, bargaining, and grief until finally arriving at acceptance. And she does it with good nature and understanding.

Consider, for example, a few of her entries: "Ten Simple Yet Elegant Tips for Divorce;" "Change the locks;" and "When confronted with a practical question regarding fairness to your ex, err on the side of lifetime vendetta." Clearly, these are from the "Acceptance" stage.

While anyone who has been part of an ending relationship, whether through divorce or otherwise, will appreciate Split. The audience is not that limited. All readers who enjoy a skillfully written memoir will relish this book and be looking for more Finnamore to delight in.

by Patricia Nordyke Pando
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women