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Split: A Memoir of Divorce Paperback – April 7, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
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Top Customer Reviews
I'll admit, I read this with a touch of melancholy, for I have always read "Otherwise Engaged" and "The Zygote Chronicles" as fictionalized memoirs, and I felt that I knew the characters already, it's just that they happened to be wearing new pseudonyms. And to watch the dissolution of the family I felt that I was privileged to see grow was an oddly personal experience for me. Although, to be frank, it would be difficult NOT to read this novel with a personal sense of sadness, for Finnamore so accurately captures every emotion -- every tortured moment of anger and frustration and sadness -- in such a universal way that it's as though you're living through it with her. It's a brilliant journey of heartbreak, sadness, and ultimately redemption, laced with Finnamore's trademark black humor. Divorce, it seems, can be deadly funny.
That being said, I don't recommend you start here if you're new to Finnamore. Although the book stands alone on its own merit, I must add that there is an extra layer of poignancy added if you've read her other two novels. By the time she emerges victorious, if battered, from her journey, you're as triumphant as she is, for you've seen not just the bad, but the good, too, that made the road that much more difficult.
He states it simply and explicitly, "I. Want. A. Divorce." After telling his devastated spouse that he deserves happiness, he packs, puts on his best blazer and is out the door.
What about her? Both the reader and the soon-to-be-former wife wonder.
Split is painful and enlightening to read as Finnamore recounts her despair and eventual recovery. (She assures us in the preface that both she and her son are well and happy, so I'm not giving anything away.) What is delightful and riveting about the book is that Finnamore is a fine writer with a quick and insightful sense of humor. What could be bleak and discouraging turns out to be quite the opposite.
The heroine (and she is one) may lose N, as she designates him, but she gains insight from her more-than-delightful mother, Bunny. The morning after the leave-taking, Bunny shows up with a fifth of Jack Daniels and a half-gallon of butter pecan ice cream. Now there's a mom! Bunny isn't the only one to stick by Finnamore. Her friend Lisa is always there for her and never, ever, there for N. Lisa is wise. She knows just when to reveal some difficult truths and when to offer moral support.
Some people say that divorce is harder than widowhood because the jerk keeps showing up. Both are the loss of a relationship; mourning must be done.Read more ›
Having recently "Split" from my spouse of 17 years I found Suzanne Finnamore's memoir of love, loss, and desperation to be sadly accurate and unflinchingly honest. I found relief in the laughter that came by the hysterical re-telling of some of her more "eccentric" tales of how she coped with the pain, loss, sadness and fear of becoming an unexpected single mother and ex-wife.
When describing the pain she experienced at the sudden and inexplicable betrayal of her husband I felt as if she was standing over my shoulder while I wrote in my journal using the material as her own. It was good to know I was not alone. Is it appropriate to say that?
While my personal situation differed in many ways from hers, the core pain was well illustrated. The five stages of grief were well thought out and applied to the death of her marriage and definately feelings I can (almost) identify with but give me time because with books like Suzanne Finnemore's I am definately on my way.
1. Denial/Isolation - Yup.
2. Anger - Finally!
3. Bargaining - Didn't work.
4. Depression - Comes and goes.
5. Acceptance - Working towards it...
Thank you, Suzanne Finnemore for writing this book. Not only did I enjoy it but it gave me hope that all roads lead to a good story!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The author's writing style is what kept me throughout. I admire her recount of things- it's very relatable but still general enough to be personal to her. Good readPublished 2 months ago by Christine Maynard
I liked the raw emotion used in this book. It seems this is a realistic approach to what someone would really be feeling through a life changing event. Read morePublished 10 months ago by Courtney
Great, humorous read! After it is all over! Don't think I would have enjoyed it while still in the middle of the legal process.Published 10 months ago by BT,DT, Got the shirt
I'm going through a separation with my husband of 18 years, and although the circumstances are different, Split made me feel like I wasn't alone. Read morePublished 13 months ago by csb