Customer Reviews

Split: A Memoir of Divorce

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I have read every book on this subject (divorce). Although it came out a bit late in the day (decade) for me - or rather for my own divorce - it still provided still needed succor. Funny and beautifully written and studded with sentences you will want to write down. Highly recommended.

I could not put this book down. Finnamore brings the utter angst, grief and full gamut of emotions one experiences when getting divorced in this wonderful memoir. I look forward to reading her novels and wish her the best.

One Friday evening, Suzanne Finnamore's life splits wide open. She stands in her kitchen in black cigarette pants, checking her lipstick and anticipating the weekend when her husband strolls in the door, gives her a kiss, grabs a martini, and, very soon, delivers the life-rending blow.

He states it simply and explicitly, "I. Want. A. Divorce." After telling his devastated spouse that he deserves happiness, he packs, puts on his best blazer and is out the door.

What about her? Both the reader and the soon-to-be-former wife wonder.

Split is painful and enlightening to read as Finnamore recounts her despair and eventual recovery. (She assures us in the preface that both she and her son are well and happy, so I'm not giving anything away.) What is delightful and riveting about the book is that Finnamore is a fine writer with a quick and insightful sense of humor. What could be bleak and discouraging turns out to be quite the opposite.

The heroine (and she is one) may lose N, as she designates him, but she gains insight from her more-than-delightful mother, Bunny. The morning after the leave-taking, Bunny shows up with a fifth of Jack Daniels and a half-gallon of butter pecan ice cream. Now there's a mom! Bunny isn't the only one to stick by Finnamore. Her friend Lisa is always there for her and never, ever, there for N. Lisa is wise. She knows just when to reveal some difficult truths and when to offer moral support.

Some people say that divorce is harder than widowhood because the jerk keeps showing up. Both are the loss of a relationship; mourning must be done. Finnamore casts her successful journey to recovery in terms of the classic model of loss, moving forward across the stages from denial through anger, bargaining, and grief until finally arriving at acceptance. And she does it with good nature and understanding.

Consider, for example, a few of her entries: "Ten Simple Yet Elegant Tips for Divorce;" "Change the locks;" and "When confronted with a practical question regarding fairness to your ex, err on the side of lifetime vendetta." Clearly, these are from the "Acceptance" stage.

While anyone who has been part of an ending relationship, whether through divorce or otherwise, will appreciate Split. The audience is not that limited. All readers who enjoy a skillfully written memoir will relish this book and be looking for more Finnamore to delight in.

by Patricia Nordyke Pando
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

It' s incredibly difficult to be funny while telling a heartbreaking story, but Finnamore absolutely pulls it off. Every page crackles with wit and intelligence. Anyone who is going through a divorce owes it to herself to read this book and discover how to come out the other side of the experience stronger and with her sense of humor completely intact. If you don't like this book, seek professional help. Every page is an undiluted joy.

I've been a fan of Finnamore since -- well, it feels like it's been since the day I started reading books, but we all know that makes no sense, as I'm not an infant. She is by far one of the most underrated writers of our time, and her background as an advertising copywriter is reflected in every page, every pithy sentence that is perfectly constructed to capture as much meaning as possible. Split is no exception, and brings the same concise brilliance that Otherwise Engaged and The Zygote Chronicles demonstrated so successfully. There isn't a wasted word here -- she perfectly captures entire scenes, emotions, inner monologues -- in raw, electric sentences that leap off the page.

I'll admit, I read this with a touch of melancholy, for I have always read "Otherwise Engaged" and "The Zygote Chronicles" as fictionalized memoirs, and I felt that I knew the characters already, it's just that they happened to be wearing new pseudonyms. And to watch the dissolution of the family I felt that I was privileged to see grow was an oddly personal experience for me. Although, to be frank, it would be difficult NOT to read this novel with a personal sense of sadness, for Finnamore so accurately captures every emotion -- every tortured moment of anger and frustration and sadness -- in such a universal way that it's as though you're living through it with her. It's a brilliant journey of heartbreak, sadness, and ultimately redemption, laced with Finnamore's trademark black humor. Divorce, it seems, can be deadly funny.

That being said, I don't recommend you start here if you're new to Finnamore. Although the book stands alone on its own merit, I must add that there is an extra layer of poignancy added if you've read her other two novels. By the time she emerges victorious, if battered, from her journey, you're as triumphant as she is, for you've seen not just the bad, but the good, too, that made the road that much more difficult.

This book kept me up way past my bedtime! It is so full of heart, humor and honesty that you will alternately laugh out loud or maybe shed a tear or two. And no, it is not just for the gals, or people have been divorced or betrayed, but anyone who enjoys a witty, entertaining book. Suzanne is so talented that she managed to take her painful divorce and turn it into a brilliant memoir. I highly recommend this.

I am in the midst of an unwanted divorce. Suzanne absolutely nails the feelings of those of us left behind in the dust of our husband's quest for eternal youth and "happiness" - their happiness, not ours and our children's. If you want a glimpse inside the emotional trainwreck that is divorce, but with humor and style, read this book. It may help you wade through your own divorce or help you understand women in your life who have been betrayed by their spouse. It is a quick read - I read it in two hours without stopping.

You see lots of books clamming to help you better understand women and their inner most thoughts. You buy the book and you don't learn a thing. You get your money's worth and more if you read this book. Suzanne Finnamore (Luckenbach's) book, "Split - A Memoir of Divorce" which is about her tough divorce and her thoughts/actions going through this very difficult and rough patch in her life. Throughout the book, she projects an air of dignity while being dragged through the mud. As she tells her story, you find her sincere and uncommonly likeable. After reading the book, I went out and bought two flannel shirts...read the book and you'll know why.

I recently went through a divorce and picked up the book hesitantly, not sure what it would evoke. Turns out the book was emotional for me, yes, but it was also funny. And moving. And absolutely lovely to read. I had a nice long plane trip to get through and reading Split made it fly (well not literally, because the plane would have flown regardless). Finnamore writes in such a way that her sentiment stays with you even after you close the book. Great, great book.

Suzanne Finnamore is hands down on my list of top five favorite authors. READ ALL OF HER BOOKS! Although she writes of the obvious heartbreak and sadness that comes with divorce, her uncanny whit and brutal honesty will make you laugh at loud and fall in love with her writing at the same time.