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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder Paperback – July 1, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (July 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1608820254
  • ISBN-13: 978-1608820252
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (126 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,224 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers’ odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances.”
—Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin and author of Contemplating Divorce and Stronger Day by Day

From the Publisher

Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a "persuasive blamer": someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).


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Customer Reviews

I wish I had read this book sooner.
Avid learner
That is why this book is so helpful, in addition to your family law attorney's legal advice.
MarkA
This book gives a lot of good information.
Teresa

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

160 of 165 people found the following review helpful By ef on July 17, 2011
Format: Paperback
Does your partner have periods of uncontrollable rage? Bizarre behaviors? A truly astonishing ability to twist words and reinterpret reality around you? Wild mood swings? Hair trigger temper? Have you been desperate enough that you spend your free time surreptitiously Google-ing psychological disorders to try to "poor mans diagnose" what you're dealing with?

Clearly you have. If you're reading this, you're probably doing research Right Now in the vain hope of getting an answer to the one question you've been asking yourself night and day for as long as you can remember: What Do I Do?

If that sounds like you, get this book, it will save your life.

On second thought, clear your browser cache, erase cookies and search history, and beg a friend to buy this book for you so it does not get shipped to your home address. I'm not kidding. Read the title again.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After having gone through the first years of post separation & divorce, I can definitely agree that PROTECTING YOURSELF is top priority when separating, especially if you have children. Educate yourself while quietly documenting the spouse's behaviors, quietly and confidentially seek the advice of a few family law attorneys who have experience with high conflict cases, carefully consider your options and prepare accordingly.

Decades ago the hot-button threats by disordered spouses were claiming you were a closet homosexual or having an affair. These days such allegations are ho-hum and ignored in most courts. What has replaced them? Claims of DV (against the spouse) and child neglect, abuse or molestation. Why? To unfairly gain advantage or keep the upper hand in the court's custody and parenting decisions. Those are extreme hot-button issues and agencies are just waiting for a call to jump into action, this is the one time where the allegation is presumed valid at first and the presumption of innocence is set aside at first. An innocent spouse or parent (you) can be arrested and charged with some very serious offenses.

If your spouse has threatened to make false allegations in the past, then that means it has been contemplated and therefore you are at heightened risk. DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT AT RISK! William Eddy presents information that will help you to avoid many common presumptions, mistakes and pitfalls us Nice Guys and Nice Gals are likely to make when we first encounter the judicial (not justice) system. Sorry, but normal common sense does not apply in court and the truth does not always prevail.
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63 of 70 people found the following review helpful By Bint on July 23, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After ordering Splitting from Amazon I was thrilled to receive this sooner than I thought. I have read it with great interest. This book gives you great insight into all aspects of breaking free from a person with a personality disorder. It actually gave me the strength inside on just how to tackle things in an efficient and practical way. It takes away the emotions. Gives you a clear understanding of what you are dealing with and because of this book, I have conversed brilliantly with my Lawyer. Worked with him and found my straightforward approach with facts, have strengthened my relationship with him. Due to this, we have worked together trustingly to bring closure before court. Hopefully this will be happening within a few days. Brilliant book. Would recommend it to anyone in a difficult breakup with Narcissistic and Borderline personalities. After reading it I also recognised that my ex had both. Well done for writing this book. Wished there was more awareness of this problem.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Stan Yarbrough on January 2, 2013
Format: Paperback
Poor sucker:

I read this book too late to fully be effective. The best advice that you can take is; show absolutely NO mercy to these soul-sucking people. Sure, it is a behavioral disorder, but there is no excuse and a great deal of choice-making that goes into the decisions that are made during the divorce process. They will never own their own faults - ever.

Borderlines will immediately begin with a character assassination and side-setting of as many people as possible, and will split up all players in the game into black and white pieces. You are black, WILL have the second move and will remain behind as long as your bank account holds out because nothing is more important to the BPD than the process of proving to the world that you are wrong, bad and probably belong in prison away from all of the white players, including only those of your children that believe the stories. It might include a custody battle with accusations of child abuse, when in fact the real abuse are the lies and deceit that are wielded upon your impressionable and confused children. The narcissists are the worst because there is absolutely no self reflection in the process. If a borderline is not narcissist, then there is a possibility to change the game during one of the many "woe is me" moments.

Absolutely DO NOT GIVE UP and do not do anything stupid. Truth does not matter in court; it is only about going through the motions. Tell your attorney to go for the jugular and spare no expense on getting your kids. However, do not fight dirty directly. Do not talk bad about your BPD ex to your kids or ANY of your common friends. Only talk about truth, including his/her mental disorder. Kids have automatic BS detectors. If you tell the truth, you will win. Period.
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