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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder Paperback – July 1, 2011
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“Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers’ odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances.”
—Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin and author of Contemplating Divorce and Stronger Day by Day
From the Publisher
Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a "persuasive blamer": someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Top Customer Reviews
Clearly you have. If you're reading this, you're probably doing research Right Now in the vain hope of getting an answer to the one question you've been asking yourself night and day for as long as you can remember: What Do I Do?
If that sounds like you, get this book, it will save your life.
On second thought, clear your browser cache, erase cookies and search history, and beg a friend to buy this book for you so it does not get shipped to your home address. I'm not kidding. Read the title again.
Decades ago the hot-button threats by disordered spouses were claiming you were a closet homosexual or having an affair. These days such allegations are ho-hum and ignored in most courts. What has replaced them? Claims of DV (against the spouse) and child neglect, abuse or molestation. Why? To unfairly gain advantage or keep the upper hand in the court's custody and parenting decisions. Those are extreme hot-button issues and agencies are just waiting for a call to jump into action, this is the one time where the allegation is presumed valid at first and the presumption of innocence is set aside at first. An innocent spouse or parent (you) can be arrested and charged with some very serious offenses.
If your spouse has threatened to make false allegations in the past, then that means it has been contemplated and therefore you are at heightened risk. DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT AT RISK! William Eddy presents information that will help you to avoid many common presumptions, mistakes and pitfalls us Nice Guys and Nice Gals are likely to make when we first encounter the judicial (not justice) system. Sorry, but normal common sense does not apply in court and the truth does not always prevail.Read more ›
I read this book too late to fully be effective. The best advice that you can take is; show absolutely NO mercy to these soul-sucking people. Sure, it is a behavioral disorder, but there is no excuse and a great deal of choice-making that goes into the decisions that are made during the divorce process. They will never own their own faults - ever.
Borderlines will immediately begin with a character assassination and side-setting of as many people as possible, and will split up all players in the game into black and white pieces. You are black, WILL have the second move and will remain behind as long as your bank account holds out because nothing is more important to the BPD than the process of proving to the world that you are wrong, bad and probably belong in prison away from all of the white players, including only those of your children that believe the stories. It might include a custody battle with accusations of child abuse, when in fact the real abuse are the lies and deceit that are wielded upon your impressionable and confused children. The narcissists are the worst because there is absolutely no self reflection in the process. If a borderline is not narcissist, then there is a possibility to change the game during one of the many "woe is me" moments.
Absolutely DO NOT GIVE UP and do not do anything stupid. Truth does not matter in court; it is only about going through the motions. Tell your attorney to go for the jugular and spare no expense on getting your kids. However, do not fight dirty directly. Do not talk bad about your BPD ex to your kids or ANY of your common friends. Only talk about truth, including his/her mental disorder. Kids have automatic BS detectors. If you tell the truth, you will win. Period.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Narcissists are the WORST. They won't learn from mistakes, because they don't readily admit to making mistakes. They're manipulative, thinking only of their own wants and needs. Read morePublished 28 days ago by Tracy C
Not the best. It's got good tips but not detailed enough on the different types of PDs and NPDs. They don't all operate the same. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Jason Lough
A good read for those involved in a relationship with someone that exhibits narcissistic / controlling tendencies. Remember: Safety First.Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
Very helpful. Every family court commissioner, judge, lawyer and family therapist should read this book. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
This was a much different book than I was expecting. I purchased it for someone I know who needs more information about divorce strategies than about the psychology of the spouse... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Julianne Brooks