Most Helpful Customer Reviews
90 of 103 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Get your honesty kids....Who wants some honesty?, June 21, 2003
By A Customer
Let's start this by assuring everyone that I am indeed a Metallica fan. In fact, if pressed to list my five favorite artists of all time, they're in at a comfortable number three slot. However, friends and neighbors, this album is not Metallica. Oh, the box says "Metallica". The radio assures us that it is indeed the rock gods themselves, and the helpful little DVD even shows Metallica singing songs off of St. Anger. The box is mislabeled, the radio lies and those must be actors in masks. Lets start with the lyrics. These are not Metallica lyrics. These are fast paced campfire songs to sing at the next AA picnic. I would not be surprised if many of the chorus phrases were copied off of motivational posters found in the break room of a post office, or a first grade classroom. Sadder still, song lyrics that manage not to sound preachy instead just sound like whining. Which is fitting, since I suppose that's what it is. Enough of that, let's move on to music. Let's start with a question : Do you like Linkin Park? Disturbed? Local bands that model themselves after the aforementioned .... and name themselves "Hatred Center" or "Pain Rangers" ? Answer yes to those and I can make this short by having you skip the rest of this review and proceeding directly back to the order confirmation page. Seriously....Shoo. Go buy the album already.....................Okay, now that we got rid of those guys, let's talk music. Let's talk about Lar's drums that have been replaced with Folgers cans. Let's talk about why his drumsticks have been replaced with kitchen whisks of some sort. I mean c'mon folks. The drums sound like they belong behind Paul Simon during a rousing rendition of "Graceland", except Paul Simon would probably have the sense to hire a drummer that can produce easily discerned beats rather than random pounding. Well, random whisking anyway. Tchick tchicka tchicka tchok. Woo hoo. Let's talk about the complete and utter lack of guitar solos. Oh, and don't hand me that "guitar solos are for hair metal" line either. I won't even bother to explain how wrong that is. Solo's MADE Metallica. Kirk helped pioneer single note solos, that's how you knew you were listening to Metallica. People modeled their guitar careers after these solos, but let's not focus on that. Let's instead focus on the COMPLETE and UTTER lack of said solos, maybe Kirk left his guitar on the subway and someone stole it. Stranger things have happened, granted he would have had to leave his feral intensity there to be stolen too. Hmmm. Let's talk about the bass riffs that are left stranded out in the rain like dead squirrels that were run over by the figurative 79' Buick of chaotic rampaging guitars. The gaps that appear in the middle of songs like wormholes near prominent Start Trek characters. The songs that try to change riffs midstream, fail, try again and then once more for emphasis they try yet again. Why? WHYYYY? I feel that I'm missing some points here. I feel that there is so much more that I could tell you, so much more you need to know. I don't know kids. That's the best I can do, may it help you in your decision making process.
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512 of 632 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
No need to worry about piracy here, June 5, 2003
After having the evening to review my thoughts, I really just can't believe this album. I literally just don't even understand how this happened. I distinctly remember reading an interview or two regarding the release of this, and how it was supposed to be like 'Justice' and how they were going back to longer, heavier songs. I'll shamefully admit that a small part of me that was anticipating this album, hoping for an ointment to the infected wounds Metallica has left me with over the last few years. I literally can't get past the first song, each time expecting it to sound better than it did the last time I heard it. It sounds like this whole album was recorded in two hours in someone's basement. I wasn't the biggest fan of the black album, and I didn't even bother with Load, but at least the production was good. I'm literally stunned at how noone at any point in the recording process spoke up to mention that the music on St. Anger sounds like a train wreck. The songs are terrible and make no sense, the lyrics are redundant and pointless, the playing is sloppy and occasionally off time with itself, Hetfield's voice sounds AWFUL, and most importantly, I feel like something is wrong with my speakers when I listen to it, because the production and mixing are all noisy and messed up. I'm disappointed that the lowest rating Amazon has is 1 Star, because the assumption with one star is that there is something of any value on this album at all, which there is not. There really should be a "zero star" rating, or even "negative star" ratings for albums like this, which rise above and beyond simply being poorly written, but are also poorly executed as well. Metallica doesn't have to worry about this album being pirated at all. This album [stinks].
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73 of 87 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
ANGER ANGER ROOOOOOAR!!!!!, June 10, 2003
Hmm, where to begin? Ok, how about this? The new Metallica CD, "St. Anger", is nothing short of awful. Yeah, that works. If Metallica weren't finished before, they most certainly are now. Having listened to the whole thing, I can say that there is not a single moment of the CD that doesn't make me want to do horrible evil things to it. Metallica are trying desperately to be heavy and scary, and somehow trying to start some kind of revolution. Guess what? Metal has been doing just fine for the last 10 years without Metallica, and it will continue to do so for many years to come. Why do I want to hear Lars trying to do blast beats, when I can hear dozens of competent drummers do it successfully? For that matter, why do I want to listen to this in the first place? Answer: I don't. Oh, and as if the music and lyrics weren't bad enough, the production is even worse. Even "Justice" had better production than this (and production still didn't stop it from being their best album). This sounds like it was recorded in the men's room at Burger King. Yep, this is just bad. I won't say I'm disappointed, because I really didn't expect much in the first place. I have no use for Metallica anymore. They may have influenced loads of other metal bands, but most of those metal bands have surpassed them in quality by far, and I think I'll just stick to those. Oh, and this does not sound like Slipknot. Slipknot may not be the best band ever, but they're way better than this. Go buy something else, like a pizza. Mmmm, pizza.
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