The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Loving Your Life without Losing Your Mind [Paperback]

Ann Pleshette Murphy (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 11, 2006

This refreshingly candid parenting book puts mothers—not children—center stage. Ann Pleshette Murphy provides a reassuring, wise, and often wildly funny mix of anecdotes and advice as she describes the seismic shifts in women’s lives and identities from pregnancy through a child’s graduation. She draws on countless conversations with mothers and with child development experts she has met as the parenting contributor to Good Morning America and as the former editor-in-chief of Parents magazine. The mother of two, Murphy freely shares her own trials and errors in stories that will have readers laughing in relief and recognition. Written with wit, warmth, and unfailing empathy, The 7 Stages of Motherhood is an exuberant and indispensable guide to making the most of motherhood.

Words of Wisdom for Every Stage of Motherhood

_ Forget  the “mothering comes naturally” myth:
And don’t be afraid to ask for help

_ Avoid keeping up with the Joneses:
Give your kids what they need, not everything they want.

_ Know when you’re in the wrong movie:
Don’t try to cast your kids in a remake of your childhood.

_ Give yourself credit for finding Lego Man’s hair:
Little acts of caring matter more to your kids than getting through your to-do list

_ Be a mother, not Mother Teresa:   
When you neglect your own needs, you shortchange your kids

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This work reads as if it were an extended Parents magazine article, and for good reason: Pleshette Murphy was the magazine's editor-in-chief for 10-plus years and is Good Morning America's parenting contributor. Incorporating the magazine's informal tone, interview style and abundance of expert opinions, she plumbs the world of motherhood from labor to toddlerhood and the teen years. Pleshette Murphy focuses not on the child but on the mother's "developmental needs at each stage of [her] child's life." She writes, " 'Knowing thyself' is never more critical than when those two little stripes of pink show up in the plastic window." With such impeccable credentials, one would expect Pleshette Murphy to be the ideal mother. Reassuringly, she isn't shy about revealing her own experiences—and occasional incompetence—as a parent to dispel the notion of the perfect mom. Some of the information is tired, her sections on working mothers feels defensive and she assumes parents can afford assistance, but these are minor faults. The calming tone,plus the fact that Pleshette Murphy not only survived motherhood, but raised two well-adjusted children, make this a comforting book for uncertain mothers.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

With so many parenting books focused on child development, Murphy, former editor of Parents magazine and current parenting contributor to Good Morning America, takes the approach of exploring how mothers develop. Divided into stages similar to child-development books, this one focuses on what skills mothers need to provide for their children and themselves. Stage 1 focuses on pregnancy and birth, with each successive stage tied to the child's age until the teen years and separation, which is the last stage covered. The advice ranges from developing teamwork when the child is an infant, to adjusting unrealistic expectations in the preschool and early school years, to letting go of independent children and forging different relationships. Drawing on her own experiences and years of writing on parenting, Murphy illustrates the myriad changes motherhood means for women, from the sublime to the absurd, and how women are transformed in the process. Mothers will welcome the point of view expressed here, which gives them a reason to focus on themselves for a change. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Anchor (April 11, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0375706356
• ISBN-13: 978-0375706356
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 7.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #458,037 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The 7 Stages of Motherhood, September 24, 2004

By 

L. Steward "mom2girls" (Indianapolis, IN) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Making the Most of Your Life as a Mom (Hardcover)

I greatly enjoyed this book! As a mother of two "tween" girls (stage 6), the chapters in the book about the early years brought back memories of that time with my girls, while the later chapters gave insight and encouragement to parenting them at their current ages and beyond. While some parenting books can be quite dull, this book makes you feel like you're having a conversation with a friend and discussing your mistakes and solutions. The author is not shy about sharing her own mistakes and trials during parenting her two children. She also has many references to parenting publications and suggestions for how to handle trying times.

The author is a former editor-in-chief of Parents magazine, of which I was a subscriber during that time. I remember reading about and seeing photos of her children in the magazine and was surprised to read they are now ages 18 and 14. Wow! Time does march on!

The ultimate message of this book is to enjoy each and every bit of motherhood, good and bad, because you will soon be wondering where the years went.

Enjoy!

51 of 66 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Extremely Negative, Downright Depressing, February 9, 2005

By 

Kelly "kelly" (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Making the Most of Your Life as a Mom (Hardcover)

I got this book because a friend of mine recommended it. I had positive expectations, but was very dissappointed. The author is EXTREMELY negative about motherhood. When she discusses the various stages of motherhood she really goes on and on about the negatives [and of course there are plenty of those] but she rarely if ever mentions the positive things about motherhood that make it SO worth it.

Her chapter on pregnancy and birth were just depressing - not ALL women experience pregnancy as an unwanted, horrible thing. Not ALL happily married women's first thought upon finding out they are pregnant is that they should have an abortion! Not ALL women feel big, fat, ugly, and completely not sexy during pregnancy. [OK, all of us may feel that way now and then, but many women have a basically very positive experience of pregnancy and birth]. And my word, her section on childbirth was alarmist at best - hysterical is more like it. She likens mothers who have unmedicated childbirth to "barbary macaque monkeys" and sees nothing positive, good, or beneficial coming from childbirth [with or without drugs]. Forget about the "rite of passage", the great reward at the end, and all that good stuff - according to Murphy, its a losing proposition all the way around.

Her chapter on the post partum time period would make a pregnant mom want to slit her wrists - she makes it sound like all mothers hate and resent their babies and spend the whole post partum period neck deep in post partum depression. While post partum depression IS a very serious issue and one that needs to be compassionately handled by all involved, this picture she paints of post partum life is just plain bleak - all the sorrows are categorized at great length and none of the joys are mentioned at all. Very sad and totally unbalanced.

Her section on breastfeeding was especially terrible. Did you know that breastfeeding is awful, painful, and really, really hard? Apparently so. I'm pregnant with my fourth, and breastfed my first three and I really didn't realize this at all. Wow. Needless to say, if you plan to breastfeed, just skip her horror stories.

I finally put the book down without finishing it. A complete waste of money. I couldn't stand the negativism and I really wondered why on earth this woman had children to start with? And WHO thought it was a good idea for her to edit Parents magazine? My children are not parasitic, life destroying organisms that I have to manage so that I can find more ME time - they are amazing, loving, vital, excellent little people. They make my life a true joy [and sometimes a real sorrow, but that's the rollercoaster of motherhood]. They are the best thing that ever happend to me, and I feel sad that apparently not all mothers feel that way.

So, be warned. If you enjoy motherhood for the most part, like your kids on most days, or find anything positive at all in being a mother, this book is likely to just depress you.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good, but not what I expected, March 15, 2006

By 

ReadingTurtle (Indiana) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Making the Most of Your Life as a Mom (Hardcover)

I thought this book would be mostly about me! Instead, I had to wade through stories and advice about child rearing to get to the few parts that were actually about the mother. It seemed more like this was the 7 Seven Stages of Child Development. If I wanted to read books about how to deal with my child at each age, I would've gotten a different book. All of this is helpful but it just wasn't what I thought the book would be about.