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Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends: Dealing with Bullies and Bossiness and Finding a Better Way Paperback – March 1, 2009

4.8 out of 5 stars 187 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Patti Kelley Criswell is the author of A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles. She is a therapist who consulted on Help! A Girl's Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies. She has a private practice in Kalamazoo, Michigan and frequently gives seminars on girls' issues. She is also a colleague of Dr. Lia Gagino, the pediatrician who advised The Care & Keeping of You. They are a true mind/body dynamic duo for girls! --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Product Details

  • Age Range: 8 and up
  • Grade Level: 3 and up
  • Lexile Measure: 740L (What's this?)
  • Paperback: 64 pages
  • Publisher: American Girl; 1 edition (March 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1593694822
  • ISBN-13: 978-1593694821
  • Product Dimensions: 7 x 0.2 x 7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (187 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #50,618 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Misty D. Reed on March 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
My daughter was being bullied at school, and we were having a difficult time in finding the right words for her to use to stand up for herself. This book helps the victim use assertive words, but not words that would get her into trouble or add to the problem. It reinforces worth and self-esteem, and features realistic advice (not just "walk away," but when to talk to parents and teachers). Also, it talks about standing up for when someone else is the victim, which further empowers young girls. There is a parent's guide in the back. Also, it is recommended for 9 and up, but my daughter is 6. Unfortunately, "mean girls" are getting younger and younger.
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Format: Paperback
I also bought this book for and read it with my 6-year old, and it was written in simple enough language for her to understand and appreciate. I found many of the definitions in the book useful, not just for her 'mean girl issues' (and we have many) but also for everyday. The book defines bullying as pretty much any behavior that's intended to make you feel bad, tattling as talk that's intended to make someone look bad, and telling as a solution or a way to get help. We use these definitions frequently as a way of encouraging kind behavior with her friends and sister. And because it's from American Girl, to her the source is just so much more credible than her parents! I really recommend this for pretty much any girl, regardless of her circumstances, from age 5 to probably 12 or 13.
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Format: Paperback
This book was wonderful in helping my 6 year old daughter through a difficult time with a child she deemed a friend.
She could not understand her friend's on-again, off-again behavior. This book was valuable to my daughter as it
was clear cut, easy to read and chock full of different examples on how to handle situations that hurt her feelings.
It also taught my daughter that the kids that say or do hurtful things may be dealing with their own issues at home or in school. The book talks about not letting others take your power/self-esteem away...and how to hold on to it when you feel sad and powerless in the "moment". It talks about strategies, who to talk to, how to react, how to help and when to bring in an adult. This covers mean kids all the way to bullying. We read the whole book in one sitting and she paid close attention. Really well written, layout is very clear and I would recommend to any parent dealing with the social arena at school.
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My daughter is 7 yrs and old and has been dealing with a slow but steady bullying/bossiness situation at her school. When I would ask her about what was going she would give few details and short answers. I was so frustrated that I couldn't find the right words to communicate with her. This book changed EVERYTHING! Within two nights I found out exactly what she had/has been going through. She related to the stories from the other children and found that the scenarios and role playing lessons were very helpful. In one week I watched my daughter become stronger and more confident.

In turn I was able to go to her school with very specific examples of what was happening. I brought the book to my meeting and they loved it so much I donated a copy for them to use.

Bullying is scary business and it's starting at younger ages. This is a fantastic way to open (or keep) those lines of communication going, build stronger family bonds and to remind our girls that they can stand up for themselves, be strong and ask for help.
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I was worried that this would be too cheesy for my preteen daughter, but she really liked it. I purchased it for her after discovering the crazy amount of ridiculous drama that was going on in her classroom involving "popular girls", "nerds" etc. This book is a great tool in reinforcing the values that I, as a parent, have shared with my daughter. We love American Girl books and this one did not disappoint.
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By H. White on January 30, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My daughter loves this book. It's very straightforward and supportive. And it's been helpful to her in trying to sort out the scary and confusing phenomena of cliques, exclusion, taunting, teasing and other social problems. It's affirmed her in trying to be the kind of loyal and fair friend she wants to be.
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I bought this book for my nine year old. We read it together, and discuss each part, relating it to her and her friends where it applies. My daughter struggled a lot last year (third grade) with figuring out who she was and what kind of friend she would be...she definitely leaned more towards the bossy side, and wasn't always a good friend even when others were being good friends to her. This book helped her realize that sometimes she was actually being a bully! She has a whole new perspective now on the type of friend she wants to be, and the type of friends she wants to have!! I HIGHLY recommend this book....I wish it could be made mandatory reading for every girl from about age seven to teenager!!
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Bought this for my 8 year old daughter as sadly the "meanness" has already started. My 10 year old son was listening as we were reading through parts of it and I think he got some valuable tips on dealing with mean kids too. I'm going to try to adopt parts of this into a badge program for my Brownie troop this fall. It's full of stories and illustrations that keep my daughters attention. Nothing revolutionary, but a great tool nonetheless.
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