Standing in Two Places: A New Landscape of Motherhood [Paperback]

Ashley Dyson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2009

Standing in Two Places is a moving memoir that tells the story of a journey through the controversial practice of surrogacy. Ashley Dyson is the intended mother who, after enthusiastically entering a surrogacy arrangement with Norah, suddenly finds herself stuck in a sort of motherhood purgatory: she is a mother of a three-year-old daughter and an unpregnant mother-to-be of a baby growing inside the womb of another woman four states away; she and Norah have formed a close friendship, but they are also business partners, the 'business' being carrying Ashley's baby; there is the traditional role of 'mother' and there is this new, ambiguous role of 'intended mother,' which for Ashley feels more like the father's role, the man who goes about his business for nine months then-Voila! a baby appears in his arms. Ashley finds herself in the middle of what she calls "an actual transition in human evolution," where she's in the passenger seat of a car, driven by a friend who also happens to be five months pregnant with her baby. This is motherhood with a twist, and it is complicated. With honesty, humor, and heartbreaking insight Ashley shares her experience of navigating through this new landscape with no guidebook, no map. "My generation and our children are the subjects of this reproductive revolution, how we live through it must be figured out on a trial and error basis," Ashley writes. And like motherhood, which demands responsibility and love, Ashley is determined to figure it out, thereby shedding light and possibility on an uncharted place. In the end, Standing in Two Places is a memoir about love. If not for love, what other reason is there to willingly throw oneself headlong into the unknown?

Product Details

• Paperback: 168 pages
• Publisher: Aberdeen Bay (September 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1608300145
• ISBN-13: 978-1608300143
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,536,186 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Ashley Dyson graduated from Middlebury College, was a student scholar at the Breadloaf Writer's Conference, and received an MFA in Creative Writing from George Mason University. She lives in New York with her husband and two children.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating and heartfelt view into surrogacy, September 15, 2009

By 

Rachel Owens (California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Standing in Two Places: A New Landscape of Motherhood (Paperback)

As a 38-year old woman grappling with fertility issues, I found this book very inspiring. Dyson's willingness to share her personal struggle in having a second child mirrored mine in many ways. While our situations not identical, her considerations about how people define motherhood, how one views one's own identity and how one is tasked to carry on, even in the most difficult of circumstances, rang true for me, too. Dyson's voice is honest, thoughtful and elegant and I especially appreciated how she integrated the voices that surround her: family members, writers, historical figures and more. Her book becomes a multi-dimensional composite of her emotional states and experiences rather than a flat recounting of events. I experienced it more like talking to a close friend and confidante than reading a book written by a stranger. I think any woman confronting issues of motherhood--particularly if fertility is an issue on some level--will benefit from, and cherish--reading this book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars For those who want to take a peek into one woman's surrogacy journey, not to compare but to relate., November 15, 2009

By 

Sharon LaMothe "Sharon LaMothe: LaMothe Book ... (Seatlle, WA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Standing in Two Places: A New Landscape of Motherhood (Paperback)

I just finished reading Standing in Two Places by Ashley Dyson and always, wanted to share my honest thoughts with you. Although it's a 'thin' book, only 161 pages in length, it is thick with emotion as Ashley describes the circumstances that leads her to the Center for Surrogate Parenting and ultimately to her goal of having her 2nd child with the help of her surrogate mother,Norah.

Infertility is an individualized journey as is surrogacy. Each Intended Parent has their own coping mechanism and apparently Ashley has found hers in reading the likes of Erik H. Erikson (Identity: Youth and Crisis) and Betty Lifton (Journey of the Adopted Self) among several other books and she quotes them quite often amongst the 161 pages of her book...is that to avoid going to deeply into the relationship she has with Norah? Because there isn't much regarding the actual surrogacy relationship. (Ashley does recount her feelings on the paper work she receives from the surrogacy agency on how to treat her surrogate and frankly seems a little "put off" on page 108)

I believe that Intended Mothers/Parents who are going through the surrogacy process will relate to many of the emotions that are shared within the pages of this memoir. However, for me, it seemed a bit superficial only because there were so many other manuscripts, articles, books, and quotes between the pages and no real exploration (that I was expecting to find) regarding the relationship between the surrogate mother, Norah, and Ashley.

This is about one woman's story....it is far and away from any sort of "guide book". To complete and publish a book like this, about personal relationships, disappointments and hard decisions, has to be applauded. I recommend Standing in Two Places by Ashley Dyson to those who want to take a peek into one woman's surrogacy journey, not to compare but to relate.

5.0 out of 5 stars RN/Social Worker Recommends This Book, November 6, 2009

By 

Cheryl (Rushville, IN) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Standing in Two Places: A New Landscape of Motherhood (Paperback)

As a Social Worker and RN who has been blessed with the ability to conceive, I enjoyed reading and learning about surrogacy from the mother's perspective. Very moving book.